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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my colleague is being irresponsible?

61 replies

Iwillbouceback · 15/03/2022 12:35

Just want to start this by saying that I know the updated guidelines suggest that how she is behaving is perfectly fine so this isn’t an AIBU regarding the following or breaking of guidelines, merely one on doing something that is morally right given the rising rates of Covid again.

Colleague’s husband has Covid. She developed symptoms Sunday but her LFT is negative so she’s at work, going about her business as normal, and not even wearing a mask when in close contact with others, including those who are vulnerable and extremely vulnerable. (Not health care!)

Aibu to think she is acting quite irresponsibly? She’s refusing to get a PCR as her LFT is fine, even though she’s complaining about feeling unwell.

OP posts:
ClaudiaWankleman · 15/03/2022 14:25

But if she's showing symptoms, she should at least have the courtesy to social distance / wear a mask while at work.

She's not 'showing symptoms' she's complained about feeling unwell. Maybe she's a bit run down and has PMS. OP hasn't given any suggestion she has Covid symptoms.

Justcallmebebes · 15/03/2022 14:26

It's over. No one cares. Move on

LampLighter414 · 15/03/2022 14:27

Negative LFT deals with a lot of the risk and I assume your employers policy (whatever it may be) on covid in the household hasn't been breached?

Additionally if your employer or job wouldn't facilitate WFH and there is no full pay for being sick/isolating then you are definitely being unreasonable. A lot of people can't afford to miss out on pay!

pawpaws2022 · 15/03/2022 14:29

@Justcallmebebes

It's over. No one cares. Move on
Must be so nice to be able to think like that I don't think about it day too day because I'm not leaving the house much but it's stopping me from shopping in person etc and still WFH
Imaysnapandfart · 15/03/2022 14:29

Why would OP bother to say the colleague was complaining of feeling unwell unless she meant COVID symptoms? Confused

I get that it's been a long haul and everyone wants to just "get on with it" but unfortunately it hasn't gone anywhere and we need to still be mindful of it! Just because you don't LEGALLY have to self isolate, doesn't mean you shouldn't use your common sense. If you look on the government website it does suggest to self isolate if you have symptoms or if someone you live with has tested positive. It's just not a LEGAL requirement.

I have a vulnerable family member who would very likely not survive if they caught COVID - so if someone came into my office showing symptoms after living with someone who has tested positive, I would take a very dim view. Just because it's a cold to most healthy people doesn't mean it is for others.

cherrysthename · 15/03/2022 14:33

I haven't even thought about Covid for ages. In fact I only do when these threads crop up on here

Imaysnapandfart · 15/03/2022 14:34

@cherrysthename

I haven't even thought about Covid for ages. In fact I only do when these threads crop up on here
How nice for you!
mrsbitaly · 15/03/2022 14:35

I know its difficult to get your head round isn't it. At the beginning we would see people in hazmat suits entering homes with people with possible covid, to lockdown, distance,masks, to now hey ho everyone crack on as normal 😆

My 2 year old has covid right now my husband has gone to work wearing a mask along with daily testing. Right now I'm not comfortable with freely passing it around. I know people who have become seriously unwell who have had all jabs and in good shape. It's the roll of a dice whether you have cold/flu like symptoms or require hospital care.

cherrysthename · 15/03/2022 14:38

@Imaysnapandfart that's the reality for most people. I feel dreadful for anyone who is still genuinely frightened or medically vulnerable, but we all live our lives according to our own risks/capabilities/needs, I suppose.

Overthebow · 15/03/2022 14:39

@Justcallmebebes

It's over. No one cares. Move on
Yep. Everyone’s just getting on with life now. I couldn’t really care less if someone is in work with covid I the house or has covid themselves. It’s all within the rules now so up to individuals if they want to avoid it.
ClaudiaWankleman · 15/03/2022 14:43

Why would OP bother to say the colleague was complaining of feeling unwell unless she meant COVID symptoms?

I'd say the opposite. Anyone that bothered about Covid would clearly mention the woman is exhibiting symptoms, rather than saying 'unwell'.

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 15/03/2022 15:04

Yawn. Selfish, no morals, no courtesy, not-against-the-rules-BUT ….. Anything else to add to the bingo card?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 15/03/2022 15:09

@Whetheryouthinkyoucan

Yawn. Selfish, no morals, no courtesy, not-against-the-rules-BUT ….. Anything else to add to the bingo card?
Just so predictable.
Chloemol · 15/03/2022 15:18

I think she is inconsiderate. By all means come to work but wear a mask and SD

No wonder cases are going up

Newbie44 · 15/03/2022 15:19

Government guidance (latest)

“You may previously have received a letter or email identifying you as someone who is clinically extremely vulnerable (CEV), and you may have been advised to shield during earlier stages of the pandemic.

Most people who were identified as CEV are now well protected after receiving their primary and booster vaccination doses. For most people who were CEV, you are no longer at substantially greater risk than the general population, and you are advised to follow the same guidance as everyone else on staying safe and preventing the spread of coronavirus (COVID-19), as well as any further advice you may have received from your doctor. There is no longer separate guidance for people previously identified as CEV, although we recommend anyone with underlying health conditions takes care to avoid routine coughs, colds and other respiratory viruses”

Kind of supports both sides really, most people who used to describe themselves as vulnerable or extremely vulnerable are at no greater risk, especially if vaccinated.
To try to ‘prevent the spread’ would suggest keeping your distance from others as far as possible, so perhaps the colleague could have worn a mask if only out of consideration.

This would apply to all germs at work I imagine!

Broads93 · 15/03/2022 15:26

@waitingandhoping243

Most of us are just getting on with life now. You may disagree and that's fine but I don't blame anyone for either a) taking precautions or b) not taking precautions.
This is spot on!! I wish more people would take this stance and stop walking on eggshells!
MargosKaftan · 15/03/2022 15:30

OP- I currently have covid, im feeling pretty rough but not seriously ill- sore throat and tired. If the sore throat has gone and I feel ok, I'm expected to go to work tomorrow. Even though ill still be positive. There are kids in school who are positive and know they are.

Set against that, testing when you have no symptoms and only going to work if you are negative is pretty responsible.

Mariposista · 15/03/2022 15:30

@Whetheryouthinkyoucan

Yawn. Selfish, no morals, no courtesy, not-against-the-rules-BUT ….. Anything else to add to the bingo card?
hahahahahahah brilliant. I think the same as you, I'd love to play 'can't give a damn about covid anymore bingo' hahahaha especially after a glass of wine
MargosKaftan · 15/03/2022 15:32

Oh just seen she has some symptoms but not sick enough to normally be off work and a negative LFT. It is what it is then. She could be expected to work if she's positive but feeling ok.

MardyOldGoth · 15/03/2022 15:32

I think it's really selfish but the government has created this situation by pretending that it's gone away now.

Twizbe · 15/03/2022 16:19

I've been on here long enough to guess that her husband has decided to 'isolate' and has therefore absented himself from adulting / parenting.

Probably means she can't afford to self isolate in many ways.

Blurp · 15/03/2022 17:56

I think YANBU. She may have to come to work, but it's basically no extra effort to keep your distance and wear a mask (assuming she's not severely asthmatic or something, but still she could distance) if you're around vulnerable people. Different if she was being asked to do something really onerous, but she's not.

MrsDThomas · 15/03/2022 18:00

Absolutely wouldn’t bother me.

I live, carry on and simply don’t give a shit anymore.

I learned a 16 yr old i know died today after year of MH issues. Covid really fucked him up and rules and regulations and no access to the help he needed.

Enough is fucking enough.

Squeezita · 15/03/2022 18:06

For me it's a matter of common sense. I've had covid twice now, once in 2020 and once in 2022. Both times were awful.

I don't want Covid again, I don't want to give Covid to others.

If a family member tests positive, I LFT every day and WFH.

I am living my best life again but I can still be responsible to my colleagues and friends and family.

HamCob · 15/03/2022 18:09

@waitingandhoping243

LFTs are really accurate too. Mine have only ever been positive when I've had covid, same for family and friends.
Lol. They're really not. I tested negative on a LFT for 3 days with symptoms. Same with DH. DS didn't ever show positive on a LFT even though he had Covid.