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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if I will have a conversation with my son one day

32 replies

BigBugEyes · 14/03/2022 23:41

My lovely DS turned 3 in January and is speech and language delayed and possibly has ASD. I know that nobody knows, but I can't help dreaming about the chances of him having a conversation with me one day. He points to request, understands some simple commands, is generally well behaved, eats and sleeps well and has gone from being completely non verbal a few months back to now saying 40 single words (in context) and a few phrases, "go away", "rain, rain, go away", "climb the tree" etc. His speech is still pretty unclear, but it's a massive improvement from 0 worfs and let's give the boy a chance to get started. Any positivity appreciated. I'm a proud parent, but I long to chatter away with him...❤

OP posts:

Original poster

BigBugEyes · 14/03/2022 23:42

Words*

OP posts:

PeppaPigWorld · 14/03/2022 23:46

I'm sure you will! I'm no expert, but if he's got that many words already and understands what you say then I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

StillMedusa · 14/03/2022 23:48

My son had no speech at ALL until he was 5... first diagnosed as having a global developmental delay and severe speech delay, then autism.
Attended special school all the way through school
His speech was very very hard to understand until he was about 9 or 10 ..but just kept coming.
Now he's 24. He never stops talking! Yes he has autism and some learning difficulties, but he is friendly and very chatty and his Rainman tendencies mean he has an incredible knowledge of his special interests and can hold an incredible conversation about them!

He attended a special needs college, did a Mencap traineeship and has now had a job in our local Asda for 5 years!

If someone had told me he would achieve that when he was 3 I'd have cried and laughed in disbelief.
The fact your son has words coming now is fantastic... he will chat to you in the future for sure (I also work with children who have severe autism and other disabilities and any speech by 3 is a VERY good sign!)

ShaneTwane · 14/03/2022 23:48

Bless him that's great progress. My DN has severe ASD and is still classed as non verbal but like your ds has progressed to having lots of words and now at age 6 answers simple questions and sometimes tells little stories and has started saying "I love you mummy" to dsis! There is so much hope for your little boy it's disheartening when it feels like it will never happen but look how far he has come already and he's still only 3!

Colourfulrainbows · 14/03/2022 23:53

Hello hope you are OK. Just read your post. I get it I really do. I have a nearly 21 year old with autism and learning disabilities ( plus genetic condition). When he was 3 he had about 75 words and half was hard to understand. Now he has a multitude of words ( including swearing) and has developed over time to the stage he is at. Yes can have a conversation ( abet about buses and on his terms). The reason for my reply is just to say whilst I personally don't know how your child will develop and how much he will talk. If he has some speech and noises I was told years back is room to grow the communication. Lots and lots of just talking as though having a conversation and repeating words. Makaton we use as an aid not instead.

And I just want to say I get it. Took years before I heard I love you from him. And I used to be at work and customer would complain about there 3 year old never shutting up and I at that time would of given anything to hear mine chatter.

Just wanted to say is hope don't loose hope and trust yourself and your child when it comes to the rate they develop.

If you have any questions feel free to ask and sorry long.

x2boys · 15/03/2022 07:20

Well he sounds like he's making great progress,so maybe I have a non verbal 12 year old ,you do come to accept it's not the end of the world tbh

Original poster

BigBugEyes · 15/03/2022 07:39

Thanks everyone

OP posts:

DressingPafe · 15/03/2022 08:00

Don’t worry. My DS was the same. He’s an adult now and we have long chats about anything and everything! We can talk for hours. He does still struggle at times getting his thoughts into order, as to what he wants to say, but he gets there.

MumsMetHer · 15/03/2022 08:05

My father didn't speak until he was 4.

In the course of his career he gave tens of thousands of speeches and presentations and interviews, sometimes to hundreds of people at a time. He always refused to be interviewed by R4's Today though, because of the early start.

Your son may well surprise you, but he's already brilliant, as you know of course

Upamountain43 · 15/03/2022 08:41

I know some adults with ASD who are non verbal to everyone - except their Mum who they hold full conversations with.

He sounds like he is making good progress - and you are doing all the right things.

Just to give a comparison though our SEN/LD child was still in nappies until he was 12 and then suddenly out of the blue toilet trained himself in a week - so you never know what may happen in the future.

Sswhinesthebest · 15/03/2022 08:43

I think it’s positive that he’s speaking already.

PatSpringleaf · 15/03/2022 08:50

My son was the same! He's 3y 5m now and has only been saying proper words since the start of the year. He doesn't have sentences yet and can only ask for a few select things but he's improving every day. Preschool has helped massively.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/03/2022 08:51

I’ve said it before on here, but a BiL barely uttered at all until he was 3. MiL told me she’d been getting very worried.

He later won a scholarship to Cambridge, is not on the spectrum, and can hold a normally intelligent conversation with anyone about just about anything.

Kage30 · 15/03/2022 09:02

Every child on the spectrum is different, some learn to talk, some don't! But my childrens stories might give you some hope. Some children are just speech delayed, doesn't mean they are autistic.

Ds (now 11) was totally non verbal until 4ish. He literally didn't say a single word, had no non verbal communication skills either, he got frustrated, he had no understanding of basic concepts and speech therapy was not helping either.

Fast forward to about 4.5, his speech pretty much exploded, it was when he started school it really came on. He is 11 now and doesn't stop talking, been signed off speech therapy etc. His speech is still a little immature for his age but considering where he was a few years ago, he's doing great. You can have a conversation with him and he understands everything. He is on the spectrum, diagnosed aged 5.

My youngest Dd was also speech delayed but not autistic. She didn't say many words untik 3.5 - 4 buy it was just her speech, her understanding, non verbal social skills etc were all on track, it was just speech she struggled with. Now at 7 she doesn't stop talking either.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 15/03/2022 09:15

My dd had few words and a crippling stammer as a toddler.
A shed load of private speech therapy, starting school and the entire family modelling correct speech meant she was talking clearly by the end of year 1. The stammer went as well.

tkwal · 15/03/2022 09:20

You can still chatter away to him and in time the amount of chatter you get back will increase. He's your son, you know him best and it sounds like you are doing so well with him

EveryCloudIsGrey · 15/03/2022 09:20

Aww there are some lovely stories here OP 😌

dworky · 15/03/2022 09:22

It's just a matter of time.

Isonthecase · 15/03/2022 09:41

That's great progress! You must be so proud of him ☺️ I'm sure you'll be chatting away together eventually.

Mummyjlr120 · 15/03/2022 10:09

My son only just started saying words and he’s nearly 4, and the words he do say no 1 understands him but I do, may take a bit of time but he will get there in the end :)

gurly · 15/03/2022 10:59

I was told my son would never be able to speak, read or write when he was 3. He's now 12 and can do all 3 of these things plus much more! He's amazing ❤️

My advice to anyone who was where I was 10'years ago...they do it when they are ready. I wish I hadn't spent so much time worrying (which is completely natural) as time really does go so fast. I used to spend hours researching, looking for cures, learning makaton etc when really I should of been spending that time with my beautiful little boy ❤️

He managed mainstream primary school but now goes to an sen secondary and he's an absolute legend!

x2boys · 15/03/2022 11:50

@gurly

I was told my son would never be able to speak, read or write when he was 3. He's now 12 and can do all 3 of these things plus much more! He's amazing ❤️

He managed mainstream primary school but now goes to an sen secondary and he's an absolute legend!

Many do ,some never do ,the I child sounds they are making great progress which is fantastic However I got so much false hope in the early years from well meaning people telling me ,my son would talk in his own time ,he's twelve now and completely non verbal ,he communicates via PECS etc , You can never tell in the early years really .

MedusasBadHairDay · 15/03/2022 11:56

DS was a late speaker, and when he started speaking had severe speech difficulties. Now you can't make him stop speaking.

Tootsweets84 · 15/03/2022 12:41

My little sister also had a speech delay due to a slight hearing problem as an infant and ASD. She hardly spoke at all before she was 5. She's now 25 and still struggles to pronounce the odd word, but is a total chatterbox. She lives in another country so speaks the native language there, but has even managed to pick up a few words and phrases in English. I think the fact that your son can say so many words and phrases at 3 is very positive and he will only improve as he gets older

TAKESNOSHITSHIRLEY · 15/03/2022 13:45

my 11 y old has complex disabilities and asd is one of them.
he was completely non verbal till he was 6 and half.
i thought he would never talk

with in months it was full conversations and hes been he same ever since

he has ADD as well and now talks non stop about anything and everything.

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