To HATE people staying at my house

[Fliss90]

My BIL and his friend stayed over from Thursday. They left this afternoon.

By Saturday I was totally drained and just wanted them to leave. I admit, I'm an introvert and I can enjoy social settings, but I love nothing more than being able to retreat to my own space without anyone else there.

They just TALK all the time. Stories and anecdotes which take ten minutes and I just zone out. I am never rude but I just find it so tiring.

I feel like I should be more sociable but I just don't want to be. I'm quite happy in my own company and I don't want to listen to people droning on for hours.

Anyone relate?

Im so happy that they've left, im sitting with a cup of tea just enjoying the peace 😂

Yes I relate. I need my own space and peace and quiet. I hate having to be 'on' all the time. I feel the same about staying in other people's houses. We're all different - some people love it, but there's nothing wrong with admitting you hate it

I struggle with visitors if it’s for more than one night - even if it’s someone I really like! I just find it exhausting having to be ‘on’ all the time.

Spot on with the being "on" thing.

Also, we only have one bathroom, which really doesn't help!

I can't stand long anecdotes. It always seems to be men telling them as well and trying to be funny. I love proper two way conversation but it's so exhausting having to pretend to be interested in someone telling you an uninteresting story in a long drawn out way and trying to look interested.

I solve this problem by never inviting people over. I find that on the rare occasions someone stays I go into hosting overdrive and I need about a week to recover from my exertions.

OMG yes. I am even worse thou, I hate visitors as I cannot "get on" and ignore them. I also hate visiting as I feel rude and cannot just leave whenever I want. I stay in premier inns near where others live and force myself to be a normal person and visit. Covid and lockdowns made me realise just how much happier I am without visits or visitors, but I do like people and have lots of friends.

I can't do visitors at all. It's weird. I can handle siblings, my parents (and fortunately, this just never happens anymore because everyone's older and they don't fancy an 11-hour flight to me), but once you get to even the cousins and godparents showing up, I get twitchy. I don't have visitors much. And when I go to visit friends, I will book a place rather than stay with them. I just really need my own space to retreat to.
I was watching Pretend It's a City on Netflix and I really relate to Fran Leibowitz's view. Her home is her sanctuary. She can't cope with people in it for more than 4 hours.
Funnily enough, my kids have had friends in our home, sleeping over regularly for years and years and I've LOVED that. I think it's because I don't have to entertain them at all. I feed them and make sure they're safe and loved, but that's it. They don't need me. They're not invading my space- physical or head- so it works!

I completely relate. I love my own space and feel somehow inhibited from being myself when we have friends or family staying. It's such an effort to constantly be sociable and on hostess mode.

Don't invite them?
I like having visitors, but we have two bathrooms and a downstairs loo.

When DH and I visit people we just book a local B & B rather than staying in other people's houses.

My main gripe with having visitors is not being able to fling my bra off as soon as I walk through the front door and change into my trackies/pjs/whatever feels better than real clothes 😂

I feel the same OP. We don't have many overnight guests but I am also an introvert and find it exhausting when people talk for a long time (long story etc) and also we have one bathroom and I find it a bit of an imposition to have to share tbh!

@TheVanguardSix

I can't do visitors at all. It's weird. I can handle siblings, my parents (and fortunately, this just never happens anymore because everyone's older and they don't fancy an 11-hour flight to me), but once you get to even the cousins and godparents showing up, I get twitchy. I don't have visitors much. And when I go to visit friends, I will book a place rather than stay with them. I just really need my own space to retreat to. I was watching Pretend It's a City on Netflix and I really relate to Fran Leibowitz's view. Her home is her sanctuary. She can't cope with people in it for more than 4 hours. Funnily enough, my kids have had friends in our home, sleeping over regularly for years and years and I've LOVED that. I think it's because I don't have to entertain them at all. I feed them and make sure they're safe and loved, but that's it. They don't need me. They're not invading my space- physical or head- so it works!

I think 4 hours is a reasonable time frame actually.

After 4 days I start to feel seriously twitchy and almost angry 😂

I hate visitors so I never have them. I’m lucky to be a long long way away from family.

"Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days."

Oh god yes! Totally agree OP. Just wears me out. I love my partner so very much but I even want him out after a couple of days. It just feels sooooo claustrophobic. Funnily enough, never feels like that with my kids or their mates.