To end things?

[ficklefi]

I have been with DP for a year. We don't live together but have lots of mutual friends and most of my social life involves him, we spend a lot of time together.

I really love and care for him a lot. We have a good time when we're together but have also had a few bumps. I can see a future with him.

I am coming to realise I'm not ready for anything serious or to settle right now. He wants this, he is very full on and needs commitment from me. I thought I wanted this at first too, but I don't.

I struggle with my mental health and I know I am not being the best partner I can be at times.

I don't think it's him, it really is me. I think I know that deep down I need to walk away, but I can't.

In an ideal world, we'd part ways for a bit and then we would get back together once I had sorted myself. But I know it's not an ideal world and that's completely unfair.

Would you end it in my position, or weather the storm together until I'm better? I know he will suggest the latter.

How old are you both? This will heavily impact my response

We are 22

You can finish it for whatever reason you want; it sounds like you find the relationship a bit overbearing at the moment so it is far better to look after your mental health and follow your instinct.

You can just say to him you want to focus on your mental health but realise he can't be expected to hang around waiting for you. That might leave the door a bit wider open.

@ficklefi you’re so young, please don’t waste the best years of your life in a situation where you’re not happy. You should be grasping life with both hands and having no end of exciting new experiences at your age, not feeling shackled and pressured in to something that doesn’t make you happy. I wasted my 20s in a big intense relationship which ended when I hit 30, I look back and wish someone had said these words to me! Being single aged 30-34 was some of the best fun of my life but I was feeling the biological clock pressure and wished I’d had my single days 10 years earlier!

@ficklefi and maybe I’m getting too cod-psychology here but your username is worrying - you’re not fickle because you don’t want to be effectively married at the age of 22!! Don’t let your boyfriend make you feel bad for wanting some years of independence and freedom, which is totally normal at your age.

Do what's best for you, not what's best for him or your social group. You are building the foundations for a healthy life going forward, he needs to respect that. Communicate clearly and calmly what you need to go forward and his response will tell you if you can stay in a relationship with him. Well done for listening to yourself.