To not understand this?

[ChocolateIsAlwaysTheAnswer]

The way in which some people can be so selfish, use others for their own gain but seem to have lovely lives? A great marriage, fantastic kids, money, well paid job and lots of friends etc? Yet others who always try and do good by others never get the same?

Because life isn't always fair, and you don't always get what you deserve, whether that's good or bad.

Life is shit sometimes! Karma doesn't exist.

But none of those things is a reward for Doing Good.

Even a great marriage and lots of friends - the great marriage might be because the person is savvy enough to give what their partner wants (whether that be plenty of sex, plenty of money, no questions asked...) and the friends might be because the person is fun to be with.

Why would an employer give the job to someone who spends their time doing things for other people? They don't care how nice you are, they want someone who will do what they need.

And children definitely don't want you to spend your time doing things for other people!

You have no idea what other people's lives are really like though. Brooding over what you think is the undeserved good fortune of others won't change anything.

How do you know the marriages are great and the friends are genuine?

Sometimes being a bit selfish is the better choice

Sorry I pressed send too soon. Sometimes choosing the selfish option means you do end up with better things because you’ve put yourself first , if you get me?

I used to feel the same way but as a good friend of mine used to say (sadly died very young) "The grass may look greener on the other side but it still needs be be cut". Sometimes people can look like they have everything from the outside but the opposite is true.

Honestly if you brood about how others that aren’t very nice have got it much better you will make yourself very unhappy . If you want something make it happen don’t sit around thinking life isn’t fair as others have it better .

Life is not fair. We have a built in sense of fairness that we feel things are meant to be fair, even children have it. It's sounds harsh but it just is not fair. Children are abused, die in war, some good people die horrible deaths. Some bad people get rich, abuse people and live seemingly trouble free lives. You have have let go of feeling that things need to be fair, or you will live your life a bitter person.

It’s all opinion. I am sure there will be people who think you are undeserving too.

2 horrible shallow individuals can easily have a great marriage because they have similar goals and interests!

No. no, no , no ,no - if you have a generous heart you will never be happy putting yourself first. Leave that to the self-absorbed. It works for them, but it wouldn't for you.

Yet others who always try and do good by others never get the same

I don’t think that’s true.

Yes, some good people do have bad luck, but I know a lot of good people who have very happy lives.

Life isn't tit for tat. People who are arseholes can have good luck. They can be loved and admired by others. Either because they share the same values,or because they know how to play the game.
Nice people can have awful bad luck, be hated by others and lots of other shit thrown their way.

Most people are a mix of arsehole and nice with a mix of shit and luck in their lives.

What in particular is annoying you? People outside my life may think I have it great. People who know my health conditions and MH issues know I don't.

Some of my friends have great jobs/cars but miserable marriages.

Other friends rely on food banks and are disabled but love their cats and are very happy.

Who/what are you judging yourself against?

As others have said life is unfair unfortunately.
I would suggest deciding what it is you really want, good marriage, great job, fabulous social life and then try and work out how you can get it.
Just ignore what other people have or don’t have, you will never really know what their life is like.

We all know a complete arsewipe who seems to get along quite nicely and we all know a lovely person who seems to have an uphill battle. That’s life! Bloody annoying though

I would be very surprised if the marriage wasn't great. Been together 15 years and seem extremely happy and not just on social media either. Tons of friends, pretty sure at least a few of them are genuine.
I just feel fed up. I know it's pointless and silly and I have to accept this is the way things go but it is really disheartening because most of the people who have screwed me over in life have done amazingly both professionally and personally throughout their lives yet aren't very nice people.