Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move house until I’m happy

7 replies

Theonewiththeglasses · 14/03/2022 16:54

I’ve been having issues for the past 7 years with homes we have lived in. We do live in a trouble area but unfortunately due to work and schools we are stuck here until all the kids have left school. We have moved house twice in this time as we have had ended up with horrendous neighbours that made our life hell through their selfish actions. The first time I actually posted here for help and everyone told me to move house asapas I was going through a mental breakdown over it.
We did move but unfortunately the previous family at the current house lied and we had a similar problem once again with a large intimidating family. We are now looking for another property but slightly further out hoping we will get something nicer but still able to travel back.
I was speaking to my aunt about it hoping for a shoulder to cry on and she was really annoyed and shouted at me saying I’m being selfish and childish to keep moving house (because neighbours are affecting my mental health) when I should ignore them. it took me aback as I’d say the common sense thing to do would be to remove yourself from a toxic situation when it affects your daily life and the walls are so thin you can even hear them pee.
It’s now made me feel very guilty that I have uprooted my children twice because IM unhappy and potentially about to do it again. Just to be clear these aren’t silly issues like not liking a neighbour or parking wars, it’s been serious each time such as harassment, name calling, damage to property, music all night, you get the picture but it’s been an unbearable 7 years for me and I can’t be a good parent when I’m unhappy in my own home and walking on eggshells.
Am I being selfish or would you do the same thing? I’m prepared to accept any comments or criticism. I have tried the complaint route but they didn’t help us either time so I’m not interested in fighting back.

OP posts:
LolaButt · 14/03/2022 17:09

Just one of those issues would be enough for me to want to move. Your home is supposed to be somewhere you feel safe and can relax.

It’s better for the children to move home rather than be brought up thinking that antisocial behaviour is acceptable. They’re not moving schools so the impact on friendships etc are likely minimal?!

LimeSupper · 14/03/2022 17:14

Well we’ve moved more than that to climb the property ladder. Can’t say the kids care less really. They have a very happy and stable home life and we’ve never moved village, just moved around the same area as we can afford better houses. I’m hoping to do one more move yet. I can’t see the issue really? Are the children upset about moving? What business is it of anyone else?

MrsMinge · 14/03/2022 17:18

Ignore your aunt. If you are not happy that's enough reason to move. Your children will pick up on your unhappiness

LittleBearPad · 14/03/2022 17:21

You’ve moved twice and are about to move again because of neighbours. You seem to have been very unlucky! If it’s really that bad then move however have you considered that maybe you’re being a bit sensitive? Three lots of unbearable neighbours?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/03/2022 17:24

Are you renting or buying?

If renting, then private or HA?

Theonewiththeglasses · 14/03/2022 17:34

Thanks for the replies it’s made me feel a bit better that’s others would do the same.
Yes I’m sensitive to noise but also no one sane would tolerate music all night and threatening behaviour when as a PP said it should be our safe space to relax.
Renting HA.
Overall my eldest has moved 6 times in his life so he’s getting a bit annoyed and didn’t want to look at photos of potential new houses like he did previously, but they will still be at the same school and still able to see friends they’ll just need to be dropped off rather than walk.
What upsets me most was the plans we had for this house and the kids were excited so now it’s like I’m taking that from them and unsettling them so they can’t feel like anywhere is home incase I move us again.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/03/2022 17:48

Well, chances are you will want to move again.

So yu have a few choices:

Move again and take your chances with unknown neighbours and unsettling your kids again.

Stay where you are and address issues directly with neighbours.

Ask HA for help with neighbours.

But to he honest, it doesn't sound as if you'll be happy anywhere HA if you are 'noise sensitive'. So you have some thinking to do.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page