I am dreadful at my new job

[Teddansononmyown]

Left a career after 15 years. I was bored and I really thought I needed a change. I was OK with the pay cut and loss of holidays as I was just so done with things. I was burnt out, not sleeping, crying all time etc.
I'm in my new job and I'm dreadful at it. Not all of it, but the face to face stuff is so stressful. I'm great at the preparation and report writing, but I'm not quick off the draw in terms of reacting anymore. I'm so used to doing things a certain way to get certain results, that if someone throws a curveball, I lose my spot or miss the point entirely. I then realise exactly what I should have said/done straight after the fact and can't believe it xidyt occur to me in the moment. In my 20s I would have been good at this; in my 40s I'm a bumbling mess.
I don't know what to do. My old job is gone and I'm not sure I would get a job in my old industry having jumped ship. I'm all over the place and not sure how long to give this before accepting its not for me. I've done 8 months and it's not making me happy.

If you have done 8 months and still feel this way then this job is probably not for you, can you speak to your manager and have a frank discussion and maybe extra training/help?

I’ve been here before and admitted defeat after nearly a year, the job gave me anxiety and I hated going in everyday. Have a look and see what other jobs are around that might be more suitable?

I wouldn't worry about your ability. The fact that you realise after the fact means you can do it, just need time for it to come naturally.

Most important thing is, if you could do it first time would you be happy in the job (or at least not miserable!)

I had terrible brain fog with peri menopause (I'm early 40s).

Eight months isn't a huge amount of time. It's the face to face stuff which needs to have a quicker reaction from you as you have realised, but surely quicker reactions/knowledge comes from experience?

As a PP asked, if you were better at this bit do you think you would enjoy the job? Because, personally I don't think you should give up yet!

DO you think you're dreadful or have you been told you're dreadful? Big difference. If you've been there eight months I'm assuming you've passed probation so can't be that bad.

Imposter syndrome?

Might sound mental but are you perimenopausal?

Have you considered the effects that peri-menopause is having on your mind and body? At your age, you are almost certainly in peri-menopause, and it can cause absolute chaos. Brain fog, anxiety, confusion, loss of confidence, the works. If I were you, I would look into the benefits of HRT.

Like PP, it could be the effects of peri-menopause and brain fog. I felt a lot 'quicker' a few weeks after starting HRT.

I've been on HRT for years-early menopause!! Maybe dosage needs to go up.
I don't know if it's medical or if it's just me. I've never been quick on my feet. Decent at analysis and writing policy documents-and presenting IF I can write everything down and practice an obscene amount-but instances where I've had to interview or do things without preparation have never been a strong suit. I'm too overly prepared I think, which means that I'm too regimented in how I think things 'should' go, rather than accepting that in the moment things may change.
I'm weirdly very good under extreme pressure when it's an active task, it just takes my brain time to catch up. Unfortunately, there's little concession for that in this role.
No complaints just yet by I imagine after today's beating there will be a few. I'll deal with them tomorrow.
I'm my own worst critic so I'm maybe being too hard on myself. I was probably OK but I'm not used to just being OK at things. It's not life or death so I just have to get over myself.

It sounds like you're being very hard on yourself yourself and setting unreasonably high standards.

I have had a hard time with work in the past because I am a perfectionist who is always very hard on myself when things don't go perfectly. I have done CBT, and other reading on perfectionism etc., which have really helped. A lot of the time I have to ask myself whether the thoughts that automatically run through my head are objectively true, or whether that's just the story I am telling myself.

Everyone has strengths and areas they can improve. No decent company will expect you to do everything perfectly only 8 months into the job, especially when you have made a big change. That's why you have targets and development plans.

Have you had a performance review where you have received this feedback or is it coming from your reaction to the parts of the job you find challenging? If it has come from feedback, what support or training is in place for you? What are your targets for improvement and how can you show that you are progressing?
If this idea has only come from your own views, can you review your targets / job description honestly and score yourself, then ask your manager / colleagues for feedback?

If you're really miserable then I don't think it's worth staying in this new role. However, are you sure you couldn't return to your former industry if you wanted to? People's careers are very rarely the perfect ladder, and there's no harm in being honest in an interview, saying you tried something different but it wasn't for you.

Have you ever looked at ADHD in adult women? There’s not much there to suggest you would have it so unlikely but might be worth checking? I’m also good in an emergency when I can’t overthink things and also struggle with perfectionism and switching between tasks. There’s been a lot of threads on here about it if you Google. It also gets worse around menopause so late diagnosis is common.