To not want 12 year old to be friends with this girl

[Theyulelog]

Ongoing problems with a girl in dds class. Friends one minute then fall out the next. This girl seems totally toxic and is always upsetting dd. They called eachother after school and played games like roblox. This girl was glued to her phone all day and night when not at school. She left dd abusive voicemails calling her an idiot for ignoring her. Would call and call and not let up. Even at 11pm there were missed calls.
When dd distances herself, she follows her around and says sorry and turns on the water works.
They went to an after school club last week and her left let her down so I gave her a lift home. The girl asked if I could pick her up and drop off every week. I agreed initially as I thought they had forgave and forgot.

After the lift home, the next day at school my dd got called fatty by this girl and said some horrible things about my dd and her fellow classmates. When my dd went to the teacher about her corners, the girl said my dd was sending her abusive messages. This was a complete lie and my dd got in trouble at school. I checked dds phone and there was nothing there. The girl finally admitted that she was lieing and turned the water works on. She’s now back to following her around saying sorry and my dd is getting in trouble at school for leaving her out.
I walked into dds room last night and she was crying, still upset about the insults at school. She asked me not to take the girl to the after school club.
I texted her mum and said I was unavailable to do lifts.
Now dd has changed her mind and says she wants to be friends with her but not best friends and have asked me to pick her up and drop off again. I said no.
Now dd is in a strop, saying she won’t be telling me anything that happens again and said I was being unkind.
I’m fuming but sick of all this drama.
Don’t know what to do or how to handle

Distance yourself from the intricate details. This is all quite typical. You start to make the decisions re lifts. All you can do is reiterate healthy friendships and good boundaries.

I’m trying to teach dd good boundaries and not to take peoples shit. There will be many times people try to upset her and I want to teach her to deal with it.
She seems to have good boundaries and then suddenly have none.
I know they will fall out and that’s natural but it’s the lies and abuse she gets from this girl when things don’t go her way. Dd is always getting hurt and i don’t want to entertain this girl any longer.

Have you told the school about the harassment? You’d get a restraining order if an adult did what this deranged girl is doing. Maybe the school can keep them apart if they’re in the same lessons. You need to teach your Dd about boundaries and self-respect. She needs to step away from this unhealthy relationship.

@PinkNails1 the teacher is aware of what’s going on and went to speak to her mum but the girl lied and said she has horse riding so had to rush out. She doesn’t even do horse riding. It’s all bullshit.
She also added me from her dads Facebook account sending me messages like hi and how are you, it’s dds friend. I had to block as the messages wouldn’t stop.
I’ve never came across a kid like this and she gives me the fear. I once saw her follow dd and her friend to the car but lurking behind and stood at the wall as dd got in the car. When I drove away she left.
I’ve told dd she should keep away from her but she chops and changes her mind.
She’s in a major huff with me and said I’m mean. I’m actually furious and want to shout that I won’t be listening to her when she comes crying to me again. I’ve kept my cool and explained I’m always there for her but she’s not being kind by going in moods when I’m trying to support her. She’s away to bed in a strop.

You won’t be able to stop them being friends! I would tell your dd she can’t change her mind about lifts as you have already communicated it to her mum. Don’t make a big deal out of their friendship but give her tips on how to keep herself safe and protected within that friendship.