ShouldI let H in the house?

[Alwaysthebeach]

Hello!
Thanks for reading. Long story but H lives separately due to mental health/alcohol issues yet blames me so moved out. Rental property I live with me and two DC is in both our names. H here a lot, as DC wont go to his place.He spends most of weekend here though does not stay here.

I was trying to make things as normal for children ie have himin the house as we are still married .. the alcohol makesit impossible.

I am at my wits end though as he constantly turns up house later than he says he will -no phone call or message and wheni get upset when he does turn up, he just gets angry and shouts and tells me everything us about me and what i want to do, even though he told me the time he wanted to come! He told me he had to do work and is stressed but just takesit out on me. I was crying today just listening to this abuse as Imtoldhow selfish I am.

I have now told him he canonly be in the house with kids if i am not there (he has to as they wont go to his and he has to look afetr them) and to give me the key. The neighbours can hear and ijust have no space of my own.

he comeshere sometimes cooks, leave sth dishes, does no cleaning etc yet uses the house. so i get left with the mess of everything

he is on the tenancy agreement. what can i do?im trying to get hom off it.

He told me he withhold the rent from me if i didnt let him come in. i am applying for child maintenance at the moment.

this is all because he cannot see clearly due to being in active his addcition.

his family dont believe me when i say he is alcoholic.
in despair

OP’s posts: See all

I expect if you ban him from the property and deny him access then yes, he could withhold the rent. You would be responsible for it.

Now is the time for a clear break. Get some advice from Women’s Aid or Shelter, split from him properly. This halfway thing isn’t working.

@Whetheryouthinkyoucan

I expect if you ban him from the property and deny him access then yes, he could withhold the rent. You would be responsible for it.

Now is the time for a clear break. Get some advice from Women’s Aid or Shelter, split from him properly. This halfway thing isn’t working.

Marital issues do not change a legal liability for the rent.

It would be far better to make it official and get him out/away/change the locks as he lives somewhere else, though, claim CMS and all benefits and move on single without the alcoholic abusive arsehole coming into her home to verbally abuse her some more, however.

That is a terrible way for you and your children to live. You should not have to take verbal abuse and yoyr children should not hear their father shouting abuse at their mother.
This will not work, ever, with an alcoholic. He does not care about you, or his children, just alcohol. It suits him to use your home, leave it in a mess then go home to drink.
Please contact Women’s Aid for advice. Getting him off your tenancy agreement will mean you are liable for 100% of the rent but you can claim Child Support from him and make sure you are claiming all the benefits you’re entitled to. Women’s Aid will help you.
In my experience dealing with an alcoholic never improves and leaving him alone with you children is not the safest option.

OP, please divorce him. Don't let him blackmail you. I had to get ex removed from tenancy as we were both on. He refused to leave for over 6months until he found somewhere. Ex was and is an alcoholic. He's been gone 5 years now and he's not seen children at all in last 2 years. Before that it was chaos with his drinking. Lying saying he was, I was making it up, using it as an excuse to stop him seeing the DC. Your husband is clearly still at the blaming outside things ie you. He will never recover until he admits to himself that he is the one with the problem and only he can fix it. You and your children deserve so much better. As did I and my children.