WWYD - secondary school stay, move, private

[wouldthatbeworse]

First world problem so excuse the tiny violin playing.
Secondary schools where we live are poor. Weak results, low expectations rather than really rough. DS is academic and struggles a bit socially. Not sporty. Also have DD who is too young to know what may suit her best.

Would you A plan to apply for the private school, hope they get in (only 1 co-Ed option although a couple more boys’ schools). All very competitive and will require major coaching. And just use the local school if they don’t get in?

B move to the area 3 miles away with the better although not amazing secondary. House will cost 50% more than current one and area has much less going on/worse public transport but it’s the sacrifice we choose to make?

C just stay in the area we like and hope for the best?

D something I’ve missed.

For context - and I do appreciate we are very lucky to have options. We can prob afford to go private for secondary for both but it will be a real stretch. We can afford to move instead. We can’t afford both. DH hates private schools and everything they stand for, he would prob do C. I’m much more open to private as I selfishly just want the best for my kids (who doesn’t?). We both love our house and area we're in.

Be gentle with me!

How old is DS? Have you actually been to look at the local schools or are you going by "reputation"?

It's 13 years ago now, but when DD1 was in y6 we went to visit all 5 possible state schools. One was the catchment school of her primary, another was our catchment school but we live 1/4 mile from the boundary of 2 others so went to see them too. Parents with older DC raved in the playground about the primary catchment one. I had heard mixed things (I am a secondary teacher). DD and I went to visit and I hated it. Staff were disinterested and their Maths teaching was poor. We went to our catchment one and walked out after the Head's ramble hit 45 minutes without mentioning results or extra curricular provision. Yet parents at the primary also thought it was a wonderful school, mostly because the Head prided himself on being a tough disciplinarian. The other 2 local ones were completely different. They didn't have the best OfSTED ratings, but they were inclusive and welcoming. Had we gone completely by reputation, we may well have ignored at least 2 much better options for us. As it was, DD ended up in my school and has done brilliantly from there.

Reputation isn't everything. By saving the money on private schooling, can you afford other experiences for your DC?

I agree. Visit the schools, talk to the parents, find the best fit for your child.
My children's school has got an inadequate ofsted (it was good when Eldest started) however I think it is great for my children and they will both do well.
DS2 sporty, lots of friends and is generally happy there.
DS1 is becoming more academic as he gets older and appears to be getting good results.
The school is inclusive, supportive etc, and not pushy, but pushy isn't great for lots of kids.

This all depends on context and your finances. We live in Waltham Abbey - love the area - forest, Lea Valley, straight on the M25. Like you and unlike those that seem to have 3 or 4 secondary choices we had one. We are out of catchment for everything else that school despite being 'good' gets 21% English and maths grade 9-4 and its progress 8 is below the average. Only goes to 16. Our choice therefore move e.g. broxbourne but v expensive and worse house or private (admittedly we can afford these choices). We went private and don't currently regret it but only in year 7 - there isn't always a magic state school round the corner you haven't thought of (and everyone else here if they care does church to get into davenant or trinity so if you can't afford you sacrifice Sunday or equivalent). Personally I'd go private - you'd be surprised at the inclusive that saves cost (my dd can be on site from 7-7 at no extra cost - full breakfast is 50p)

Thank you for these responses. We do need to have a proper look rather than focusing on results and reputation .

I expect the private is too much of a gamble anyway as if DS doesn’t get in it’s too late to move and as much as we’d try to hide the weight of this from him I would hate for DS to feel extra pressure.