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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stuck in a rut - need out

4 replies

Claddinghell · 13/03/2022 13:41

Think I need to vent and need a few solutions to get out of my rut. A few things have been going on in my life this past year and I think I am now stuck going round in circles. Think my confidence is really low.

  1. Got ill during lockdowns. Got steroid induced rare diabetes. My sugars are still high and I am exhausted., on medication and diet adjusted. Think this is the big issue for the rut. Waiting on referral to diabetes team to manage it better. Exhausted with constant brain fog and getting irritated easily so not nice person to be round sometimes. I am aware of this so sometimes hide away.
  1. My skin looks terrible. Got adult acne and it’s just horrible to look at. Diabetes means slow to heal, so left with crusty spots that last for ages. Also have really bad eczema on my hands. Have treatment from drs, but not helping.
  1. Work - there is a horrible woman who low level bullies people - horrible behind their back but sweetly nice to your face. She made a big mistake at work that affected me badly. No apology, just blaming others. Quick emails to blame others, but when I said we need to move forward, here are some solutions, silence.

I called her out on it and discovered she ignored and deleted the info I gave her. I had to escalate to manager and wholly hell broke out. Blaming me for lots of things I never did, which if she was successful my job was in danger. I think she felt threatened. Thankfully sorted and evidenced I didn’t do those things. no idea what’s been said to her.

Now I don’t really want to go to work or interact with her as she is dangerous. I WFH mostly to avoid her as if I breath she complains.

  1. Fallen in love with my male best friend - think I have. Tried to tell him but failed. Think he may feel the same, as he keeps going on how important I am and doing lots of nice things for me. Just worried will ruin friendship. We are both dating others at the moment and it’s not ideal situation. I beam hoping it’s a phase. We dated years ago but became really good friends. We text multiple times a day and have same interests. I don’t do that with other good friends. Out contact has ruined relationships before with others.
  1. All my friends have partners and families. It’s hard to make plans at weekends as babysitters etc needed. Can pop round to theirs but it’s not same as girly night out. Lots of people in my life but feel lonely. I have group hobbies etc to keep me occupied, but constantly tired.
  1. Supported a friend through a mental health crisis last year. Had no support through my exhaustion - so feel a bit used. But I haven’t told people how I feel. Just this one person, but they don’t ask how I am ever.

I don’t think I am depressed, just exhausted which impacts my life. Just don’t feel happy at all. But I think it’s exhaustion and constantly wanting to sleep. Going round in circles. On the odd day I feel less exhausted I am happy.

Basically the key to the issue is me being tired. Can’t seem to keep up with normal life and it’s getting me down. I have a stressful job and can’t keep up. I had a week annual leave where I rested and did fun things, but still exhausted.

I think the issues above get heightened due to exhaustion. Solutions please

Dr says nothing can be done till I get my sugars down. But it’s taking ages.

OP posts:
Podlesterong · 13/11/2022 18:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Inasec24 · 13/11/2022 19:40

I think your first step is your health. Focus on just that. Get your sugars down and get meds sorted. Any other small changes you can make too - more water, more exercise, etc.

Next, work. Look for a new job or make a plan to make the current situation better. But don't attempt this until step one is done.

Then, the friend. By this point your mind will be clearer. Make a decision whether talking to him about your feelings is worth the risk to your friendship etc.

Good luck!

Hottimesahead · 13/11/2022 20:26

@Inasec24 its an old post and I have name changed since then. That’s for the reply. Update:

Diabetes still bad, but being managed by meds. Just need to find right ones.

Skin still bad but getting better slowly

horrible girl at euro. Still there but turns out she is doing it with lots of people. This makes me feel better. HR now involved so hopefully she will be gone

best friend. I wasn’t in love with. A month after this post I met a lovely guy who I am still dating. My friend and I nearly had a drunken hook up but thankfully didn’t happen.

Best friend went in to have a dysfunctional relationship and from outside in, realised that was our dating life from years ago. Still friends, but realised he doesn’t know how to have a functional relationship and I am better off out of it. My guy is so much better and who I should he with. we are still good friends and it’s much better that way.

loneliness sort of disappeared after I met my guy. Now it’s hard to fit everyone in.

stealthninjamum · 13/11/2022 20:29

I never saw your original thread op but I’m really pleased you had a good update. I hope you get the right combination of medications and your skin gets better.

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