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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Family Feud!

34 replies

NVWD · 13/03/2022 12:42

New poster. Will try to cut a long story short.

So I worked for my aunt and her daughter in their nail salon for a few years. We were very close. Mostly myself and her daughter (we were like sisters).

I’ve always done nails outside of that salon in a little room at my house. For family and friends. No big deal , no secret. Just a little extra income to help pay the bills!

After the first lockdown hit , I told my aunt I’d like to cut down to part time in her salon to focus on my own business at home the other day or two. Instead of rushing home to squeeze my clients in on the evenings (which was fine until covid hit and I realised spending time with loved ones is more important than work).

This went down awful with her. She made me choose her salon or to work for myself but I could not do both. I chose to go my own way and have not looked back. But her and her daughter whom I was so so close with have totally ignored me since. I have had a baby since this happened about 16 months ago. She is now 4 months, they have ignored her and I am so so hurt by this. If there was a time to make things up I really thought me being pregnant would have been that time.
Sometimes I miss them and feel like we got no closure on the situation. And it is awkward if family events pop up.
How do I get them out of my head ? I feel like reaching out to them by sending them a picture of my daughter and letting them know it is a shame they are missing out on her. but also I am hurt as I feel I did nothing wrong. And that they owe me an apology . What would you do ?

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 13/03/2022 12:44

You were/are directly competing against them. Did you really think that would go down well?

ForensicFlossy · 13/03/2022 12:46

@Aquamarine1029

You were/are directly competing against them. Did you really think that would go down well?

This

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 13/03/2022 12:49

@Aquamarine1029 Are you suggesting she should have been bonded to them forever?
OP Frankly I wouldn't pursue it, their reaction appears extreme.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/03/2022 12:51

[quote Ihopeyourcakeisshit]@Aquamarine1029 Are you suggesting she should have been bonded to them forever?
OP Frankly I wouldn't pursue it, their reaction appears extreme.[/quote]
Of course not, but as with anything, there are good ways and not so good ways to go about anything. I'd like to hear the aunt's side of the story.

MatildaTheCat · 13/03/2022 12:56

Did you take clients from their salon? If so they do have a legitimate grievance especially if they trained you.

Unfortunately it’s probably not going to resolve but you could try an olive branch by actually apologising. Sending pictures of your baby so they can see what they are missing is a really bad idea.

HappyToSmile · 13/03/2022 13:03

I'm guessing you took some of their clients with you, and you're not still just working with "friends and family"? That probably didn't help relations.
Maybe reach out and apologise for any hard feelings.

Original poster

NVWD · 13/03/2022 13:07

I was definitely not competing against my aunt. Have had my own customers for years. Any client that I served in her salon I did not even mention to them I do nails outside of there.
My aunt did tell me I was competing with her and she was worried I would steal her customers. So I can see her view.
but was so shocked she thought this of me. And that she would let business come between our relationship.

OP posts:

Original poster

NVWD · 13/03/2022 13:10

@HappyToSmile yes this did happen. Clients from her salon found me through Facebook after that fall out ! Forgot to mention, the other girls who work there all do family and friends at home , I just feel like they turned on me because I am family ! Sometimes we take things out on the ones we are closest too and all that !!

OP posts:

Original poster

NVWD · 13/03/2022 13:14

@MatildaTheCat thank you. When working there I never took clients. For one thing I would never have had the nerve to say to anyone “hey come to my house and I’ll do your nails cheaper” 😂 and I didn’t need to be poaching clients , had enough with family and friends ! Yes I do think sending a baby pic is a bad idea aswell ! Just get the urge sometimes because she’s so cute and they really made me feel like we were so close. Now I think I was just a number to them

OP posts:

Original poster

NVWD · 13/03/2022 13:15

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit thanks for that. Hard to get them out of my head. Not one for holding a grudge. My husband and sister tell me to get over it like every day 😄 hopefully soon.

OP posts:

Tothemoonandbackx · 13/03/2022 13:16

So her worries were founded then. She was worried that clients would leave and go to you.....and some have. You can't really expect her to not be upset about it to be fair, those clients were her livelihood.

KaptainKaveman · 13/03/2022 13:24

They sounds very petty and bitter. You are better off without them.

UnderTheMoonlightWeDanced · 13/03/2022 13:44

Lol at everyone saying you poached her clients. I always follow the hairdresser/technician if I find one I like I’m never loyal to the “place” I’ve followed my current hairdresser to 3 different places and would support her if she went out on her own. Sounds mean but if I found someone better I would then go to them. Just the way it is. I’m paying for a service and I’ll pick the one that’s best for me whether it be convenient or price or skill etc.

Bunty55 · 13/03/2022 14:01

@UnderTheMoonlightWeDanced

Yeah but it sounds like they found out and put two and two together whether or not it was a five or a four......

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 13/03/2022 14:13

@Tothemoonandbackx

If her aunt was good enough her clients wouldn't leave. I would have no time for someone who chose tools a fridge over something like this. As I said before, extreme reaction. I think the OP is better off without people like this tbh.

girlmom21 · 13/03/2022 14:16

She wasn't worried until you wanted to go part time because she knew, until then, you didn't have time to compete against her.

You were setting up in direct competition- you must realise that - whilst also still using her premises etc half the time.

You said you hoped your pregnancy would resolve issues but it sounds like you meant that your pregnancy should've encouraged them to contact you.

Did you contact them to tell them about the pregnancy etc? If not that's another insult really.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 13/03/2022 14:19

My post should say chooses to hold a grudge, not tool a fridge - bloody autocorrect

Bunty55 · 13/03/2022 14:33

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

My post should say chooses to hold a grudge, not tool a fridge - bloody autocorrect

That made me laugh too much !

Tothemoonandbackx · 13/03/2022 15:14

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit yeah, and as I said, he worries were founded.

LittleOwl153 · 13/03/2022 15:23

I can see why she said no to part time. That really could have cost her big time.

However you are family and life moves on. You are allowed to change jobs and work for other people including yourself so that is fine.

In terms of going forward I think youbhave to just forget it. Move on with life. Don' t hold a grudge, don't expect an apology, just get on with things. Either they will come round in time or they won't. Life is too short for holding grudges.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 13/03/2022 15:26

I wasn't arguing with you.

Bellyups · 13/03/2022 15:31

You having a baby wouldn’t be high up on their thought list. I doubt they’ll be interested in seeing a pic.
You are her competition. I’m assuming you learned a lot/gained experience from her.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 13/03/2022 15:57

Bellyups OP says they were close ' like sisters'
You'd presume her having a baby would ordinarily be somewhere on their 'thought list'?
They sound a bit daft.

girlmom21 · 13/03/2022 17:00

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

Bellyups OP says they were close ' like sisters' You'd presume her having a baby would ordinarily be somewhere on their 'thought list'? They sound a bit daft.

But if they fell out and she left then she never even told them she was pregnant you can't expect them to be excited and involved

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 13/03/2022 17:03

Do we know that?

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