AIBU to think I can make big changes all at once?

[MsFrog]

I am sick of myself and the way I've become. I don't exercise and my diet is starting to get really bad. I'm so tired of feeling sore and stiff and having heartburn and feeling tired. I'm only mid-30s but physically I feel so much older.

I'm so fed up, I'm feeling motivated to change things. But the problem is, I've felt this way on and off for years, and I never stick at things. I start eating a bit better, then stop. I start yoga, then stop. In the past, it hasn't felt that important, but now I'm getting older I'm really feeling the affects of my lifestyle and I'm so irritated by myself for not doing the things I know I should.

AIBU to think I should just go for broke and say to myself I'm going to make big changes all at once? Is that setting myself up for a fall? DH things so, he thinks slow and steady is better, but that's just not worked for me in the past. Has anyone ever made loads of big changes all at once. Tips for motivation and longevity gratefully received!!

I find a go big approach is the best one, as you'll see results fast, and this will motivate you. Then slowly over time you can introduce treats here and there and the points when your weight loss would begin to slow.

For a number of reasons my weight spiralled last year. Once Christmas was out of the way, I dieted and exercised hard. This month I've started introducing the odd treat on the weekend here and there. I'm still losing weight but at a slower rate than when I started.

Obviously everyone's journeys are different and this might not work for everyone but personally I needed to see that big initial impact to motivate me. I don't stick to diet plan and I don't count calories. I just reduce my carb and sugar intake.

On the back of this thread i have written a meal plan for next week. I always have the best intentions on a Sunday! I think I will eat well and then the stress of the working week starts and I have inhaled a family size chocolate bar and not noticed. Hopefully commit ting it to paper will help!

If you decide to go all in, I would get a health check at the doctors first. Also try to work on your mindset at the same time. It can be easy to dwell on not seeing your weight go down on the scales one week, but if your clothes are fitting a bit better, or you've managed to mostly stick to your healthy eating plan, then that's still a big achievement.

I just wanted to come back on this thread to say thanks for all the comments. I've been ill with Covid so didn't end up coming back to it, but everyone's comments really made me think about myself and my motivations, particularly what @FusionChefGeoff said about knowing who you are and what @AuntFlorence said about how a lapse doesn't have to be a relapse.

I've realised that I am very easily put off by "failure" and I need to lose my "all or nothing" mindset. Doing a skincare regime 3x a week is better than never doing one, drinking some water is better than no water, 2 yoga sessions a week is better than nothing, only eating 2 biscuits a day is better than eating 4, etc. I've already been eating better and doing a few extra self-care things here and there.

It doesn't make me feel wonderful to know that I set out expecting failure, and that I'm also a terrible procrastinator, but it's actually been a good thing to learn about myself. Another PP said something about how it's important the way you view yourself, and I'm going to try to take that on board.

Hope the other people who commented find the best ways to move forward with their own goals!

Perfectionism is the enemy of progress
Because while you're aiming for perfection you will keep failing. I'm sure if you want this enough then you can get it so long as you are aware of your road blocks which could get in the way, such as perfectionism and fear of failure.

It is possible to have a dramatic change of mind, to have a 'eureka' moment a moment of clarity that changes everything. I wish you well on your weight loss and life transformation journey

Thank you @Relentlessrose, I hope this has been my moment of clarity! I really hope to be happier and healthier, and set a good example for my children on how to value yourself

@jb7445 that's brilliant to hear, well done to you for making those changes! That's exactly what I want - to eat well and live well for it's own sake, for the benefits it brings to my health and not because I'm "supposed" to

I think it can be too overwhelming to do everything at once. I think you should start one thing at a time, do it for at least a week and then introduce something new. I think it's more sustainable to do lots of little changes rather than one big one.

It's good advice, @GreenOwl, but I've tried it and failed loads of times. I'd make a change, add another, fall off a bit with one of them, abandon the whole thing.

I think small and steady is the way to do it for me, though, now that I've realised it's ok to slip or fail or make a positive change without being carb-free or at the gym 5 nights a week. I'm at the point where I've got to change my mindset to genuinely wanting to be healthier, and hopefully sustainable change will come, with some effort!