To be annoyed by no booze at IWD?

[jasminetea22]

I went to an International Women’s Day event in a small industrial northern town this evening. There were a couple of folk bands, a belly dancing group, and a local ‘poet’ who talked about South Indian culture. Their poems peddled tired and frankly offensive clichés about Asian women oppressed by dowry culture and selective abortion. There were fewer than 50 people in attendance. The event was held in the town’s only craft beer bar, but they had made the decision to only serve non-alcoholic drinks so that the event would ‘encourage people to join in’. 90% of people there were 60+ feminists who were desperate for a glass of wine. AIBU to be pissed off? When will feminism let us have a good night out?

Poor choice of venue by organisers.

But as someone who volunteers with groups supporting South Asian women with the issues you mention, they are not outdated ideas. Many organisations are poorly funded and cannot support half of the women they want to.

This may not be your experience but it definitely exists and it is not a tiny minority but very common. As someone who is 2nd gen south asian who grew up with parents that would be considered 'progressive', I've always known (and been told by many others) how my family was considered 'too westernised'. The women Ive met are surprised how mixed my family are and how my parents encouraged education, supporting yourself, and have never pressured me or my sibling to get married. Many of the women were born here, went to school here but were isolated when there parents thought they were getting out of control then married off, which definitely involved dowries.

TBH I don't see why everything has to involve alcohol

Perhaps start a new thread : “what was the worst/ most excruciating way IWD was marked in your area”

I’ll start, work had a panel session with external guests to discuss diversity and one of the grads stood up and said she felt she was only hired as she was female !! I didn’t know where to look.

Oh and OP YABU. booze would not have improved this shit event!

@jasminetea22

I went to an International Women’s Day event in a small industrial northern town this evening. There were a couple of folk bands, a belly dancing group, and a local ‘poet’ who talked about South Indian culture. Their poems peddled tired and frankly offensive clichés about Asian women oppressed by dowry culture and selective abortion. There were fewer than 50 people in attendance. The event was held in the town’s only craft beer bar, but they had made the decision to only serve non-alcoholic drinks so that the event would ‘encourage people to join in’. 90% of people there were 60+ feminists who were desperate for a glass of wine. AIBU to be pissed off? When will feminism let us have a good night out?

Sounds inclusive to me, if ut wad publicised as not serving, as this would have possibly encouraged some Muslim women to also attend that wouldn't otherwise.

Surely an event can be good with out alcohol? I don't think that's the issue as to why it was crap, and what's feminism got to do with no alcohol? Are you concerned you don't get the opportunity to drink like men??

Your evening out sounds riveting however why does everything have to revolve around alcohol?

Odd choice of venue. But I think it's a good idea not to have a dry event. It does create an air of exclusion when people who don't drink find themselves slowly surrounded by increasingly pissed people until they feel they just want to leave.

And if you feel you have to drink to have a good time then don't go and go to the pub instead.

90% of people there were 60+ feminists who were desperate for a glass of wine the decision was ro encourage the attendance of the 10% then

Just organise your own event next time. Then you can make sure everyone is free to get drunk so as to avoid being bored.

Perhaps the license didn’t cover the event, or they didn’t have the right staff that have had the training for serving alcohol. It may be the organiser only hired the venue space and no more, especially if funds are limited. It might not be a “statement” at all, and simply the practicalities of putting on an event with no money and only volunteers to sort it.

Their poems peddled tired and frankly offensive clichés about Asian women oppressed by dowry culture and selective abortion

Do you know more about it than them? As far as I am aware these issues still exist - there are respectable well-established charities that exist to deal with the fall-out. Just because we wish something was ‘outdated’ doesn’t mean it is. Our own experience isn’t universal, even if you’re from the community being discussed. That goes as much for you as for the local poet of course.

@jasminetea22

I mean that a feminist event shouldn’t have to be so worthy. What’s wrong with women wanting equality and a drink?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting equality and a drink.

Equally there’s nothing wrong with going to a non-drinking event.

The two aren’t really related, are they?

If you’d said “I went to an event in a local cool craft beer bar but there were only non-alcoholic drinks available - AIBU that they should have advertised that so we weren’t disappointed?” then I’d enthusiastically agree with you.

As it is your post is a bit oddly judgemental.

@NoSquirrels

Their poems peddled tired and frankly offensive clichés about Asian women oppressed by dowry culture and selective abortion

Do you know more about it than them? As far as I am aware these issues still exist - there are respectable well-established charities that exist to deal with the fall-out. Just because we wish something was ‘outdated’ doesn’t mean it is. Our own experience isn’t universal, even if you’re from the community being discussed. That goes as much for you as for the local poet of course.

Yes, they definitely still exist, sadly, and I would hope that poems tackling these issues would do so with nuance and care. These poems seemed to me to be rushed off, ill-informed and full of stereotypes about powerless Asian women.

The choice of venue led me and my friends to think that we'd be able to enjoy a drink. There were a lot of disappointed people there who'd obviously had the same expectation of a Saturday night in a craft beer bar. Lesson learned.

Could you not have enjoyed the event then headed out for a drink afterwards? Surely no one is that dependent on alcohol that their entire night is ruined if they can't get a glass of wine?

The combination of bad poetry + no alcohol + self righteous worthiness + dreary atmosphere sounds stultifying. Just the bad poetry alone would be deadly enough to discourage me. It is too bad when feminist events reinforce this particular stereotype.

@discoginsix

Think the last time feminism was a good night out was in the 70's when they drank wine and got their mirrors out I wish I had been there, raising my contiousness, maybe rattling my drum.

Raising your what??

What does alcohol have to do with feminism?
What does equality have to do with a drink?

YABU.
And weird.

I’d love a night out (feminism or not) without anyone drinking, sound like a good time!

@PurrBox

The combination of bad poetry + no alcohol + self righteous worthiness + dreary atmosphere sounds stultifying. Just the bad poetry alone would be deadly enough to discourage me. It is too bad when feminist events reinforce this particular stereotype.

Thank you. That's exactly what I was trying to say - you've just worded it a lot better than I did.

Sounds inclusive to me, if ut wad publicised as not serving, as this would have possibly encouraged some Muslim women to also attend that wouldn't otherwise.

Not if it was held in a craft beer bar it wouldn't. Clearly not thought through.

@discoginsix

Think the last time feminism was a good night out was in the 70's when they drank wine and got their mirrors out I wish I had been there, raising my contiousness, maybe rattling my drum.

I've never been able to find my drum with my mirror let alone rattle it.

@A580Hojas

Are south Asian women not oppressed by dowry culture then? Why did you find the poems offensive? It sounds like this event was designed to attract women who don't drink for religious or cultural reasons not a group of "60+ feminists" who can't go a night without booze.

A strange choice of venue though, agreed.

This in spades.

Why would you even need booze?

OMG YA SO NBU

The whole event sounded utterly shit to be fair 😂