Yes I posted this on 30 days but I had no response.
Hey I need some help and todays situation has basically come to ahead!
I am a mother of 3 children ages 1, 11 and 13.
Everything was great until last year when my eldest daughter told many fake stories online about abuse and mental health issues such as tics, which she did not have.
Her online lies where so severe I had banned her from the website (discord) and had grounded her.. after her grounding, she had discussed her lies with a school teacher and had hoped they would not take it further.
Well social services and the CID got involved.. fortunately she confessed she had been lying and had no idea why.. and also tried to say her teachers twisted her words and she hadn't actually said that 🙄 I explained to her that teachers will not make false claims. She had taken from that I believed the teachers over her ( well ofcourse I did they wouldn't lie for no reason).
Obviously social work and police took no further action.
Anyway. Since then I have checked on her phone and had noticed she goes by a males name.. lets say Sam. So I had a chat and said if you want to be called that, it is totally fine and I support you.
She freaked out and said no! It's just a nickname for friends and she does not want family knowing about it!!
I have checked in several times and I always get the same answer! (She is very girly, until she is talking or with friends).
So she and her younger sister are both in scouts together.
Today they had a camp. My 11 year old tried to talk to her sister and everyone in the group mocked her for calling her the name she uses at home.. including my 13 year old.. they repeated to her.. who is 'Sarah' (that isn't the name). Well my 11 year old got so upset and ran to the bathroom.. the scouts leader was informed that she was upset and missed home.
I was called and asked to come and collect her.. bare in mind it was 15 miles away and I had already drove 30 miles today.
Well I went and collected my daughter and she explained that she begged her sister to text me and say she did not want to go home, her sister refused. She had asked also another girl who's mum was a scout leader to call me and the other child said no too (13 year old bestie)!
So basically my 11 year old was taken home even though she pleaded with her sister to text me and say she wanted to stay!
I do not know what to with her, it is almost like she loves this double life she lives at school and with friends.. she will also not have friends over here because she has stated we live in a homeless shelter 😳 nope we have a perfectly good back and front door house! The only reason I thought she wasn't inviting friends over is because she has a bunk bed. I was so wrong 😑
I have just found out from 11 year old that one of the reasons she got upset is because the older girls where talking about a 3some and my 13 year old mentioned the 'devils tango'
How am I supposed to address this behaviour when she is literally a totally different person at home from school??? Apparently she has anxiety and panic attacks at school.. I am a very present parent and have never saw these things? I did see her having 'tics' once.. when she was with a friend,. Never has she had these things at home!