Don't want to do sleepover at DC 'friend' house

[23Elfie]

So DC 7 has a 'friend' at school. They are supposedly best pals but the friend is very bossy and controlling, DC has really had to learn to stand up for themselves over the years. Friend rules the roost at home and is not punished for awful behaviour which can display at times, strops if don't get own way and parents give in. Always a drama happening with this particular child. Tried to ignore it as much as I can as I know kids have spats one min and best friends the next. DC has now started to distance themselves a bit and play with the other kids more.
Friend has invited a group over for bday but DC can't make the date. Friend mum suggested we go swimming and a sleepover which we did last year as the date of that party clashed again. The swimming was fine but the sleepover was horrendous, I had to stay too as DC is awful sleeper and has anxiety isssues and I really don't want to do it again. How do we politely decline the sleepover? I don't want to cause a bad feeling but this child really irritates me and I dread the thought of another sleepover. I know I'm probably being U but I really don't want to listen to DC and friend arguing and whinging again

No way did that happen. You joined in with the sleepover??? I honestly can’t fathom how that happened…

I need more information 😂 who suggested it? You or them? I can’t believe no adult in this whole scenario was like “actually this is fucking insane” 😂 😂

Parents don't do sleepovers.

Ask your child. If they think they can manage then let them go . If not, decline.
Just don't go on sleepovers yourself. Bit embarrassing really.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

My dd hated sleepovers. I used to get little texts at 3.00 am saying ‘help’.

We struggled with a couple then she just bowed out.

It started again about 12/13, but now at 15 she just wants her own bed and plenty of lip,

Apologies for the derail, but please, please tell us how you got this un.

Sorry, op, but you've commented on it too

Rogue1001MNer

I don’t understand that last sentence!

Apologies for the derail, but please, please tell us how you got this un

Un as in goodun?

Un = user name.
It's fabulous @ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Please, please tell me there's a story behind it

Don't get played into having the girl at your house for a sleepover.

The one and only sleep over we had stopped any others in their tracks!..... Walking past the bedroom door and heard loads of giggling, oldest was about 10 or 11 yrs old and my youngest was about 9 yrs. There were 2 other kids again 10 or 11ish. I went in to the room to see what was going on and caught them all looking very guilty and glancing at the TV so bring the suspicious kind I went over to find 8 bottles of castaway had been secreted there!!
Well I knew they weren't ours and on questioning one of the visitors found out that they had been sent with them with her parents blessing!
I confiscated them and returned them to the offending parent with a terse "I think these are yours"

Haha!

It’s just an old saying. ‘I’ll show my arse in the Co op window’

Meaning that something is very unlikely to happen but if it does, I’ll sow my arse etc etc.

Hope this clears it up!

OP,
If you find it so hard to say no to a sleepover, can you see the really poor example you are to your daughter.

You desperately need assertiveness training and to start parenting your child.

You don't like this child who bosses your daughter yet you allowvthe frienship to continue.

This is very poor parenting.

Be massively less available.
Encourage other children to your daughter.

You have a child who is going to end up bullied if you do not help her stand up for herself.

Your child is too young for a sleepover if you have to go too - just say your happy for a playdate but not sleepover.

You went and stayed at the house too? Is this a wind-up thread?

Have a bit of a think about this, OP.

You don’t actually have to do things you don’t want to do (and certainly not things that are not in the best interests of your child), just because other people want you to do them.

Modelling this for your child (daughters, especially) is also kind of important.

This sounds like we have the same friend 😅. They've invited me to sleep over as DD 7 has anxiety and doesn't sleep out. Their DD is also very bossy and much described like your child's friend. I've avoided the invite so far, covid helped so it's been about 18 months of recurring invites and me not going for it. I don't like sleeping out anyway, let alone in this circumstance!

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Haha!

It’s just an old saying. ‘I’ll show my arse in the Co op window’

Meaning that something is very unlikely to happen but if it does, I’ll sow my arse etc etc.

Hope this clears it up!

Not round my way, but I'm going to start using it now!

She can't handle sleepovers so just say no! You're a lovely mum for sleeping over with her before but honestly that is above and beyond the call of duty.

Just to clarify if any one hasn't seen my other posts I've spoken to the other mum and said yes to swimming but no to sleepover due to DC sleep issues/anxiety etc and she can try when she's a bit older/if and when the sleep is better.

Side note : totally stealing showing my arse in the Co op window, never heard of the saying but it's brilliant!!