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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Best friend problems

6 replies

LVS2627 · 11/03/2022 22:23

I'm sure anyone who's been pregnant has been there before when their mates are telling them how excited they are for the birth and how they can't wait to meet them and they make out they'll never be away but then of course when baby is born they see them once and then are never to be seen again.

I had my first baby in June of last year and my 'best friend' was so excited when I announced my pregnancy but since my little girl has been here she's not made one bit of effort. I'd say we text fairly often and she never really asks about her. She also lives literally two mins up the road from me and I think she's been around twice since she's been born.

I just feel really disappointed. She's been my best friend for 10 years and I really thought she'd make an effort. I feel really let down and am always biting my tounge trying not to say something to her about it.

On top of this she started going out with this guy probably around January of last year, I actually set them up as he's a friend of my fiances and since then she's become even more distant. I wouldn't mind but she does this everytime she gets a boyfriend and it really bugs me. Around Christmas time she let me and our friendship group down for a night out because she said she was worried about catching covid so close to Christmas but then literally a few days later she was out with her boyfriend, posting stories of the two of them having drinks on her instagram. I was so upset.

Am I being unreasonable? I'm starting to question if she's even a good friend.

OP posts:
britneyisfree · 11/03/2022 22:59

She sounds like a shit friend tbh

peachy3 · 11/03/2022 23:41

Does she have children herself? Could it be a bit of a jealousy thing?

LVS2627 · 12/03/2022 08:23

I have wondered if its a jealously thing. I'm not saying when she does see my daughter that she's not lovely with her and she does give her attention but then I've noticed the very few times she has seen her she can be abit werid around her too and go very quiet.

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 12/03/2022 08:30

Sorry you feel like this OP, it is a horrible feeling when you feel like your best friend doesn't feel the same about you.

She might be jealous, she might be loved up, she might want to be going out on the lash and is aware you won't be doing that with a little one. She's just in a different life place at the moment. Friendships can ebb and flow, likely once she's in the children stage things will change again.

I have children, but had them later than most of my friends did. It does get a bit wearing when all socialising with a friend involves children, so there's that.

TacoCats · 12/03/2022 08:31

If she doesn't have kids, that's probably why she's weird. She's out of her depth. Your both at different stages in life so of course the closeness won't be there as much as before.
I'd give her the wide birth and look to make friends elsewhere.

Arabellla · 12/03/2022 08:37

YANBU. Remember this when it’s her turn, she’ll be expecting a lot more from you.

Do you have other friends you could build instead?

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