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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do I do about this?

20 replies

ncwtdwi · 10/03/2022 22:51

This isn't aibu but posting here for traffic as I don't know what else I can do.

I moved into my flat two years ago, The first Christmas I was there a parcel arrived with my address on it, I opened it because it did not have a name on it at all, Just my full address, Thought it was for me, It wasn't, It was full of wrapped Christmas gifts, a few cards and a letter, I opened the letter to see who it was for etc and it did not have a return address on the letter, There was cash inside the letter. It was from a grandmother to her daughter and grandkids. I still have all this unopened, apart from the letter. Grandmother wrote her husband wasn't well and she was trying to let them all know.

Brought it up with post office, I then had a death in my family and forgot about it. Over time more letters have been arriving and I saw the writing was the same, I put them to one side with the gifts etc. Christmas came around again and the same thing happened, Gifts etc.

There is a street not far from me (made up names) so say my street is called Highgate Drive, the other street would be Highgate Road, I went there to see if they knew any of the names as I thought it had been delivered to me instead of them, they had no idea and it wasn't for them.

I dropped them off at the post office and told them there was no return addresses and they were not for me.

More stuff keeps arriving so I opened a few of them again to see if any return address and there isn't one. Grandmother has now said grandad has passed away and how upset she is, and she just wants a hug from her grandkids.

Previous person who lived here left and nobody knows where she moved to so I have no way of contacting her. Her name is the same name as the daughter in the letters so they are for her, she had two kids also. She clearly hasn't told her mother where she is now living.

I have the name of the grandmother, daughter and two kids, Also know name of grans dog but for privacy of the family didn't want to post online.

What do I do?

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 10/03/2022 22:53

Any local Facebook group you could ask on to see if anyone has contact details?

Beachbreak2411 · 10/03/2022 22:55

That’s so sad 😞 can you search Facebook for possibilities??

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 10/03/2022 22:59

Really tough as I assume there is a reason the daughter has not given her mother her forwarding address. And its obviously not a mistake as if they had been in contact this would have come up. Perhaps just put it all aside if you have space and maybe one day someone will come looking for it. It does sound terribly sad, but without knowing the reasons for the relationship breakdown I would be cautious about getting involved.

Mybestyear · 10/03/2022 23:01

I can understand your predicament OP but there could be a good reason the daughter hasn’t told her mum she has moved /given new address. Could be abuse in the family for all we know.

I would probably just save them up and return to post office every so often - assuming they will take them.

Mybestyear · 10/03/2022 23:02

X post with @Ohsugarhoneyicetea

BusinessMindThoughts · 10/03/2022 23:05

I wouldn't try to track down the daughter and family but maybe try and see locally if you know the address of the person sending them and return them.
Most people sending parcels in the post will put a return address on almost out of habit so perhaps it's intentional, to provoke this kind of reaction and involvement?

BeHappy91818 · 10/03/2022 23:09

Is there a Facebook group for the place you live?
Ask Neighbor’s ?

Search Facebook for the names and message people.

Is there a telephone number?

HollowTalk · 10/03/2022 23:11

Was the woman a tenant or the owner? Have you looked on 192.com? You can see who lives in a house.

Want2beme · 10/03/2022 23:14

If you bought the property, your solicitor might have contact details for her. Maybe they could get in touch with her to, at least, tell her about the mail. If you're renting, maybe your landlord could help.

AddictedToOlives · 10/03/2022 23:16

Previous person who lived here left and nobody knows where she moved to so I have no way of contacting her. Her name is the same name as the daughter in the letters so they are for her, she had two kids also
Have you tried the estate agent you bought/rented from?

Otherwise definitely agree local FaceBook page. (Ours has this kind of pots regularly)

Also try 192.com?

This has made me quite sad. Almost hoping there was abuse/good reason for no contact

Jellybean23 · 10/03/2022 23:17

Maybe try the electoral register?

Jellybean23 · 10/03/2022 23:19

The postmarks on the envelopes might help you locate the area in which Grandmother lives.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/03/2022 23:19

There may be very good reasons as to why the family is estranged. Keep out of it and just give them back to the post office.

GreyCarpet · 10/03/2022 23:21

My mother doesn't know where I live. We haven't had contact in 10 years and she only has a previous address.

I would be furious if someone tracked me down to deliver a similar parcel.

I agree that there is a reason why she doesn't know her family's address.

Original poster
ncwtdwi · 10/03/2022 23:21

It's housing association, No surnames on letters either, just address and ending the letters Love Granny (name)

Have daughters full name due to letter arriving for unpaid bills when she lived here, looked on facebook, Nothing.

OP posts:
Original poster
ncwtdwi · 10/03/2022 23:22

@GreyCarpet

My mother doesn't know where I live. We haven't had contact in 10 years and she only has a previous address.

I would be furious if someone tracked me down to deliver a similar parcel.

I agree that there is a reason why she doesn't know her family's address.

Was thinking more trying to track down granny to give her the stuff back, It's quite a lot of money, no idea what the gifts are though as still unopened.
OP posts:
Duchess379 · 10/03/2022 23:52

Can't you contact the Housing Association & explain it to them? They may have details of where she has moved on to. Although they may not give you the details, they may be able to contact her themselves.

gingerhills · 11/03/2022 07:57

I wouldn't assume she hasn't told her mum her new address. She might have told her and her mum has got muddled - can happen when you get older.

girlmom21 · 11/03/2022 08:11

The housing association will know who lived there previously and will have contact details. They can't give them to you but they might call her.
They certainly would if she had outstanding rent!

girlmom21 · 11/03/2022 08:11

@gingerhills

I wouldn't assume she hasn't told her mum her new address. She might have told her and her mum has got muddled - can happen when you get older.
I doubt she'd be writing a letter to inform someone of their dads death if they were in regular contact
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