AIBU to feel like my career progression is not important?

[heather2908]

I’m not sure if this is me being over-sensitive because I’m exhausted or if I have a point.

I am a teacher and I’m doing my NPQLBC, which is a National Professional Qualification in Leading Behaviour and Culture. This is one of our areas for improvement in our school and I’m targeted to join SLT because of this.

I make a HUGE effort with my work/life balance (to the point that I work solidly from 7:45 to 17:45 without a break) to generally not bring much work home. I never bring marking home but do planning at home and practical things such as laminating or slicing. My family therefore knows that IF it comes home, it’s actually important.

I came home tonight at 5pm and explained that I NEED to get this NPQ unit done and could I have some peace (I could move rooms so they didn’t need to be disturbed) to complete this module. I’ve tried from 5:10pm to 7:10pm and have had nothing but chatting, walking in and out of whichever room I was in and being talked over with “it’s just a 50 minute unit!”

Husband has waxed lyrical today about how he’s been asked to put in an expression of interest for a tutoring job (he’s a prison officer) and he’s likely to get it, which to be fair, he is. He then spent ages talking to the kids (not his, for clarity) about his day.

I just feel so pissed off. They can’t give me 50 minutes peace to do something that would ultimately benefit the whole family (but of course they’d happily reap the rewards.)

It’s now 7:20pm and I’m in bed and am genuinely considering going into work at 6:30am to get some work done. I’m listening to my 15 and 17 year old scream a conversation at each other bc someone did it on TikTok and that’s obviously SO hilarious and just wondering if my teacher cupboard is big enough for a mattress.

Anyway, TLDR. AIBU for asking for a group of almost adults to shut the fuck up for 50 minutes to let me get on with a course that will benefit us all?

I came home early today, at 5pm, specifically to get this unit done which everyone at home was aware of.

You lost me at being 7.20pm and you being in bed????

What if you sit in x room and have head pones on, and a sign, only disturb in an emergency ?

I’ve been there, OP. Sometimes the only way is to leave the house - quiet pub or Uni library perhaps? You can often get access to local Uni libraries if you’re studying linked to a Uni. Either way you need undisturbed time and can probably only get it away from home.

I moved between several rooms and they followed me. At 7:20, I went upstairs to my bedroom (although I was still followed)

I don't understand how this happened. You were in a room with a door shut and they came in, you then told them to leave you alone and they ignored you?

And you went to bed at 7.20?

YANBU!

Do check out the dimensions of that teacher cupboard.

I’m not at uni, although I have fond memories of my peaceful university library. I just feel ‘badgered’ and it’s frustrating. I can’t seem to find a quiet space to just get on and it’s exhausting.

Yes. And I’m sat in my bedroom at 7:20. With the door shut.

Working for 10 hours non stop is tipping into martyr territory for me. Not quite work life balance.

Make sure you fit some life in now rather than putting everything on hold until some unprotected unspecified future.

@74MyrnaHay

YANBU!

Do check out the dimensions of that teacher cupboard.

I reckon that with a big of jigging about, I can fit a single mattress in there, at an angle.

I’d be cross to. In a quieter moment I’d talk to your husband and kids about needing the time to complete something important or could you stay on at work and maybe do it next time? You shouldn’t have to though, they should be more thoughtful. But I suppose two are teens and thoughtful isn’t always ahead of a TikTok

To be fair 5pm is prime dinner time and getting home time.
Would have made more sense to plan to do after dinner in bedroom like now.
I don't think you should extrapolate too much about their views on your career progression from this one incident.

Nothing martyr about it. I’m pretty lax compared to others.

@Lookingforatimeslip

I’d be cross to. In a quieter moment I’d talk to your husband and kids about needing the time to complete something important or could you stay on at work and maybe do it next time? You shouldn’t have to though, they should be more thoughtful. But I suppose two are teens and thoughtful isn’t always ahead of a TikTok

Nothing is ahead of TikTok but I’m ancient compared to their target audience so apparently I “don’t understand”!

You should not have to leave the house to do this work, your family need to understand the importance of respecting other people.

I would (calmly) be saying to them that you always try to support them in what they do etc and you are asking for a short time this evening to do something that is important to you and why can they not respect that?

If they then continued to be like this, well I would be turning this back on them and at a few key moments not being 'there' so they got the message that mutual respect and understanding is very important in any relationship.

You should take a break of at least 20 minutes in a school to eat, go to the loo, stretch your legs and reset.

YANBU about your evening.

I am self employed and WFH. This is my life!

Would it not be easier to stay and work at school ? Saying that I know from dh that he gets constant interruptions from staff or caretaker when he's trying to work at school !! Next time go to a Starbucks and take your headphones ? I'm currently studying (having a quick MN break) from the sofa with little lunch blaring out on the tv but plug into my music to drown household out

I would be getting in the way of whatever they want to be doing. watching TV? I'm standing in front of it, moving around a bit, chatting about nothing.
incessently chatting in their ears. Poking them, annoying them and i would do it for 30 minutes constantly.
After which i would take myself to McD or Starbucks and not come back until the kids are in bed.
As for DH? nope. Nothing for him. At all. Until I'd finished my qualification. Then we would be having words.

Would you find it easier if instead of coming home at 5 pm to work you just shut yourself in an empty classroom to do it? Tell your family you are working late and they need to have dinner ready for you when you get home (or at least organised a takeaway).

@VerveClique

You should take a break of at least 20 minutes in a school to eat, go to the loo, stretch your legs and reset.

YANBU about your evening.

I am self employed and WFH. This is my life!

You really often don't as a teacher- one of the many reasons I left- dh does 14 hour days and rarely gets time for a hot drink while in school