To feel hurt by my father's reaction to his birthday present?

[daughter58]

When I was in my early 20s my sister and I went halves on an expensive birthday present for my Dad, it wasn't ridiculously expensive, maybe £200-300ish. But it was a lot for us given we were both university students at the time.

My Dad never used the item and has recently bought himself the same thing but a 'better' version.

I brought up that we had bought him one of those already that he never used and he 'joked' that the one we bought was a crap version.

AIBU to never buy him anything ever again?

Oh that's awful 😔 how insensitive.

It sounds like this is one part of a bigger picture, but just to play devil's advocate - it kind of depends on what the present was and how good the product was.

Say, for example, your dad was a brand new Mercedes kind of guy and you two scraped together your pennies to spend £300 on an ancient Fiat... Well, he's not going to use it is he, and he's going to replace his car on his usual schedule.

He should have been more gracious about it, but as an isolated incident, YABU to expect him not to buy a high end product just because you bought him a cheaper version, especially for tech stuff.

He does sound like he can be a bit of a dick though.

I agree, it depends on what the gift was.
If you'd bought him a digital camera but now he's bought DSLR I can sort of see where he would be coming from, ungrateful though it may seem.

Well, he’ll be getting socks and handkerchiefs from now on…

@daughter58

It was a tech kind of present. I feel so upset when I think about my younger sister who did loads of research into it and was so excited to give it to him :(

He has an awful attitude to presents. I remember one year I got him something and as he was unwrapping it he said "this better not be a [what the present was]".

My heart goes out to you op when I read that comment. You and your sister sound lovely and your Dad sounds like an ungrateful swine. Im also sure your present was just fine - sometimes people get a bee in their bonnet over certains brands or whatever...

@JenniferBarkley

It sounds like this is one part of a bigger picture, but just to play devil's advocate - it kind of depends on what the present was and how good the product was.

Say, for example, your dad was a brand new Mercedes kind of guy and you two scraped together your pennies to spend £300 on an ancient Fiat... Well, he's not going to use it is he, and he's going to replace his car on his usual schedule.

He should have been more gracious about it, but as an isolated incident, YABU to expect him not to buy a high end product just because you bought him a cheaper version, especially for tech stuff.

He does sound like he can be a bit of a dick though.

Yes but he didnt have to refer to his present as crap and he could have bought his newer item discreetly, said something like 'ive loved this so much for the past 3 years its really got me into (said tech) so much so that I've bought one that does a bit more'.... or some thing like that

Your dad is a bully. No need for further presents. Grey rock is a useful strategy. Have a look on Google

I wouldn't buy him anything apart from the cheapest crappiest card you can find and put the price sticker smack bang in middle of the card on the front !

I agree with others and definitely would not buy future presents as he is extremely ungrateful and incredibly rude.

If he passes comment in the future then tell him you are not wasting any more of your money or time on him.

I know it's not in the same league as they weren't expensive, but PiL were recently moving house and had laid out a selection of stuff they didn't want, for use for us to peruse and "See if we wanted anything".
Amongst the crap they obviously didn't want were the Christmas presents we and my DD and SiL had given them. We were so hurt as we'd put a lot of thought into them (compared to the shit we usually get from them).

Suffice to say, that's the last they'll be getting from us.

@AngelinaFibres

Your dad is a bully. No need for further presents. Grey rock is a useful strategy. Have a look on Google

Yup. He’s shown you several times now you don’t need to spend your money on him. It’s a bad investment with no return.

@daughter58

It was 3-5 years ago

If it was more like 5 years then technology will have moved on so much I can see why he might have saved to buy himself a "better one" obviously depends what it is. He shouldn't have said yours was crap but you probably shouldn't have asked.