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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to have my photo taken

29 replies

goaskmum · 10/03/2022 16:37

So last week I was awarded employee of the month which I am grateful for and happy about as I have never got it before and I think it’s nice my bosses have clearly acknowledged the fact I’ve gone the extra mile recently.

Anyway, those who get employee of the month usually get their photos taken and it is stuck on the wall in staff room along with the person’s name, it is also posted on the social media pages too.

I lack self esteem and I’m quite self conscious and I generally hate getting my photo taken, I try to avoid it. One of the bosses asked me to get my photo taken and I said no I’d rather not and explained I don’t really enjoy getting photos done.

She said something like “oh that’s a shame, I thought you would have wanted your photo taken, suit yourself then.”

I overheard her and one of my colleagues talking about it in the staff room and she said “yeah, we won’t be giving her employee of the month again because she refused to get her photo taken, she’s very ungrateful” and the other woman said “yeah, that’s weird. It’s all about her.”

They didn’t know I had heard them.

Yeah I’m annoyed about what they were saying, but surely I’m not BU to not want my photo taken?

YABU - yeah you should have just got your photo taken

YANBU - if you didn’t want your photo taken then that’s your own personal choice

OP posts:
Isgooglebroken · 10/03/2022 16:47

I hate having my photo taken. I’m always caught gurning, squinting, eyes screwed up or whatever so that it makes me feel really ugly.

That said, it’s pretty standard for EOTM to have a photo displayed, otherwise how would anyone know who it was? Not everyone in the building knows everyone’s name but would recognise them if they saw a pic. I would probably have just sucked it up tbh, but then I probably wouldn’t have felt confident enough to refuse!

YANBU to not want it taken but I can understand them not understanding your stance on it.

TeaForTiger · 10/03/2022 16:53

I know what you mean, but it's a needs must sometimes at work.

Do you not have a photo that you like and could give them?

Ionlydomassiveones · 10/03/2022 16:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 10/03/2022 17:05

Employee of the month is a load of toss anyway so I wouldn’t care about not getting it again, especially from a company that is so petty.

I’ve refused to have my photo taken for work as I hate it and don’t want it on social media. They’re not happy but I’m within my rights to say no as it counts as personal data.

AngelinaFibres · 10/03/2022 17:27

Does employee of the month get you a bonus, treat, extra half day off. If not it is pointless and a bit like teachers choosing student of the week. Everyone gets it in the end , even if you have to dig deep for a reason.

RampantIvy · 10/03/2022 17:29

They sound jealous.

Betwixtlives · 10/03/2022 17:35

Yabu no one cares what you look like in photos except you

singlepringlenotbychoice · 10/03/2022 17:36

YANBU Did you let them know you'd heard them?

Unless employee of the month gets you something as a reward it's a pointless title.

I absolutely hate getting my picture taken and will do my utmost to avoid it. I'd have declined too. I most definitely would say something to the boss gossiping about you to let them know you'd heard and don't appreciate being spoke about like that.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/03/2022 17:37

I got it and hated having the pic taken. But sometimes you just have to suck these things up.

We get money and treats for EOTM. We also have to have to have photo ID so needed a photo taken for that too.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 10/03/2022 17:39

I mean, YANBU not to like it, but isn't it just part of the job sometimes?

1forAll74 · 10/03/2022 17:53

Other people could just be told that you have won an award if they have to notify this in some way, instead of exhibiting this with a photo of someone. i would hate this. I would also hate the gossiping thicko women who were gossiping about you behind your back. You have to feel sorry for those with no manners.

bellabasset · 10/03/2022 18:14

Yes we had to at work and I don't like it either.

Fl0w3ry · 10/03/2022 18:21

YANBU. I don’t understand why in this strange world we live everyone wants photographic proof of everything. People act like an event didn’t happen if there isn’t a photo to back it up. Their comment that you are making it all about you by not having your photo taken is ridiculous. You were employee of the month, it was meant to be all about you! Therefore, it’s your choice to make, not to have your photo taken.

Original poster
goaskmum · 10/03/2022 20:21

Thanks everyone.

I got a £30 voucher for M&S and a bouquet of flowers.

I thanked them for that and made sure they knew I was grateful but I just didn’t understand why I should be compelled to have my photo taken.

I hate to be a killjoy but I’d hate to have my photo on that wall for the next 4 weeks so that’s why I said no thank you but I’m annoyed they think I’m ungrateful because I didn’t want my photo taken.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 11/03/2022 08:28

It does come across as self centred, a lot of people don't like having their photo taken but just get on with it. I can see why your refusal might get talked about. But you've got what you wanted so I'd forget about it now and enjoy spending your voucher.

MrsMoastyToasty · 11/03/2022 08:31

Does your employer have a policy on staff photos?

I don't appear in any of my employer's social media (we have twitter and Facebook) as I've opted out, ss has one of my colleagues.

GoogleWhacked · 11/03/2022 08:33

I think YABU. I also hate having my photo taken, very self conscious, but for something like this I think you should just get in with it.
Your colleagues are right, you won't be getting EOTM again.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 11/03/2022 08:37

I don't like having my photo taken either but for something like this at work I would have agreed.

DeadWeightLifted · 11/03/2022 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blossomtoes · 11/03/2022 08:44

This is the kind of behaviour that makes staff comms a nightmare. If everyone refused the whole initiative would have to be wound up. I’m not surprised they’re cross with you @goaskmum, I would be too.

Cstring · 11/03/2022 08:44

I don’t blame you, I would find it pretty mortifying. I would refuse because of the social media aspect too. You’d be identifiable on there and some people just don’t want a presence on there, which is their right.

ManateeFair · 11/03/2022 08:50

I don’t like having my photo taken either, but I suck it up and deal with it because I’m an adult and sometimes we all have to do small things that we don’t like.

HoneyItIsntGoodLuck · 11/03/2022 08:50

No-one likes having their photo taken.

Of course, your right to refuse. But you can’t expect it not to be commented on.

beautifullymad · 11/03/2022 08:53

I hate hate hate having my photo taken.

But if there isn't a way easily through this you can take a relaxed picture at home and have it to send whenever it's needed.

Blank background, then it can be used for ID pics too. Good lighting, so face a window. If it's you taking it, aim to take around 20-30 shots in different facial angles and expressions. You can use a selfie stick or a friend with a phone.

It helps to look at the picture after each shot so you know what's working and what's not.

You'll get one that works!

I have a friend who is the same and she found having a glass of wine helped her relax her face enough to get a good picture.

It makes a big difference when you are in control of the picture they are displaying. But I also understand that often these pictures of employee of the month come with an award they want in the picture Hmm

Wonnle · 11/03/2022 08:54

I'd refuse as well , bollocks to what anyone says or thinks !