DP is lazy and it's driving me insane

[csm93]

At the end of my tether.
DP is lazy. Leaves everything at his backside and it is presumed I will tidy up after him. He stays up later than I do, so when I come downstairs in the morning there are food wrappers, plates, glasses; cutlery all left on the sofa. We have a bin, we have a dishwasher.
Random tatty crap laying around the house.
Whenever I raise it with him and ask him to help out more around the house I get the "I cook, I do laundry..." etc chat. I didn't realise that all meant you don't have to do basic cleaning up after yourself!!! I also get a period of silent treatment after I raise stuff like this with him too.
We both work FT. I don't have any extra time on my hands than he does.
And I have tried the whole leave the rubbish laying around and he will eventually pick it up thing, but it doesn't seem to work! More and more just accumulates.
It is driving me mad :(
Just needed to rant x

Don't just rant, kick him up the arse.

If you care enough, then tell him to pay for a cleaner. If not, give him the push. No-one likes living with a lazy dirty person.

When my DH used to act like this I started picking up the random discarded crap and putting it on his gaming chair so he would have to physically move it to do his hobby. Childish but it worked!

Oh yuck. How can anyone fancy a slob?

Don’t have children with this man

It’s very simple, you just hung it all in a black bin bag, the rubbish, the crockery, any clothes he leaves lying round, everything, just put a bag in the corner

Then when he wants point him in the direction of the bag

Ideally leave him

Failing that...
Don't make him a DH.
Don't breed with him.

No point in living with him if you don't have DC together. Could you suggest living apart but staying in a relationship.

I'd personally say that if he doesn't he will have to pay for a cleaner (if your finances can afford it)

I'd pick all up and put it in a bin bag.
When he's looking for something I'd just pint him to the bag.
Everything needs to go in there - clothes, shoes, papers, half full mugss, plates of left over food, Everything

@Moody123

I'd personally say that if he doesn't he will have to pay for a cleaner (if your finances can afford it)

It’s not really a job for a cleaner.

I know I’ll have a slightly different view here but I do think a bit of relaxing might be good. I know, I know, it’s MN and a messy house is considered second only to murder or something but it must get a bit exhausting stressing over it.

I do think the tidy one is not always right and people should be able to relax a bit in their own homes, tbh.

Please tell us you don't have children with this slob?

@StripeyDeckchair

I'd pick all up and put it in a bin bag. When he's looking for something I'd just pint him to the bag. Everything needs to go in there - clothes, shoes, papers, half full mugss, plates of left over food, Everything

I would do this at the very least. No way would I clear up after the filthy manchild beggar.

Actually, no. I'd bin him. 'Helping' is bullshit, he lives in the home too.

He thinks you are his skivvy. That would make my fanny slam shut in a heartbeat. How can you find that attractive? Imagine what it'd be like if you had kids? Will he 'help' you look after them or parent like a proper father?

Aren't you worth more?

Why are you with him?

My husband used to be the same. I used to put the crisps packet/apple core/banana skin in his shoe. The fucker soon got the message

My mum went through this with my dad.
She saved up his crap for a few days, then put it on his side of the bed & made up the bed.
He had a nasty surprise waiting that night when he turned down the covers.
He picked up after himself after that and everyone lived happily ever after.

Don't marry him and don't have kids with this man.

Why is the solution to every problem on this forum, get a cleaner!? Thread about being lazy, so the solution is to pay for someone to clean your house... The irony is great

@Daffodilsbythebrook

There is a difference between mess and dirt. A bit of messiness is fine; houses have stuff in them. That stuff ends up sitting in random places. Fine.
But this is dirt. Dirty, used dishes and empty food wrappers left strewn around behind him. It's dirt and that's just not nice to live around.

I also get a period of silent treatment after I raise stuff like this with him too
Silent treatment is a form of coercive control. He does it to stop you every questioning him again.

Honestly, he is a shit partner. Why stay?