To feel guilty for taking time off ill even though I am genuinely unwell?

[LeedleLee]

Hi all. I was diagnosed with a severe inner ear infection yesterday. I'm on antibiotics but they haven't quite kicked in yet and I'm in absolute agony. I took yesterday off work as there was no way I could function effectively. I did tell my boss I would try and be in today but after spending all night awake in agony again I knew this wouldn't be possible, so took today off too.

My boss was totally fine about it and understanding. I have been in this job for almost a year and this is the first time I've been off ill, so it's not like I'm off sick all the time for the most minor of ailments.

So why do I feel so guilty? We already have somebody on holiday so we're short staffed as it is, and I'm actually due to go on holiday tomorrow until next Wednesday (this time off was booked weeks ago, just my luck I got ill now!), so I'll have only actually been in work two days this week.

I'm not being made to feel bad at all, but I still feel guilty even though I am genuinely unwell and in significant pain. Anyone else feel guilty for taking time off work even if it's genuine?

I always feel guilty taking unplanned time off...I think its just the way our brains are wired, we feel like we're letting our boss/colleagues down but all I can say is that try not to worry about it too much. If you're not well then you're not well. Its good that your boss is understanding as is mine x

Me too. In the space of nine weeks I've lost both parents and my cousin took his own life. I'm mentally at the end of my tether but still worrying about work, impact on colleagues, queue numbers, capability hearings. Work are actually being amazing but I can't help fretting.

What would you say to a friend or colleague in your situation? Probably some version of 'dont be daft, you're clearly ill, that's what sick leave is for, now go and rest and stop fretting'. Then turn all of that kindness back on yourself! And hope you feel better soon

I always feel guilty too. If I start feeling a bit better during the day I think of going in.
I have always been the same and don’t understand the concept of duvet days.

Hope you feel better soon @LeedleLee and really sorry to hear what you are going through @iklboo

@iklboo

Me too. In the space of nine weeks I've lost both parents and my cousin took his own life. I'm mentally at the end of my tether but still worrying about work, impact on colleagues, queue numbers, capability hearings. Work are actually being amazing but I can't help fretting.

Big Hug

Thank you @Sparklingbrook @ISayItLikeItIs 💔

I get this too. But in my job, I mostly have to catch up on work when I’m back in. So it’s just the stress of knowing all the work is backing up and I’ll just have more to do when I’m well.

Couldn’t agree more. I am currently on a week sick leave due to neck pain and also burnout. Keep feeling guilty this whole time but you have to do what you have to do!

I feel exactly the same. I took a week off with Covid just 2 weeks ago and now have another week off with Covid-pneumonia.

I wanted to work from home but the doctor wouldn't allow it and signed me off.

Public sector so one down and the whole team is drowning.

You shouldn't. It's perfectly normal to take time off when you're sick. We need to get out of this mindset that it's not OK. It's really unhealthy.

It's better to stay home and rest and recover, rather than struggling on. That way you get better quicker and will need less sick time after. Do not feel guilty.

I never feel guilty when I need to take sick days. It is what it is.

'Its perfectly normal to take time off when you're sick. We need to get out of this mindset that it's not OK. It's really unhealthy.'

Completely agree. No medals for martyrdom

It’s fine. No one will judge you. Look after yourself.

I’m off work with Covid this week and it’s causing havoc at work (others are down too) so I’m feeling really bad about it, though they are managing without me of course. Still testing positive and still a bit woozy. It’s the first time in my life I’ve been off work with illness and I’m 61 - thought I might go all the way!

YANBU. Illness is a moral failing and shows weakness of character. Unless you are dead you should be at work. (Even if you are dead you should still go in) You owe your workplace your life and soul just as they would to you and would never make you redundant for example.

Unless you are dead you should be at work

While that's a wee bit dramatic there is an element of truth to it. A lot of companies use things like the Bradford Index, too many absences and you are looking at warnings and disciplinaries. Meaning staff struggle in to avoid that.

I think @GreenNewDealNow is being tongue in cheek here (well I bloody hope so).

@iklboo

I think *@GreenNewDealNow* is being tongue in cheek here (well I bloody hope so).

I think so too, and I don't feel that it's that clear cut sadly.

I have a colleague who has had so many entirely unconnected illnesses/injuries over the last year they have already had a warning. They are more than capable of doing the job, but have been very very unlucky and they are so worried should they have to have any more time off.

Yes I am definitely being tongue in cheek! Employers would much rather hire robots, they can't seem to stand humans!

I normally feel guilty but I've had 2 days with coronavirus this week.we are really short staffed and people should be been replaced.I don't feel guilty as I slept 3 days on and off I was so I'll with pains,temperature headache I literally couldn't work.
Guilt serves no purpose so just rest up.

I hear you OP…I’m on sick leave as I have breast cancer and I’m undergoing chemo, and I still feel guilty, like i should be managing better and still working! I have no idea how this gets ingrained into us, it’s ridiculous.

I hope your ear infection clears up soon, earache is horrific.

@iklboo sending you love x

What do managers expect when staffing levels are at the bare minimum?

Be all European about it ! The Germans get diagnosed and then automatically signed off and it's still an efficient country etc.

For example one of my German colleagues was ill with an infection and got signed off for a week immediately by the doc. It doesn't make you weak to look after yourself.

You only have your health - it's the most important thing you'll ever have. Once that's gone, everything is hard. Look after it and look after your mind too, so stop with the guilt. You can be sorry, but you should not feel guilty.

YABU