Is it my fault my son has a speech delay?

[butterfly5556]

I know there are bigger things going on in the world right now, but I'm worried and need to vent.

My little one is 2.5, and I can’t help but feel guilty that his speech is ‘behind’ - he does say lots of different words, lots of different sounds etc. Some words are very big words, and he has begun to join them together and make small sentences but it’s not all the time. It’s hard not to compare his development when lots of other toddlers his age or younger are speaking so much more fluently. I have spoken to the HV myself and she gave me a number to ring to be signposted. Rang speech and language and they have put us on the waiting list for the initial assessment to see if he even needs speech therapy. I’ve also rang ICAN which was recommended by my HV whilst I wait, and I’ve got a call next week with a speech therapist for half an hour. It’s a free 30 minute consultation to establish if he needs therapy, I presume the consultation would lead to me paying privately for the therapy they offer. It will be nice to have some clarity from a professional whilst we wait on the NHS I suppose. I wish I was in the position to afford assessments/therapies privately but it’s just not feasible. I’m trying everything I can but feel like I’ve failed him. He was 6 months old when the world went into lockdown, so we didn’t get out much to socialise. Before lockdown we went to baby groups and he saw other kids etc. As it loosened up we went back but I’m worried incase those vital learning months I’ve stunted him by being trapped in the house with me, we did have lots of days where we would watch tv because there was just nothing to do, of course we did other things together but now I’m constantly thinking back and saying to myself did I play with him enough, did I read enough to him?

He attends nursery one day a week which we pay for (it's all we can afford) as we don't get any financial help - he has done since he was 1.5, he loves it and I don't think the nursery have any concerns. When he is 3 he'll get 30 free hours so he can go for 3 days which I think will help him, I'm hoping his speech will be much improved by then as it's over 6 months away.

Opinions would be great.

will say, brace yourself to be patronised left right and centre. If one more person had smugly said "oh my child has a great vocabulary because I read to them" I might have twatted them. Also a lot of the initial support from NHS speech and language (if you're lucky enough to see them) is aimed at children with language delays as a result of coming from families where they genuinely weren't stimulated, read to or spoken with. So you have to get past that with gritted teeth.

Oh yeah, ambushedbycake I remember this very well.
First kid at his 2 year review: "Oh dear. He's very behind. Did you know you're supposed to talk to him?"
Second kid at her 2 year review: "She's very advanced. You're doing an excellent job"

I did the same for both kids . I'm relaxed but not not the point of neglect!

If it's any comfort DS1 started nursery at 3 around where your child is now (limited vocab. Two word sentences) and was talking normally a few weeks later. He's 9 now and doesn't shut up.

DS1 started talking at the right time but was slipping behind at 2.5 to low end of average. By 3.5 he had slipped enough to get intervention.

It turned out 5+ years later to be "High Functioning" Autism (and he's doing pretty well with life) I say that not to alarm or attempt to diagnose in anyway (lots and lots of other reasons avaliable), it's just the way he is. I did all the "right" things, reading, toddler groups, chatting inanely around the supermarket, building up the sentences. It probably did a lot of good and he clearly understood what was going on in the world, but it was never going to stop him slipping behind.

Children can slip behind because of parenting, but it takes a lot of ignoring and lack of stimulation and even though circumstances have been harder in the past two years, that's not whats happening here.

Get his hearing tested properly by NHS ENT