To ask you for your best break up tips?

[ohhellomoto14]

Hi, I'm a 28 year old who had been very stupid, and unfortunately doesn't have her mum around anymore to tell her off, so I'm turning to mumsnet.

I broke up with my ex two years ago early 2020, but ever since our break up we've spoken daily and have been sleeping together on average once a month. No commitment, I'm a fool. I think in my warped imagination, he would turn around one day and come back or it meant he loved me, not sure.

Now it transpires that he's actually seeing someone else, and i've been completely ghosted and despite my idiocy it really hurts. I feel like my heart is in my throat, nervous, can't sleep, can't eat and can barely function at work.

I guess my question is, how do I get through this- and stop feeling like life is over. In the past 2 years, my friends have had babies, some have got married, and I feel like i've just wasted time.

I guess I just need some mumsy advice on how the fuck to stop feeling like i want to die.

Thank you.

1. block him

2. put on a great breakup playlist

3. Get a piece of paper, make 3 columns,
   Things you actually like/miss about him
   Things you miss about having someone to kiss/shag/text
   Things he did that made you cry/get angry

Whenever you think of something in the first column, check it isn't just the 2nd column. And reread the 3rd column.

4. write a list of all the things you want to do before you're 30/get married/have babies and start doing those things.

and 5) get some counselling/therapy.

To be as kind as possible, this isn't healthy at all. To prolong a situation which is this damaging to your self-esteem is pretty masochistic. One or two lapses are understandable but fact that you have known its over for two years and have gone back again and again is quite worrying.

I think you need to get help learning to value yourself more and to know where to draw boundaries.