Name change but regular.
My son's dad and I separated and divorced two years ago. He has him two nights a week and all day on a Saturday. Our son has additional needs and has gone through an awful lot since starting school in September, he is now 5.
At the end of last year DS disclosed to his school that his dad had hurt him. The school passed this info to me and asked me what I wanted to do about it. I told them it surely wasn't my decision to make and that they should follow their own safeguarding procedures.
As such, both ex and I have been assessed by a child protection social worker. It was determined that if ex had hurt DS it wasn't intentional but possibly by restraining him when my son wasn't able to regulate himself. I agree with this - I don't think it was done intentionally.
SW has been assessing us independently, with one visit to his dad and several to me and DS, and proposed a Child in Need plan to help my son access further support. I agreed to this.
As part of ex's assessment he told SW that my communication was poor, I withheld important information from him and that I was aggressive when he didn't "fall in line". I told the SW that I constantly provide ex with relevant updates, try to include him on important decision making but get told "I've no idea, you sort it, you've got this!" if I'm lucky enough to get a response at all.
First CiN meeting was today, and ex didn't attend. According to SW he has tried contacting him several times ansnhad no response. School verified that this is their experience- he complained to school that he wasn't being kept updated on important things, and then they've tried to engage him to discuss it and he has gone AWOL. He told the school he had no idea our son was even going through the EHCP process, so I sent the school screenshots of the numerous times I have told my ex about this.
But yeah, he didn't attend today. And what irked me most is that the SW made excuses for him to who will be our new SW, saying "he is a very busy man, working full time in the city". I had to bite my tongue to stop from saying he is working an entry level job and the meeting was scheduled for lunch time, and that I managed to pull myself away from my senior management role in the civil service for long enough to engage in an important meeting about my son WHILST MY SON WAS AT HOME WITH ME TOO. He literally doesn't go to school two days a week cos he and the school can't cope. So I'm working and looking after my child (work are aware) whilst he yet again shirks his responsibilities and has excuses made for him. Despite the fact this whole mess was triggered by his inability to remain calm and controlled when our son has a meltdown.
I don't know what I want from this thread but just to vent. He had the audacity to complain about my communications when he just ignores everything important about our son. He has never taken him to speech therapy, to the paediatrician, to any doctor appointments for other medical issues, doesn't do school runs, no engagement with therapies or EHCP, and hasn't ever been visited by SW with our son there. I'm fed up of him.