Please help me manage war anxiety

[Butteryflakycrust83]

I am really struggling to manage my anxiety with the Ukraine situation.

My biggest fear is something happening and not being with my daughter who is at nursery about an hour away from where I work. I have intrusive thoughts about what would happen to her if the nursery workers abandoned the building.

I try and 'manage' these thoughts by looking at how quickly I could get to her, to the point I have downloaded all of the e-scooter and electric bike apps and memorised the route.

I am mostly logical, I know its unlikely and I am old enough to remember threats to our safety before, but having DD has added a new spicy edge to my anxious thoughts!

Can someone please offer me some practical logical advice on how to manage these thoughts?

I can't comment on the war situation, but as someone who works in a nursery, I promise we will never abandon your child. The children are very important to us and we will keep them as safe and as calm as we can, in whatever situation. Please don't worry about that.

Being brutally honest, I was seriously considering suicide over all of this.

What has helped... avoid the news. If you feel the need to keep yourself informed, the kid's newsround wont be graphic or scaremongering.
Switch off any news alerts on your phone, if you FB then keep hiding posts with any mention of the war. You will eventually see less and less.
Donate to a charity of your choice if you feel the need to do something.
Remember we are now bombarded with news, speculations and opinions 24/7. Our brains can't cope with that. Remember, not all of it is fact.... a lot is attention grabbing headlines to get you to read, and that applies to MN too. Switch off, and get outside.

@XenoBitch I saw your post on another thread (I recognise your username from the covid threads) and really hope you're doing a bit better now.

OP you've had some good advice already so I won't repeat it, but I will say I personally find checking the BBC headlines once or twice a day more helpful than avoiding the news completely, as it keeps me grounded in what's actually happening right now instead of letting my mind run away with made up worst case 'what if' scenarios. YMMV though

Yeh I mean I don't have kids yet and it's seriously making me rethink bringing them into a world so terrible. I'm kinda relieved I don't have to personally worry about any little ones safety right now. Everything's gone out the window now regarding thinking kids will be living in a safer world in the 21st century. Sorry that doesn't really help does it. Not much you can do about it as it's the reality of life so why worry about what might happen.

Thanks, @psychomath. Funny how the Covid board is all but tumbleweeds now. I think I am ok now... up and down, up and down, but that is normal for me!

My anxiety was through the sodding roof, I spoke to my amazing gp. I have some propanlol incase I need them, only had to take one so far.

I have limited news, once in the morning that's it for me.

I have been careful what I decide to read online and I decided to read more books, escapism, play more games with the kids, eat more cake, indulge myself a bit.more , go to bed earlier etc and I'm in a lot better place now.
Hugs xxx

I have been exactly like you. I've got a headache constantly due to being so anxious.

This is one thing that covid has helped me with - managing anxiety about the Ukrainian crisis.

I drove myself crazy at the height of covid, constantly checking the news, the covid board, checking the news again. This time I refuse to do it.
I limit myself to a daily 10 min read of the news (much like we would have looked at a newspaper in the olden days) and then I’ve put it to the back of my mind until tomorrow.

I can’t control it, I’m not going to worry about it. I keep myself grounded in what’s happening in my life today.

You’ve had some great reassuring advice here, I hope you’re feeling better soon

@Mybumlooksbig

My anxiety was through the sodding roof, I spoke to my amazing gp. I have some propanlol incase I need them, only had to take one so far.

I have limited news, once in the morning that's it for me.

I have been careful what I decide to read online and I decided to read more books, escapism, play more games with the kids, eat more cake, indulge myself a bit.more , go to bed earlier etc and I'm in a lot better place now.
Hugs xxx

How did you word things to your GP? I know I need to see mine, but not sure what to say and am worried I would be dismissed as "everyone is worried" sort of thing.

Some steps:

• stop watching 24 hours news channels
• stood watching all TV news, except maybe a 6pm (pre-watershed) bulletin
• get news from a newspaper
• turn off any 'breaking news' notifications

And consider adding your voice to the thread about whether MN should have a War in Ukraine topic (like the BBC has) so that threadsa re brigades into one place. You can then hide it, so you don't get sucked in to opening a thread from active or in another topic, and opinstead can navigate in only when you want to, maybe no more than once a day, if you want to catch up on any threads

How is everyone feeling now? My anxiety has been horrific, I’m well aware it could be worse and I could be in Ukraine right now before people say I’m selfish, I have donated and have sent supplies ect, but I’m really struggling day to day or nuclear war fears! Does anyone know anything I can do help?

Hi OP, sorry you’re feeling anxious. It’s normal to feel worried and run through scenarios to protect our children from potential threats. Large or small. I do this too.

With intrusive thoughts, I’ve found it best not to try and block them out. Just notice they are there (oh, it’s you again). Then decide if it’s helping you in any way (is it a brand new thought? Critical information? Something urgent that you can address?). If not helping you, then you can ask it to wait as it’s not useful and you’ve already examined it.

Give yourself a short time every now and then to do some properly indulged worrying. Then go back to making the worry wait for your attention.