I've been having therapy a good few months now and things are starting to click into place. I realise, although I was very well looked after by my parents, they did not show me any love, they didn't tell me anything good about myself, my self esteem was none existent though it is slowly creeping up now thankfully.
I spent my childhood trying to please my parents in order to gain some sort of positive attention from then - my dad especially which is why I am not automatically such a people pleaser.
I've accepted the relationship I have with my dad is never what I once was hoping it would be. I used to to think that whatever my dad said was right, his opinion, his answer to everything. Now I realise it's all a lot of bollocks.
He had an affair 10 years ago which just destroyed us all even more but I just forgave him and was pressured into meeting the OW when I really didn't want too. I always remember telling him I was scared of losing him and he told me I would unless I met her. So I did.
All of a sudden I feel anger towards him. I love him, he's my dad but I'm done trying to please him.
I'm supposed to meet him for lunch this week - first time in a few months where I will have actually spent proper time with him and I really don't feel like going.
I just wondered if anyone else had gone through similar in therapy? Where something just 'clicks' but it means you just need to distance yourself from someone?
Sorry if I'm not making sense, therapy was a heavy one this morning x