After our parent died, there was some haste to clear their belongings from the family home.
Something exceedingly sentimental and emotionally valuable of mine was inadvertently sent to the charity shop with other items.
It's irreplaceable and as soon as I realised it was missing, I checked with the shop, and no staff member has any idea of its whereabouts now.
So I've made my peace with its loss and am trying not to dwell on the situation.
I have vowed that am not going to mention it to the person who cleared it out, ever, as they will be devastated.
To me, there is no value mentioning it to them as it will only cause hurt and it won't bring the item back.
Dsis thinks I should address the issue, because I am upset. It's an ongoing topic of conversation between us, and she won't move on.
She has a sense that there's an injustice that's gone on here and it needs a "showdown" (nothing dramatic, just a chat between parties - but I really can't think of a better word, apologies). I wish she'd just move on, being unaffected by it except for knowing of my loss avd subsequent emotions.
YANBU - you're right, there's no benefit to speaking to person who decluttered.
YABU - DSis is correct, let your anguish be known.