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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be at my wits end?!

3 replies

DinosaurPantz · 07/03/2022 16:48

Put here for traffic really, I have a 3 year old son who is a really chilled out, relaxed kid in all other aspects of life, except the morning routine on a nursery day.

If he doesn’t want his breakfast, he will scream, at the top of his lungs, at 7am.
Doesn’t want to get dressed? One man screaming choir. Doesn’t want to put on his shoes? I’m dodging kicks. Doesn’t want to walk to the bus stop (which is 3 minutes up the road), I have to carry him near enough upside down while he screams the whole way there. At the bus stop, it’s the same, having to hold him so he doesn’t hurt himself while he screams. He will then scream for the bus journey.

Once we get to nursery, a switch is flipped and he’s a different child, he loves it! He was fine before when he did half days, but since starting full time hours (He’s there half 8 until 5) it’s a battle in the morning and I find myself anxious the whole night before and in tears in the morning. I’m feeling like a really weak parent, I work in the week and I’m understanding seperation anxiety and if he absolutely hated nursery itself I’d consider differently but I can’t not work my hours because of a 40 minute tantrum every morning. It’s been 2 months of this.

Currently we’re trying a sticker chart for his behavior in the morning, but it really is setting off my anxiety attacks and I’m avoiding the whole thing by getting taxi’s there every morning, which adds up and then makes bus journeys even harder. Is this a phase? How long did anyone else’s toddler have this phase? I’m lost on how to help him with it Sad

OP posts:
malificent7 · 07/03/2022 16:54

Sounds like he dosn't want to go to nursery but I would persevere with it. Sorry i cant b much help.

DinosaurPantz · 07/03/2022 16:59

@malificent7

Sounds like he dosn't want to go to nursery but I would persevere with it. Sorry i cant b much help.
That was my initial thinking but the second we get there he’s fine and runs up to the door! It’s so confusing and upsetting, I half think it’s because he can feel my own anxiety. Thank you anyway.
OP posts:
HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 07/03/2022 17:04

At about that age DD would have similar meltdowns.

It helped us to have a clear routine and to stick to it, also to refer to it regularly.

So:

  • get up, downstairs and watch some CBeebies

"Mummy's going to make breakfast now, breakfast will be toast and scrambled egg"

  • give her breakfast

"Eat up your breakfast, in 15 minutes we'll be getting washed and dressed"

"Ok, in 5 minutes we'll be getting washed and dressed, finish up your breakfast please"

  • take away breakfast and start the dressing bit

"This is a great shirt, you'll be nice and warm while playing at nursery. It's 7.45 now, when you're dressed we'll go downstairs and you can watch more CBeebies till the little hand is on the 8 and the big hand on the 3, then you will get your shoes and coat on and we'll go to nursery."

If she got dressed then she got to watch telly, I did 5 minutely count downs till it was time to put shoes on. If she didn't get dressed then we still got ready to leave at 8.15, she was just in her PJs when we left the house. Only had to do it once, but she did get dropped at nursery in her PJs with a bag of clothes to change into.

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