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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking friend to pay for ticket AIBU?

23 replies

Sarah1850 · 07/03/2022 12:52

I had arranged to go and see a show with friends, I bought the tickets a while ago and asked them to transfer their share to me. They didn’t when I purchased them but I thought ‘oh well I’m sure they’ll send it nearer to the time’.

I was unwell so couldn’t make it to the show, I emailed the tickets to them and said feel free to give my ticket away.

This weekend they still hadn’t sent the money for their tickets so I sent a polite message asking them to send the money to which they replied they didn’t go to the show as they didn’t really fancy it and were only coming because I seemed so keen.

It’s not a lot of money but I kind of think they said they wanted to come so should pay their share and maybe if they’d have paid they’d have been more inclined to go?

AIBU to reply and say that I’d like them to send the money for their tickets?

OP posts:
DailyMailHater · 07/03/2022 12:54

I assume they agreed to pay for the tickets when you said you would purchase them..in that case they need to honour that.

Arabellla · 07/03/2022 12:54

YANBU but you can only ask her to pay for her seat, not yours.

Why do you think she should pay for your ticket?

Are you sure she didn't go?

HereComesSpringAgain · 07/03/2022 12:54

i'd leave it...and drop them as friends i think!

ApolloandDaphne · 07/03/2022 12:57

I would message back that you are not expecting them to pay for your ticket but that they have an obligation to pay for theirs. If they refuse then I would not continue any sort of friendship with them.

NoSquirrels · 07/03/2022 12:58

I think the lesson you learn here is to get the money before buying the tickets.

Yes, they should pay you if they agreed to. But you dropped out first so it’s hard to insist . I’d chalk this up to experience and learn for the future.

Shoxfordian · 07/03/2022 12:58

Yanbu, they should still pay you

Original poster
Sarah1850 · 07/03/2022 13:00

@Arabellla
It was three girlfriends that decided not to go, I certainly don’t expect them to pay for my ticket. I’d bought 4 tickets in total

OP posts:
Arabellla · 07/03/2022 13:03

Ah, sorry. They are not friends, friends don't treat friends this way.

Send them a firm email telling them to transfer the email today and then don't do them a favour ever again.

girlmom21 · 07/03/2022 13:03

They agreed to go to the show. They agreed to pay for it. Whether they went or not they owe you for the tickets.

UnsuitableHat · 07/03/2022 13:07

Yes ask them for the ticket money. Also, don’t do this again!

IsDaveThere · 07/03/2022 13:11

I bought the tickets a while ago and asked them to transfer their share to me. They didn’t when I purchased them but I thought ‘oh well I’m sure they’ll send it nearer to the time’.

That was your mistake right there. You should have pushed for your money before you decided you couldn't go.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/03/2022 13:21

YANBU
That is really rude.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 07/03/2022 13:30

Just reply saying 'that's a shame none of us got to go, anyway here are my bank details so you can send your share'

What a cheek! Did all 3 other friends say this? Have none of them paid?

Amethystbluexo · 07/03/2022 13:32

YANBU. I had a friend pull this on me lately, I decided to book it all (going a weekend away) she’s like yeah fine I’ll bank transfer you the money… it’s a been a week Confused asked her multiple times to send the money and she’s like yeah I’ll send it in abit. I’m not going to see this money am I Hmm cheeky fuckers!

SamphiretheStickerist · 07/03/2022 13:41

to which they replied they didn’t go to the show as they didn’t really fancy it and were only coming because I seemed so keen.

And you of course replied "That of course explains why you have left me with the bill for all 4 tickets. Thank you. very much"

And then never do anything so stupid/generous again

Evoll671 · 07/03/2022 13:43

Of course they should still pay for their tickets.

Greyarea12 · 07/03/2022 14:04

Yes I think you should ask her to pay for her ticket.

I have a friend like this. If I ask her to do anything she doesn't offer the money to pay for her share. I then have to text her, sometimes on 3 separate occasions, asking for her money for her ticket. It's embarrassing (for her). I am at a point where I don't want to ask her to do anything because i have to chase her for the money.

helenshair · 07/03/2022 14:39

That is so cheeky and totally not reasonable to think she can agree to you buying the tickets and then change her mind and not pay. I'd definitely email again: "Sorry, but I bought the tickets on the understanding that you would pay me back for yours. It's a shame you decided not to go, but you still owe me £x. Here's my bank details."

Sparticuscaticus · 07/03/2022 15:11

That's really CF

You bought 4 tickets on basis that each asked you to get tickets and we're paying for themselves. They each owe you for their tickets. How much were they? If they were £2 I'd be annoyed but let it go or take it off what I'd owe them when they pay for something for me. But if it was £10 or over, I'd be insistent that they paid for what they owe and annoyed if they didn't . It's irrelevant whether they went or not.

You need to get Splitwise app for all your phones- it's brilliant in these kind of situations

You can use it with anyone that has it and it's perfect for groups of friends. All the uni students use it and my 19 year old son uses it with me.

Celoo · 07/03/2022 15:16

I have been the friend in this situation - agreed to go to a show another friend wanted to see but I wasn't really arsed. She changed her mind so tried to sell the tickets on but couldn't so I stumped up for my half and neither of us went. If your friends agreed to come knowing they would be expected to pay then they should pay regardless.

incognitoforthisone · 08/03/2022 09:16

I assume they did say they would pay for the tickets when you all agreed you'd go? And I find it really odd that not just one but three friends all said they would go to a show with you that they didn't actually want to see.

MischievousBiscuits · 08/03/2022 09:46

I don't know that I'd drop them as friends but I certainly wouldn't be paying for any tickets/days out again.

Amnotamug · 08/03/2022 09:52

It was their choice not to go so they should definitely give you the money! Also ….did they definitely NOT go ?!

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