Annoying audience members in the theatre

[beverleybass]

Does anybody else ALWAYS seem to have seats right by the worst people in the theatre. I must just be unlucky.

This year saw Come From Away and was directly behind 3 women who kept chatting all the way through, including during really emotional and key moments and solos. Someone tapped them on the shoulder and told them to shush in the end which improved things slightly.

I also saw Cinderella and more chatters as well phones coming out constantly with their shining lights.

What is the point spending all that money on tickets to look at your phone or chat to people??

Anyway saw Mamma Mia as a birthday treat today and it was honestly the worst of the lot. People on my row playing musical chairs, people arriving up to fifteen mins late (and still being let in) the man to the left of me kept singing along with the songs, the people in front chatting and constantly zipping/unzipping bags and rustling noisy bags of snacks.

How hard is it to sit still and be quiet

Yep it's put me off going. Last time I went to the cinema,I had some guy put his feet up on my headrest 😡😡

People who fail to see how their behaviour is inconsiderate and selfish are either too dim to be allowed out unsupervised or simply selfish cockwombles. If you have to be told not to act like a selfish idiot perhaps you should reconsider your behaviour generally.

Nobody wants to see bright lights in a dark room when they’re concentrating on a performance

Nobody wants to hear you singing or chatting shit to your mate when they’ve paid a fortune to hear the professionals perform

Nobody wants to have to repeatedly have people squeeze past them because they couldn’t be bothered arriving on time/going to the loo before they sat down/waiting til the interval etc

If you want to sing along to a musical then sing along to the soundtrack at home or go to a specific sing along performance.

Whats the rush to castigate strangers instead of using a polite request. Heres an example

"Would you mind not using the light on your watch please? Its a bit distracting".

There you are. Not dim, not rude, no hissing or shouting or ranting involved. No need for aggression or name calling at all.

Rest assured, that I've always spoken politely to people and phrased it diplomatically. It's not stopped people swearing at me, saying, "No one else is objecting/has a problem" or threatening physical violence. I've had people wait for me in a lobby and surround all 47kg of me.

By and large, I've come to accept that a number of the people who are that indifferent to the impact of their behaviour on other members of the audience are the ones most likely to respond that way. We all have a different tipping point as to the risk of encountering people like that and having an expensive outing marred.

@CognitiveDissolver

DameHelena The watch light though: not acceptable. I would have hissed at you to turn it off. And no I am not in Morningside and I don't confuse the cinema with the royal box at the opera. People are sitting in a dark room wanting and hoping to be immersed in the film. A bright light (even if only 'a few times'/'for seconds'/'a habit') is distracting and jarring. It's very basic common sense. If you don't see that, then you (and/or your friend with the watch) are either quite dim, or you just don't give a shit about other people.

I am neither, and neither is my friend. How rude. Whats the rush to castigate strangers instead of using a polite request. Heres an example

"Would you mind not using the light on your watch please? Its a bit distracting".

There you are. Not dim, not rude, no hissing or shouting or ranting involved. No need for aggression or name calling at all.

Well, you seem to think it's OK to flash a watch light in a darkened room with an audience.

And if you were 'nervous' about 'setting off' the woman who objected, the simple solution was not to let the watch flash again so she had nothing to tell you off about. It's a bit that this might not have occurred to you or your friend.

And I didn't say I'd 'rant'. I'd hiss (as opposed to shout) 'turn it off please!', in the interests of keeping the volume down and not disturbing people any further.

I've only had this experience once at Disney on Ice. There were 2 families sitting in front of us both had mum, dad and 4 kids and every single kid was taken out one at a time during the performance and then one of the dad's got a phone call and he went out. Plus the kids kept changing seats too.
I thought it was ridiculous. The tickets weren't cheap.

This is why I stopped going to gigs. I didnt pay money to stand in front of people having a conversation for an hour.

I think people have lost the ability to concentrate to be honest. We are glued to devices and dont know how to just let our mind wander. There was a depressing advert in the cinema last year about it.

We got a disruptive person thrown out of the theatre a few years ago.

I’m in a wheelchair. That particular theatre only has a small number of wheelchair spaces in the very back row.

A group of women were in front of us, possibly a hen do. They were drinking wine and one kept standing up to grab the bottle, going on her phone and generally being annoying. An usher tried to get her to put her phone away.

In the interval I tried to ask her to stay sitting down and the person sitting next to me (a wheelchair user I didn’t know) backed me up. She claimed it was part of the experience and we shouldn’t have chosen to sit at the back.

An usher came over to ask if we wanted drinks (no wheelchair access to the bar) and I complained. Pointed out I hadn’t had a choice where to sit and wouldn’t have sat there if I had. They got the manager who took her out to speak to and came back. They apologised and told me she’d “chosen to leave”.

The usher came back at the end of the show and admitted off the record the woman had been really rude to manager and asked to leave.

I don't blame ushers for not intervening when people are that aggressive

Seriously this is such a cop out. Theatres need to do more instead of shrugging their shoulders. It just seems to be acceptable now for people to spoil the enjoyment of others. If ushers don't feel comfortable calling out people who are talking or using their phones, then they're not fit for the job.

Clamp down hard. No more excuses.

@WouldIwasShookspeared

I wish theatres would do a "silence" showing. Where you aren't allowed to chatter, eat, browse your phone etc and it is enforced and if you choose that showing it is made very clear that that is what you have picked, what it means and that you will be ejected with no refund if you break the rules.

No! Worst idea ever. This makes it ok to talk and use your phone in other performances. EVERY performance should be silent. We need to change our thinking on this and make it as unacceptable as smoking indoors. Theatres need to step up. Pathetic.

I’m baffled by those stating, even on here, that’s it’s ok to sing along at musicals. It’s not. It’s not karaoke. People have paid to listen to professional trained singers.

Completely agree with you op.......... except for singing along to songs in a musical. Musicals are for singing!

@Wafflesnsniffles no they are not! You sound like one of the inconsiderate people we are all complaining about. Do you really think people who have paid a lot of money for tickets really want to hear audience members singing?? Have a word with yourself.

@bendmeoverbackwards

Completely agree with you op.......... except for singing along to songs in a musical. Musicals are for singing!

@Wafflesnsniffles no they are not! You sound like one of the inconsiderate people we are all complaining about. Do you really think people who have paid a lot of money for tickets really want to hear audience members singing?? Have a word with yourself.

Exactly. What's the point in paying top dollar to have the best actors/singers on stage when you're just going to sing along so you can't hear them. They may as well not bother and just employ club singers at much lower wages.

I go to the theatre a lot. I do think it depends what you are seeing and where. I do think West End play behaviour is worse than, say, the Bath Theatre Royal. Sorry to be a snob. Having said that I was told off once for rustling crisps in an opera. I felt suitably mortified. At the time I mainly went to kids shows and briefly forgot my theatre etiquette

I have given up on theatre performances. It used to be an annual Christmas treat but it just isn't worth it. I took DD to a musical theatre performance about 5 years ago. The sound quality was so poor you couldn't hear a single word of the songs, just noise.
I have RA and the last time I went to a show the seats were so uncomfortable I was in severe pain by the half way mark. It is a shame because I love live performances but it is just a waste of money.

I once had to tell someone it was the last time I was moving to let her out, if she genuinely needed to go out four times during the first half she should have booked an end seat. I'd booked an end seat for mobility reasons, I appreciate I'll have to move at some point but four times for one person in one act is unreasonable.

There's hopefully a special place in hell for people who kick the back of my seat or let their dc do it and pretend not to notice.

DameHelena Well, you seem to think it's OK to flash a watch light in a darkened room with an audience.

And if you were 'nervous' about 'setting off' the woman who objected, the simple solution was not to let the watch flash again so she had nothing to tell you off about. It's a bit hmm that this might not have occurred to you or your friend.

It wasn't my watch and I do not control my friend's arm movements.. It was so discrete that I didn't notice it. There was no "flashing", she merely looked at it a few times, and I only know that because she told me. She also told me that she had it covered with her hand.

Shouting woman would not have known that I was with my friend, as she arrived and sat down later than us in a packed cinema. I was sitting on the other side of my friend. Shouting woman shouted so loudly and went on for so long that it did give me a fright and it spoiled my enjoyment of the film.

I did wait until the end of the film when people were leaving to tell her this, rather than shout it out in the middle of the film.

In what world is shouting in a cinema better than a brief flash of light from a watch? I missed an entire conversation between the lead characters as I couldn't hear it. How long do you think a watch stays lit up for? Its equivalent to a phone light.

And no, I don't lecture my friends on their behaviour before they do into cinemas. Most people seem to cope with little things like that and save their angst for really annoying behaviour. Like shouting.

And I didn't say I'd 'rant'. I'd hiss (as opposed to shout) 'turn it off please!', in the interests of keeping the volume down and not disturbing people any further.

Well, please don't hiss around me either. Try whispering or talking quietly. I can barely remember, but what was shouted was in a loud booming voice and was at least 3 sentences in length.

To be honest, if people can't cope with someone occasionally looking at their watch, perhaps a public cinema is not the place to go.

Its not equivalent to a phone light.

To be fair, I’ve never experienced any of the behaviour mentioned here at a theatre. I go reasonably frequently- mainly to see dance or drama. I’ve seen quite a few musicals, but none in recent years, and the behaviour was fine there too. Maybe it’s a recent thing in regards to musicals.

My local small theatre sells the sweets in little tubs rather than packets which makes a lot more sense!

At the beginning of mamma Mia a voice announcement said not to sing along to the songs and wait for the bit at the end where singing/dancing was encouraged.

@CognitiveDissolver

DameHelena Well, you seem to think it's OK to flash a watch light in a darkened room with an audience.

And if you were 'nervous' about 'setting off' the woman who objected, the simple solution was not to let the watch flash again so she had nothing to tell you off about. It's a bit hmm that this might not have occurred to you or your friend.

It wasn't my watch and I do not control my friend's arm movements.. It was so discrete that I didn't notice it. There was no "flashing", she merely looked at it a few times, and I only know that because she told me. She also told me that she had it covered with her hand.

Shouting woman would not have known that I was with my friend, as she arrived and sat down later than us in a packed cinema. I was sitting on the other side of my friend. Shouting woman shouted so loudly and went on for so long that it did give me a fright and it spoiled my enjoyment of the film.

I did wait until the end of the film when people were leaving to tell her this, rather than shout it out in the middle of the film.

In what world is shouting in a cinema better than a brief flash of light from a watch? I missed an entire conversation between the lead characters as I couldn't hear it. How long do you think a watch stays lit up for? Its equivalent to a phone light.

And no, I don't lecture my friends on their behaviour before they do into cinemas. Most people seem to cope with little things like that and save their angst for really annoying behaviour. Like shouting.

And I didn't say I'd 'rant'. I'd hiss (as opposed to shout) 'turn it off please!', in the interests of keeping the volume down and not disturbing people any further.

Well, please don't hiss around me either. Try whispering or talking quietly. I can barely remember, but what was shouted was in a loud booming voice and was at least 3 sentences in length.

To be honest, if people can't cope with someone occasionally looking at their watch, perhaps a public cinema is not the place to go.

I'm using the general 'you', not specifically talking about you or your friend. Convenient that she's now 'had it covered with her hand' when before your only comment on this aspect was that you barely notice as it's just a habit of hers.

I know how long a watch stays lit up for. My DP has one (btw he doesn't feel the need to look at it in the cinema).

If you (the general you/you personally/your friend/whoever) uses a phone or watch light, talks etc in the cinema, I will not stop hissing (which I actually think is the same as 'whispering', as in a carrying whisper) to ask you to stop.

To be honest, if people can't cope with someone occasionally looking at their watch, perhaps a public cinema is not the place to go.
No, you've got that the wrong way round. If you're so important or pressed for time that you can't go a couple of hours without looking at devices, what are you doing at the cinema.
And 'public' in the context of a dark quiet cinema is obviously not the same as 'public' in the context of something like a park or a pub, so no point trying to conflate them to suit your argument.

Absolutely. No one should be looking at any sort of light-up device at a theatre or cinema, even for a few seconds. By all means, look at a normal watch if you can see it in the dark, or wait for a bright bit on stage if you need more light, if you really, really need to know the time.

I agree it's annoying op. We went to see a show on Saturday and DS was not happy at all the people chatting- and one bloke behind us sounded as though he was opening a box of washing power pods! You know the type with a complicated box where you squeeze and it both ends and then flip the lid up. It made such an awful squeaky sounds and he kept doing it!

Thats so strict. I will desist from going to the cinema with a friend who might look at their watch in future.

My friend isn't from the UK, so perhaps she missed the memo about how rigid the rules are here.

I'm often disturbed by people rustling, accidentally kicking the back of my chair, squeezing past late to their seats, laughing loudly and so on but I just take it as part and parcel of being in a public place.

I do admit that I really hate shouting in public though. I absolutely loathe it when people feel that they have no other way to make their point known other than to shout and that they are so self- important that they think its justified.

Not just theatres - concerts too. We had people getting the whole asile up during Bon Jovi and Dolly Parton - we'd paid £100 per ticket! Why miss it to get another beer - and then you inevitably need the loo!!

I doubt if this friend is looking at her watch to see if she’s going to miss the last train. It’ll be an Apple Watch and she’ll be checking news/social media/tweets etc. dh has one and I swear that we’ve nearly come to blows over it (he would never use it in the theatre/cinema, though).

These are not watches you glance at to tell the time. There is much exaggerated twisting of elbow movement and raising up to see it.