To think I’m the only one who feels this way?

[GCNC]

Feeling super sorry for myself tonight: yet another bad weekend with my 5 year old. Crying most of the day, with some major tantrums thrown in for good measure. It’s so so hard to enjoy being with them. I keep thinking: this just can’t be normal. Is this normal?

YABU- yea this is 5 year olds, more or less
YANBU- something else is going on here; see a GP or a witch doctor or an exorcist or
SOMETHING ASAP 😉

My daughters 6 and has cried and throw tantrums on and off all day. I asked her to tidy up, I asked her not to play on a certain piece of furniture, I asked her to put her drink on the table queue meltdown after meltdown. Thank god she's asleep now lol.

Been there and got the t.shirt, they grow out of it. It's not easy at the time though [tea]

My 5 year old kicked the back of the seat whilst I was driving and then proceeded to throw a hot water bottle at me after being asked to stop.. she is now a lively almost 15 year old. It will get better!

Lovely

Both of you- thank you. I am so drained by it today that I have lost all sight of what’s normal and what’s an underlying issue that I should as a good parent be addressing. I’m usually a ‘get on with it’ type, but there have a been a few tears tonight since the kids bedtime… nobody tells you it will be this hard at times!! 😬😬😬

Totally normal. My 6 year old is like it still! Just a kid thing.

I thought I was the only one with a 5yo like this!!!!

There is crying and tantrums on and off all day. It’s exhausting for everyone

My 5 year old has been horrendous this weekend, lots of solidarity. He's had me in tears more than once.

They can really push boundaries at that age. I remember driving along the M4 from Bristol to London with my son (then about 8) shout/singing "Squirrels squirrels squirrels" all the way. I thought I would go mad (literally) by the end of it - but we all survived. But they are late teens now, really love, we went out for a Sunday roast, perfectly behaviour, nice to staff.. can't fault them! It does get better!!

Sorry, but I think this is unusual my 6 year old wouldn’t have done this at 5 and my 3 nearly 4 year old wouldn’t do it now.

Tantrums happen of course, but not at this frequency. I really don’t think it’s normal looking at my DC and that of friends.

My DD is nearly 5 and she can be awful at times. You're not alone!
I called her vile yesterday to her Dad (obviously not to her!) I'd just had it with her.

She was arguing about everything, not listening, being rough with her baby sister. Then at bedtime started getting toys back out, which she'd been asked not to do, then proceeded to kick a beach ball (god knows where she even found it) at my favourite lamp and smash part of it.

But then me and her had a lovely day out today! She's like Jekyll and Hyde I swear. I assume that's normal?!
I do find that tiredness plays a big part for her.

@Marmite27

Marmite27

*Sorry, but I think this is unusual my 6 year old wouldn’t have done this at 5 and my 3 nearly 4 year old wouldn’t do it now.

Tantrums happen of course, but not at this frequency. I really don’t think it’s normal looking at my DC and that of friends*

I have another child. Slightly Younger, not by much. Who has the odd tantrum but not like this. It’s partly why I find it so difficult to know whether I’m in the realms of normal or not!

I promise you this passes

@SazCat tiredness is a huge trigger and unfortunately they are always tired. We have solid bedtime routines, I’d describe us as a strict but loving and involved family. Still, the 5 yo gets up at the crack of dawn every day and kicks off until bedtime (some days, not always!)

Does anyone have any tips on how exactly
to make this pass slightly less painfully (other than alcohol??)

My DD has days like this and other times she is lovely. I think it’s normal

Did you take them out of the house today? I have to take mine out nearly every day otherwise they go a bit mental.

Oh I feel your pain. I’m at my wits end with my 6yo. We’ve just moved house, new school, and cousins close enough to see every day. She’s totally overwhelmed, overstimulated and overtired. My older child and older nephews weren’t this bad. I’m hoping that time will help. And actually I’m going to avoid alcohol this week so I’ve always got a fresh, clear head and can give her more attention and preempt the tough times and keep my cool. It has to get better doesn’t it?

I too would think it is unusual at 5.
In a toddller perhaps, but I would be looking for answers- are there triggers? Situations? Sleep ? Hunger? Is is tantrum, looking for attention?
Presumably at 5 the child is at school- is there crying there?

My eldest was like this. She was terrible at entertaining herself and would act up for attention. When she learnt to do more things for herself (reading, following instructions for lego or craft, puzzles etc) things calmed down a lot. Good luck!

@speakout little angel at school. Well liked by class mates and teachers. Yes- sleep is a big thing. Different child when well rested. it turns out that enough - quality- sleep is incredibly difficult to force!!

My 6 year old is the same and I was wondering the same thing.

@GCNC

Does anyone have any tips on how exactly to make this pass slightly less painfully (other than alcohol??)

I’m going to go all psychologist on you (not that I am one!) but I had to deal with major tantrums with dd1 from age 3-6. Terrible twos, piece of piss - 5 year old? Devil child, which clear she wasn’t but it was tough.

I had done everything - calm, gentle parenting, consequences, time out, firm voice, and so on.

A good friend of mine asked me to write down my feelings when I got pregnant, when I had her, what I felt and what I hoped for her.

She then asked me to talk to DD about it and remind her of how much I loved being her mum and tell her about carrying her, and being her mum in those early years.

The discussion massively helped. The 5-6yo brain hadnt really understood what my love was for her, how I loved her before she was even born. It all sounds a bit woolly writing it down but it was the first time she listened and understood why I was so sad myself when she acted out - I told her that just because I wasn’t crying or getting mad, that I didn’t feel it on the inside when she shouted at me or hit me (some of the worse tantrums). I explained that I don’t know how to be a mum, that I’m learning too, just like she learns new things at school - I hadn’t got a manual to read to know what to do and I needed her help.

She told me she likes a cuddle when she’s really angry, but she never wants to ask for one.

It was just a really good discussion and it was reframing my mind too. I’d become very bitter about it all, hated being a parent - like you, it was relentless and wasn’t enjoyable.

Not sure that helps or not.

My 7 year old daughter is a darling. Kind, thoughtful, helpful, lovely company and funny. She got the ‘terrible twos’ at 16 months old, and grew out of them at around 5 and a half. I learned to embrace the moments where her disposition was lovely, and there were loads of them too, praise the good, and choose whether a battle was really worth having. We’re really close now. She’s really sensitive and I think that maturity to identify and articulate her feelings has been the key thing that helped. Would she engage in mindfulness/kids journaling/daily debrief? If sleep is a key for her, how about some dedicated rest time? A 10 minute uninterrupted cuddle with you, followed by half an hour solo quiet time?

2 of mine have been like this today (age 8 and 9). We’ve had tears here too (all 3 of us). Some days are just shit.
Here’s to a better day tomorrow