Not attending baby shower

[Thumbelina3]

My cousin is having a baby soon and I have been invited to her baby shower, which is being organised by her sister. I have not seen either sister / cousin since September.

I have also just had a baby who would be 5 weeks at the baby shower. I’m breastfeeding so, of course, would have to take the baby with me. I have had a look at how I would get to the baby shower and it would be at least an hour’s drive each way (likely more with traffic) or 80 mins each way on public transport (with no step free access and several changes).

After having my baby (she is my second) neither cousin has been in contact with me other than when I put a message on a family WhatsApp group to say she’d arrived and they sent brief congratulatory messages. Neither have subsequently been in touch to see how we’re doing or sent cards or anything.

I can’t really be bothered to make a huge effort to go to the baby shower when I feel like my cousins have made zero effort with me. Am I being unreasonable?

Not at all. She shouldn’t be surprised you’re not going and hopefully will take it in good grace. Watch out for “my cousin isn’t coming to my baby shower” threads on here just in case!

YANBU, it’ll be easy to make excuses with such a young baby
Congratulations on your arrival 💐

Yanbu don't go. Why put the effort in for people who haven't bothered with you?

Sorry congratulations on your baby.

I had my baby shower today and my sister in law who had a baby 2 months ago couldn’t make it. She said it was just too much for her to bring the little one.
I replied saying if she changed her mind then she was more than welcome to still attend but I don’t have any ill wishes tk her.
Instead I kept her some cake etc and will drop it off to her.
If you’re not close then j can’t see it being a major issue! I would just reply saying thank you for the invite but I can’t make it- have a great day! And then just leave it at that. No need to explain further!

TBH she’s probably invited you to be polite, so that you don’t feel you’ve been excluded just because you’ve had a baby. It would look a bit weird if she didn’t invite you, but I doubt she’s expecting you to make a giant effort to attend.

I would send a short note congratulating her, wishing her a nice time, and that you’re looking forward to coming to see her in a few months when her baby is born and yours is a bit older.

I think it’s fine not to go (although don’t see an issue in it being an hour each way nor why you would need to consider public transport if you drive?!) - just a polite response, “thank you for the invite, so kind of you to think of me. Sorry, can’t make it but do have a lovely day.”

@TheChosenTwo

I think it’s fine not to go (although don’t see an issue in it being an hour each way nor why you would need to consider public transport if you drive?!) - just a polite response, “thank you for the invite, so kind of you to think of me. Sorry, can’t make it but do have a lovely day.”

A bit outing but I live in London and the baby shower is in totally the opposite side of London. I hate driving in London and it always takes longer than you think with traffic. Also, if the baby starts crying halfway through the journey I know I’ll find it very stressful to drive!

I have actually already declined the invitation but have been made to feel a bit bad about it by a couple of family members.

YANBU

I wouldn't go.
When people make you feel bad. Just say. Well i havent heard from anyone since baby was born. Or seen anyone since sept. So why would i go out of my way with a young baby in tow?