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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be fuming my neighbours have destroyed my fence? (again)

42 replies

Furioso · 06/03/2022 18:42

I can't prove it of course. But one panel of the fence has been completely broken, the top part has come off, and half the slats are missing. I only saw it today for the first time as I can't see that part of the fence from inside the house, and hadn't been out there for a bit.

Definitely not storm damage, firstly because the storms weren't that bad here, and secondly because it's panels between concrete posts, as DP said it would be odd sort of storm damage to damage it from the top. No fallen trees or branches either. It looks like it's been broken by being climbed on/ over, and the neighbours children have form for this. They climbed over my garden gate before now until i put some wood in front of it, so it's not beyond the bounds of probability they've tried to find another way in.

I'm really annoyed because I only replaced the fence 3 years ago. One of the panels then had been destroyed by their kids hoofing a ball up against it constantly, but it was a 20 year old fence so needed replacing, their ball antics just hastened it's end. But I really resent paying now because the arsehole kids next door and their arsehole parents have no respect for other people/ other people's property.

I also don't know how I can protect the next panel from being climbed on...are pigeon spikes allowed or illegal now? A camera wouldn't work because I can't set one up other than in the middle of the garden due to the angles, and to film the fence it would film their garden, which wouldn't be legal either.

They are able to climb on the fence because the dad/ chief arsehole built them some kind of platform at the back of the garden about 5ft off the ground, near my fence. I've got trees/ bushes nearer the house as otherwise they'd see straight into my house from there and I'd have zero privacy, as the house is at a lower level than their 'viewing platform'

I know there's no point in speaking to them, they will just deny it and basically laugh in my face, suggest I must be a bit confused (headtilt) etc. I asked their children last year not to play on my driveway with their bikes and mum arsehole badmouthed me to a load of passersby, because my driveway was empty (it wasn't, my car was on it, and even if it was, it's still my bloody driveway!) And what an awful person I was etc.

I despise them all. Unfortunately I can't move for a few years so I am rather stuck with them for now (they also own). I've been told the police won't do anything unless one of them is violent to me. And I don't want to escalate any dispute so it becomes declarable on any future sale. I just feel totally powerless which is so frustrating.

OP posts:
LouisaLovesMice · 06/03/2022 18:54

Could you take the panels off one by one and paint their side of each panel a different bright colour (maybe stripes), then put the panels back, thereby making their garden into a hideous theme park? They will have no choice but to erect their own fence to hide yours...
Hopefully they'll get the point after one panel, and promise to keep their kids off the fence.

Furioso · 06/03/2022 19:13

Ha, that is tempting. I could paint the new panel before it gets replaced but I don't have any real way of getting the other ones out. It has at least given me a laugh after being so annoyed by this Smile

OP posts:
CiderJolly · 06/03/2022 19:16

Just get stronger fencing?

Horst · 06/03/2022 19:18

Plastic cat spikes. A big thorny bush your side. Anti climb paint as long as you erect signs.

Horst · 06/03/2022 19:18

How old are they? A camera and then report when you catch them for criminal damage by climbing over it.

Whatthefleckster · 06/03/2022 19:19

Cat proof your fence.

Furioso · 06/03/2022 19:25

If cat/ pigeon spikes are legal I could definitely get someone to fix them to the top of the fence panels. Hopefully that should help. Not sure about the paint as where would I put a notice?

I have several bushes in the garden but I can't have them along the whole 80ft length of the fence.

The fence panels are the standard 6 X 6 ones from a local company, I'm not sure how I could get a stronger one, fences aren't meant to be climbed or stood on.

OP posts:
EmbarrassingMama · 06/03/2022 19:29

I’d get roses climbing up and across the top of it…

Furioso · 06/03/2022 19:29

Most of the children are under 11. The problem with a camera is where would I put it? I couldn't attach to the house as you can't see the fence from there. If I could find a way of setting up a camera in the CV garden somehow, I would have to capture their garden which potentially gets me into trouble.

OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 06/03/2022 19:31

Paint anti climb paint along the top and over their side slightly. I believe you have to add a sign warning of the paint..

ohtsmeagain · 06/03/2022 19:40

OP you need a blink one camera system that is set to detect and record movement on your side of the fence only.

You can place the camera wherever you like in your garden (attach it to a log of wood and then you can tilt the camera however you want).

Get the waterproof arm for it from Amazon too so it works well in the rain.

You can set it up with different levels of sensitivity so you could set it up so that it only detects once someone is on your legal side of the fence.

Also you can choose to grey out certain sections of the shot...this means that (along with you angling the camera at an angle rather than straight on) that your cctv can be set to not trigger or record on their side of the fence.

The footage downloads straight to your phone and you can save videos. Batteries last six months even with heavy use.

I found Blink cameras to be the solution when I was experiencing repeated arsehole behaviour from next door. I asked them to stop but they didn't. So I hid the cameras and they showed the neighbours repeatedly trespassing. I asked them to stop but they didn't. Then I put the cameras much more visible and they didn't like that one bit. They tried to complain about their privacy but I said I'd be happy to show them how the cameras were set to only detect and record movement from a human on my own side of the boundary and would be happy to show the police too. That shut them up and the behaviour stopped.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 06/03/2022 19:45

Carpet gripper rods along the top.

Cost a couple of quid and they’re stabby AF.

Slippy78 · 06/03/2022 19:46

Just don't replace it?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/03/2022 19:50

Not sure about the paint as where would I put a notice?

On top of the fence itself, surely?
It would be an eyesore for a while, but maybe worth it if it stopped the problem

BlueMoon23 · 06/03/2022 19:53

I wouldn't replace it. Plant a really throny bush underneath it where they drop down and definitely put carpet gripper rods up there. I had random people climbing over my fence into the garden (I lived next to a park at the time), it soon stopped when I put broken glass on there.

TrooBloo · 06/03/2022 20:12

A panel is only about £30 isn’t it? I’d suck it up.

FirstTimeSecondTime · 06/03/2022 20:13

What about just putting up a sign saying cctv in operation?

FirstTimeSecondTime · 06/03/2022 20:14

Also, why are they climbing on your fence? Are they going into your garden?

Chloemol · 06/03/2022 20:20

Put up a new panel. Paint them all in anti climb paint, put the signs on a post in your garden facing theirs

Then the mother can have the joy of washing it off the clothes
Report the platform to enforcement

Furioso · 06/03/2022 23:12

I don't really know why they are climbing on or over the fence. I think they stand/ climb on it because they can, and climb over if one dares the other, or I think if they've thrown things over (I do throw things over if I see a toy or ball, but I'm not always in the garden or home so I'm guessing they help themselves if they think I'm not home to see? Like I say I don't know 100%)

Although a fence panel is only £30ish, by the time I've paid someone to deliver and fit it, that's basically £100.

I'll look at getting some anti climb paint.

A camera would be good, I just don't know how much it will cost to install as I'd have to site it about 30ft up the garden away from the house to be able to see the fence and presumably would need to get a power supply wired up there to run it. I'll have to get an electrician to give me a quote to see if I can afford it.

OP posts:
DixonD · 06/03/2022 23:18

I just wanted to say that having a concrete post between the panels won’t stop them being damaged by strong winds. Ours have concrete posts between panels and one of ours was ripped out by the wind. It was only 4 years old as well, and in a reasonably sheltered place. I was surprised to see it laying on the ground, whilst a 40 year old wood panel fence (no concrete posts!) in a more exposed location is still bloody standing.

Furioso · 06/03/2022 23:21

My panel hasn't been ripped out though, the bar across the top has been knocked off, and a number of the slats below are off or hanging off. It looks like it's been stood on, climbed on or kicked, or all 3.

OP posts:
Useranon1 · 06/03/2022 23:32

If you can't see it from the house, why bother replacing it?

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 06/03/2022 23:40

I’d paint it with the anti climb paint and then go round and tell them you’ve done so because clearly someone is damaging your fence. Just to let you know neighbour so your kids know to not touch it.

mikeyboo · 07/03/2022 00:16

Grow something spiky like pyracantha in front of the fence - functions like gripper rod/barbed wire without any of the liability issues (and will attract birds!)

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