Housing Ukrainian Refugees?

[bluefairylights]

I don't know how I really feel about offering a room to a Ukrainian refugee in my house. I'm in Ireland and it was on the news the other night saying people can register with the Red Cross if they are able to house refugees.

I know from reading on here and talking to family in the UK the approaches are different. We are expecting to get 20,000 and there is already a huge housing shortage so they will need people to open their homes.

I want to help, but I'm worried about the long term outlook, I know no one has a crystal ball. Helping out maybe 1 or 2 women/ children for a few months feels like the right thing to do and something I would be comfortable with. We have 2 spare bedrooms. But what if it is for years, also we aren't the richest I will have to pay to feed/ cloth/ extra house running costs. They will be allowed to work here but where I live is very rural - small town of 1000 ppl - there are maybe 1 or 2 jobs locally at any time and zero public transport. So they won't be able to work if they come here.

I'm due my first child in 2 months, so my other worry is what if I don't like these people? I'm sure they will be very grateful to begin with but I have house shared in the passed, it isn't always that nice! What if they are lazy slobs who leave the place in a mess? If they don't respect our home or us how will I get them out of the house? I know that is fairly unlikely but it is possible.

I know all of my concerns are insignificant and completely dwarfed when you think about what is going on over there.

So honestly if this become an option for you how would you feel:

YABU - I would open my house to these women/ children in need
YANBU - I would have reservations

I think that a first time Mum shouldn't be contemplating this tbh. It could ruin your experience of a newborn and add extra pressure on to your relationship. It's unusual to not go through a blib after having a baby anyway. These people have left behind family, so there's going to be a level of grief and depression. You've got to consider what support services are available to you all.

I doubt there would be much support available. I really don't know though. This is just coming from the Red Cross not the government.

You’re about to have your first child. It would be crazy to consider this right now especially with all the factors you’ve explained.

I really don’t mean for this to come across rudely so hope it doesn’t. But if you’re not in a position to do this, you don’t have to. There is no pressure at all on you or anyone else to open their homes up. The option is good for anyone who has space / time / resources / money etc etc and that’s who this is appealing to.

I’ve seen a few of these threads and must admit it’s a little boggling to think that people who have never considered opening their homes to refugees to do so now. I wonder what’s different about this than any other refugees.

I think everyone would have reservations due to the reasons you have said including loss of privacy and not knowing how long it would last. I agree I don’t think you should jump in there first with a new baby on the way. Maybe if there was such an influx of people that society was bursting at the seams you could view some positives in that you are helping and they would be grateful and build a new friendship. If they couldn’t work they most likely would want to help you in the house and with the baby but they would be suffering massive grief at their loss of home and maybe husband.

I think at first it will often be people who have second homes to spare that will offer up assistance such as holiday homes and airbnbs although they also have to consider loss of revenue.
Maybe hotels will be able to accommodate them with payment from the state. I think you should concentrate on you for now and see how things develop.

I don't think a rural area with a new baby is an ideal place for a refugee either. It doesn't make sense for you right now, you shouldn't feel bad that you can't do this, I'm sure you can help in another way.

I'm in Ireland and I definitely won't be doing it. It doesn't suit. I think it's a lot to ask of people.

I wouldnt do this .You have a baby on the way. I would not be in a position to offer this either .It is a big ask IMO .Lack of privacy ,fuzziness of length of stay .You will be dealing with very traumitised people.

You are about to give birth and undergo major changes/adjustments physically, mentally and financially. This is not the time to take in refugees.

I imagine the target demographic would be people like: couples whose kids have just left home - spare rooms available, no major life issues going on.

I wouldn’t let anyone into my house to live.

We have an annex - so it wouldn't be having someone actually in our house. I'd gladly open that to someone in need.

It's not something I'd ever consider (not that we have the room). But I find it hard enough to share domestic space with my own family, it would be bad for my mental health to have anyone else living in my home.

I have considered it - I have a spare room in a small(ish) property. I also considered it when we had refugees move to the area previously. Accommodation was ultimately found for them, however, so in the end it was a moot point.

I am a single mum who works full time and DD is about to start school. I also rent my property, so not sure of the legality surrounding it.

I'm not sure my life is compatible to offer help: and I also think, deep down, that I wouldn't want the worry of having complete strangers in my home. I realise that makes me a selfish sod.

No, there are loads of hotels that the government can house people in, if they wanted to they could do it. I wouldn’t have a stranger in my home, no chance

There is no way that you should be considering taking in refugees when you are about to have a baby. That is life-changing enough in itself without having strangers staying in your home.

There has been a few threads about taking in refugees but I do wonder if those who are saying they would have thought it through. A total stranger/s coming into your home will bring many uncertainties- how long will they stay, emotional trauma, invasion of privacy, understanding and adhering to your house rules with cleanliness/tidiness, noise, etc. Some may dismiss these things trivial because they have a romantic notion of helping refugees, but it has the potential to cause significant issues and distress for the hosts.

You can help in other ways such as donating DEC charities such as the Red Cross, and local services that will be providing support to new arrivals with clothing, toys, toiletries, food and household items etc.

Absolutely do not do this if you have a newborn baby on the way - it really isn’t a good idea.

Thanks all, I guess it was just because we do have the physical space to house one or two people. My husband doesn't think it is a good idea for now either. He said lets wait and see what happens. We are now being told possibly 100,000 people could come here. To put that in context with population difference that would be 1.4million going into the UK.

I have appeased some of my guilt, I gave to the red cross. It is my go to one when any war/ natural disaster hits. This one I was tempted to buy stuff for one of the trucks going to the boarder crossings. I think a LOT of stuff has been sent so went with money.

We didn't offer with previous refugees as the government was able to accommodate ones that came here.