Friend checking up on my ex on Facebook then telling me

[Lolabray]

I am being really quite strong after leaving my ex, he’s deleted gone, I don’t check up on him nor do I want to. I was out with my friend who proceeded to tell me she’d looked him up then said something about his physique. Then something someone had wrote on his wall. I just thought wtf .. I’m trying to move on why would you do this? I don’t know if I’m over reacting but it didn’t sit right with me.

Aibu by being annoyed by this / should I say something respectfully and ask her to not do that again?

YANBU to be annoyed, but just tell her you don't want to know. It's easily solved!

You can ask her not to tell you, but you can't ask her not to look at his social media.

She sounds very annoying. Is she always like this?

She wants to shag him and is seeing if you'd be OK with that.

@AllOfUsAreDead

She wants to shag him and is seeing if you'd be OK with that.

Yep.

My gut instinct is she quite likes a bit of drama and seeing you moving on in a strong way has made her want to stir things up by relaying completely unnecessary things that can only have one affect on you. Very weird of her to be looking up your ex on social media and reporting back when nobody asked her to get herself involved.

Yes I agree x I’m going to message her and ask her if she wants to look him up in future not to mention it to me as I am trying to move on .. I don’t stalk her man! X

Just say I don’t want to here about x and if you are friends with him fine but don’t comment about me - I’d distance myself personally snf out her on a restricted view.

Having said I didn’t want any contact with my ex narc boyfriend and his narc ex wife I deleted all of them and blocked them. A mutual friend sent me a message a year ago saying ‘ hi how are you all hope move went well etc just letting you know x says hi and hopes all of well’ I responded all find but don’t want to have any messages passed on thanks or my posts discussed with x - this was the ex wife. Put the friend on a restricted profile.

A year later she messages again this time screen shot of a direct pm from the x wife saying ‘hope you are ok can you just say hi to pretty nails we often think of her. Ex husband says all kind of shit and wanted her to know we support her and not him blah blah blah’

The ex wife was foul to me and had called me a whore on Facebook and an old hag when I was in a relationship with him 5 years AFTER their divorce but they were both sending each other lovey dovey texts behind my back and using new partners to make the other jealous.

When I got that message. I just immediate defriended her and she sent me a rant over message saying ‘fine if you don’t want me to pass messages from her I don’t but I genuinely thought the message was ok and friendly’ I blocked her and didn’t explain.

In life they are shit shitters and I’d rather then weren’t near me.

Absolutely! But don’t say trying, say I am . Trying gives you the option to not , if you see what I mean ? Enjoy your new life x

If you got shot of him because he was a narcissistic dick and you finally realised, you might also start to see other ppl like him in your life for what they are.

Unfortunately, having its common to realise you've also had a close friendship or a family member along the same lines. Having one in your life can condition you into accepting shitty behaviour from others.

People who attempt yo stir drama or who bring up potentially hurtful things just to see your reaction are toxic and you're now seeing it more because you've already removed one asshole from your life and its...irritating as fuck when you start to realise there's another dickhead trying to mess with you.