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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

JD Wetherspoons

146 replies

Teeniebf · 04/01/2008 10:47

Mmmm interesting news about this well known 'family friendly' pub chain. They have in place a policy which limits parents to 2 drinks only - alchohlic & non alcholic - to prevent them from staying too long in their establishments with their children. One customer queried this when he was told about it and was told that the adults could stay in the pub that he child would have to leave, unsuprisingly he chose to leave and go elsewhere and was told yes this is true and that the JD Wetherspoons would back any of their staff/managers who enforced this policy. I used to take my family to a local wetherspoons as I enjoyed the fact that they are quiet and peaceful places. But from now on I will not be going anywhere near any wetherspoons - with or without my 2 sons and I intend to let everyone I know who has children that they shouldn't go into wetherspoons. Just another wonderful example of family unfriendly UK at it's best!

OP posts:
PeachyHasAFiggyPudInTheOven · 06/01/2008 11:21

there is a middle ground and its what ost people thought was the status quo- pubs make it clear, by their operating rules, provision of foods etc whether they welcome (or allow!) children in.

It's really not that difficult!.

The Wetherspoons back home and in the city close to here is lovely for kids; the one in the nearest town is appalling for anyone (there was a murder in the carpark a few months ago and loads of louts hang around outside), and I imagine most parents are well able to judge that for themselves. But if a pub hangs a sign outside saying children welcome until X time, then it should be so.

FWIW if it were purely an alcohol lmit as was first reported i wouldn't have an issue- being drunk in charge of kids is never good or clever. However, most aprents I know (and Wetherspoons has always seemed to encourage this) use the place as a kind of large coffee shop in the daytime, my sisters meet ther for a coffee and muffins after swimming classes. As the baby they take is very tiny, its hardly likely that he'd be runnig around being a nuisance at any pint (was born in November!).

kiskidee · 06/01/2008 11:47

gr1973, your posts in this topic is the typical of the attitude, IMO, when people say, 'many British don't like children'. I would add, 'they merely tolerate them.'

Last Thurs, dh, dd (2.8yo), a family friend and I popped into the cafe at Chatsworth as we had had a very long (7.5 mile hike) across the very cold Peak District. The cafe was almost empty as it was getting late, while waiting for our meals, dd who had never left her seat, shouted, whinged, etc, picked up the knife and fork, still wrapped in the napkin and banged them on the table. I said right away, 'No, don't do that, it is too noisy.' She didn't do it again or any other silly noise. Yet a lady sitting in a party of 3 near us tutted and rolled her eyes.

It seems to me that she thinks that children should be left in a cupboard somewhere till they turn 18. Now while my child probably would not have irritated you, you have to measure your attitude against whether or not you find normal toddler behaviour irritating because of your own preconceived prejudices. IE: are you being unreasonable, not is the parent or the child's behaviour unreasonable.

What I am getting at is that children learn how to socialise in a grown up setting by being in a grown up setting. People in society have a duty and should certainly have to grace to allow a child to make childlike mistakes of etiquette as they learn by advised on what is appropriate.

I don't also agree with you when you said that the drinking culture in Britain is a whole different topic. ER, no, this topic is a part of the drinking culture in Britain topic.

I apologise if I sounded like I am getting at you. That is not my intention. I just find the subtext of what you say, indicative of how a lot of Brits view children. And my dh, dd and I are Brits (though I was raised overseas.)

UnquietDad · 06/01/2008 11:59

Who died and made Wetherspoons God anyway? I'm heartily sick of all these "should/should not" diktats aimed at parents by people who probably haven't even got kids of their own.

If Wetherspoons want to clamp down on irresponsible drinking (which I doubt) then they could start by limiting drinks to groups of lairy SINGLE lads/girls out on the pull...

kiskidee · 06/01/2008 12:04

take a bow, UD.

lucyellensmum · 06/01/2008 12:14

gr1793 - not taken personally at all, in fact, i agree with you wholeheartedly.

In fact DD was an unholy terror yesterday and did play up just before we left the pub. I have to say, that is the first time i felt we were disturbing other people but i was very embarrased and said to the bar man, its ok we are going now To be fair we just got knowing looks from the other people, as if to say, we have been there - the only ones who did give us odd looks were people clearly not ready for child rearing If i had known DD was going to behave like that i would have not bothered, because i dont like it myself.

I would be most upset if i were to find a quiet corner of the pub and find toddlers running around to be fair, but it just means i am chosey about where i spend my child free evenings, hmmm, hold on, what are they

lucyellensmum · 06/01/2008 12:20

we have always taken DD to pubs and resturants (post smoking ban re pubs as this is a major issue for me) and 95% of the time she behaves impeccably. I do not expect her to stay at her seat but i dont let her bother other people. I think because we have always done this she happily sits nicely (most of the time) and we tend to take stuff with us to keep her occupied. I do think the attitude of not taking children to socialise is a sad one, but there are definately two sides to this, as i enjoy child free time and would hate to have other peoples children imposed on me if i had managed to swing some time to ourselves. I'm repeating myself now aren't i?

TsarChasm · 06/01/2008 12:27

Oh no! Where will we go for our Zebu steaks now?

lazarou · 06/01/2008 12:45

W'spoons is a gypos paradise where we live.

FluffyMummy123 · 06/01/2008 12:46

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lazarou · 06/01/2008 12:49

Chicago rot is also pretty rough. They have done it up now but I used to walk past it going home from town and all the vicky pollards would be sat there with their pushchairs and chavvy boyfriends smoking and drinking wkd.

FluffyMummy123 · 06/01/2008 12:50

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gr1973 · 06/01/2008 13:50

kiskidee,

Of course I dont think you were having a go. Just for the record, I love kids and dont think they just need to be 'tolerated'.

I think you raise some valid points about kids, socialisation, drinking culture etc. I just really meant that the drinking culture issue is a topic in itself and kids in pubs is just one aspect of it. There are lots of other factors though, so I didn't want to just tag it on as an addendum to a conversation about wetherspoon's attidute to kids. It's probably a thread in itself!

Ultimately, I'm just expressing my own view (not a diktat!) about children in pubs - I'm not trying to criticise anyone else's views. I think there is a difference between pubs that aim themselves at families and adult orientated bars that either do/do not allow kids in. Wetherspoons should decide what kind of environment it wants to be. I also think that adults without kids who use those kind of 'adult' bars are entitled to an opinion too.

lucyellensmum - sorry to hear that your dd was a terror! I agree - if someone wants a 'child free evening' then they can choose a bar where they get that !

On the risk of repeating myself more, I'm off to Sainsbury's!

Swedes2Turnips1 · 06/01/2008 13:50

If Weatherspoons want to cut down on irresponsible drinking why is their booze so cheap? I have never been in a JDW but a friend of mine said that after a gruelling interview in a local town, he had a large glass of Villa Maria Sauvignon Blanc and it was cheaper than he buys it from the supermarket to consume at home.

suedonim · 06/01/2008 19:21

I don't think JDW's wants to cut down on irresponsible drinking. They just want to make more money and they're not going to get it from families.

I've just read a report saying that their next target is to stop people from swearing in their pubs. By the time the smokers/families/swearers have been dismissed that'll leave around two people in the entire country to grace their premises!

lazarou · 06/01/2008 19:23

If w,spoons did cut down on the irresponsible drinking there'd be no bugger in there

littlerach · 06/01/2008 19:30

Lazarou, you must live near me, as that's the same here.
Though probably the same verywhere, lol.

SheikYerbouti · 08/01/2008 14:52

I have been to thr Wetherspoons in Trowbridge town centre as well, and witnessed a fight.........at 12.20 in the afternoon

nametaken · 08/01/2008 16:43

LOL sheik I only ever went into Wetherspoons once - at lunchtime - and I also witnessed a fight, between two charming middle aged ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!

frootloop · 08/01/2008 17:20

i think its all down to a few selfish parents ruining it for others.

we were booked in for a christmas meal at a very old pub, low ceilings, small rooms etc, not a family place at all. as soon as we walked in we saw a load of people with about 7 children about 2 yrs old, and all seven toddlers were getting tired and teasy when we went in, after half an hour they were all in full flow, howling at the top of their lungs. all the other adults eating in the pub were glaring daggers. the crying went on and on and still the parents did nothing, it was ruining everybodys meal as you couldn't talk or hear what anyone was saying, other people were cancelling orders and leaving.

those parents were hell bent on spending the whole afternoon in the pub and didn't care one jot about their poor children who must have been desperate to go home for a nap.

makingnosense · 08/01/2008 20:35

I was in a Wetherspoons pub once with hubby and IL's and 2 guys came in totally starkers, one in a Morrisons shopping trolley and the other pushing it!Came in through the front door, did a circuit of the pub then went out the back door. Fair put me off my bangers and mash I can tell you!

lazarou · 09/01/2008 10:48

sheik, i live in trowbridge. Have you ever been to the stallards? You can take your kids in and have a fight!

SheikYerbouti · 09/01/2008 18:00

Wwow Laz, I live in Bath (used to be intergalactricwalrus) so not far from you

I had a few dodgy nights out in Trowbonia pre DCs. We used to start in Wetherspoons (Sir Isaacv Pitman) and then Cjhicago Rock and then finish at the Snooker Club

I witnessed some figbhts, I can tell ye. Trowbridge is a bit like the Wild West after dark (mind you, so Is Bath - we had a 30 man brawl in town on NYE!)

The Wetherspoons in Bath is full of the dregs that have been kicked out of all the other pubs around town (and if you can get barred from the TRinity, you must be doing well!)

FluffyMummy123 · 09/01/2008 18:00

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FluffyMummy123 · 09/01/2008 18:01

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SheikYerbouti · 09/01/2008 18:03

Tes, tis horrendpous

Especially at night.

I do love Knees though, in a "Oh my god, do they still make that shite?" kind of way