To wonder if I should tell my line managers about my anxiety?

[anxiousness]

I started a new job 6 months ago. Since starting my mental health has plummeted. I have quite bad anxiety, and it is mainly social anxiety about work meetings and presentations.

I struggle to open up when I'm struggling, I tell my managers that everything at work is going well and, on paper, it is as I get good feedback on my projects. However, I find the meetings and social elements of my job incredibly stressful and it's going to soon start getting a lot worse as I'll have to give more and more presentations.

Is it appropriate to mention to my line managers in our weekly meetings that I have been diagnosed with anxiety and have been struggling? It feels too personal and almost inappropriate? Or would it be something I mention to HR? I have passed my probation but I'm aware I'm new still so don't want to come across as difficult. I just think it would help them to know I find presenting and speaking difficult, although I think it's obvious by the way I trip over my words in meetings all the time

I wouldnt say a word. They'll pretend they don't find it an issue but they will and they'll judge.

I’m not sure that telling them is constructive, unless there’s a way that they can help you. E.g., does it help if you present first rather than being later in the agenda, so that your anxiety doesn’t build over the course of a meeting. Or would it help if you did a “dry run” presentation with your manager before you have to present to clients or larger groups? If you aren’t asking for something specific, then I don’t think there’s any upside to sharing.

What I WOULD do is find a therapist or presentation coach to help you!

Good luck, and sorry that you’re experiencing this!

I am a senior manager and I've had people coming to me (increasingly so) to let me know they had anxiety.

It doesn't change my opinion of them, if anything I'm just glad they felt they could and should mention it.

Usually I will have a call with them, find out how I can help and make a plan for things like external meetings where I will lead or make an agenda so everyone is clear on what they need to say to reduce anxiety around it.

I think if you want to disclose it then do, perhaps go along to the conversation with thoughts on what would help you. I've had some staff who don't want help but others who have done reduced hours/duties.

I’m a manager who would definitely want to know. I’d want to know if there was anything I could do (take the lead in meetings, talk through meetings prior to the start). I’d rather support you than to risk you going off on long term sick. I’ve managed staff with ongoing health problems ranging from cancer, IBS, depression and anxiety, and I treat mental health the same as physical health.

I mentioned it to mine and wish I hadn’t. They bring it up quite often and asked whether they could mention it to their line manager… I said no because it’s not impacting on my ability to work (yet).

I’m a manager and I certainly wouldn’t use it against a member of staff like PP said

Some employers or particular managers may judge you. However if you are struggling with the presentations they may be judging you for that with no context of the anxiety. Has it been raised by your line manager?

I would tell them. I've got a friend who has very bad anxiety and has at points been housebound for weeks. She wouldn't do presentations. It hasn't held back her career at a big law firm. Employers should make reasonable adjustments and help and support you. However don't expect people to know what you need. Or to ask the right questions. So I'd go prepared have things written down and be specific. I.e. presentations - would you prefer to do in some other format? To go first/last / by zoom? Someone else to present your stuff? What solution do you want? Is this social element really necessary -could you just be excused from these?

My anxiety means I will very, very likely have to leave this job in the next few months and completely rethink my career path, it's just not sustainable for me. If I had known that this job would involve so much presenting I wouldn't have gone for it.

I feel embarrassed at how awful I am in meetings and terrified my manager is going to bring it up

Have a think about why you want them to know. Is it so your work can be adapted (which is a valid reason) or because you’re concerned about how they view you? Or something else? There is a huge difference between “I feel anxious when I have to do xyz task and therefore I need more support from work” and “I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and I’m working with a therapist on how to manage this, whilst that’s happening my work may be impacted”.

As a line manager, if you wanted to share I would want to know so I could support you in any way possible, or at least understand why you struggle in certain situations.

BUT I have had a few arsehole managers who probably wouldn't be empathetic.

So I'd say it depends on your manager and the culture of the organisation.

I'd like to think it wouldn't matter. My daughter told her boss about her anxiety and how it was affecting some parts of her role - and she said
"If I'd known that I'd never have offered you a full time contract"
She's starting a new job next month and I'll be advising her to say nothing.