To edit or return this children's book for being weirdly inaccurate/sexist?

[Alisae]

Trying to figure out if I am being unreasonable or not. I’ve never been tempted to send back a book before.

This title was recommended in the members magazine from the Natural History Museum as answering science/history questions for children so I assumed it would be fairly accurate if a bit whimsical.

Dd came to me a bit bemused about one of the ‘answers’ as it conflicts with something we had already explained to her around sports day. The question was ‘are boys faster than girls?’

The answer was a fairly inaccurate waffle about testosterone. As if that was the be all and end all. It didn’t mention the skeletal differences between men and women etc. and seemed to suggest women would always be faster over a long distance (perhaps true…after 150 miles! But the book made it seem as if all marathon winners would be women!)

I flicked through it and also came across a hideously sexist one about whether ‘Mrs.Claus helps compiles the nice or naughty list’.

Spoiler: She does. But she is ‘soft’ so don’t worry.

Did I mention she is soft’? A real softie? The author certainly didn’t forget to mention it, 5 times in two paragraphs! Certainly more soft than the very busy Santa Claus. And she doesn’t want to send children coal because she does all the cleaning and laundry so doesn’t want the mess.

When I saw a question titled ‘Where do babies come from’ I almost didn’t want to look.

God help a child if they don’t already know who has a uterus or not, because after reading the answer to this question they could be forgiven for thinking everyone has one! No mention of the word man or woman once in that one.

Male babies were mentioned once in the question about ‘why do men have nipples?’ but the baby was described as being inside a ‘person’ (no woman mentioned in any pregnancy related question)

It’s a shame, as some of the questions/answers are amusing, factual and what I expected the book to be (‘Do whales fart?’).

I don’t think I would even have minded as much if it was remotely consistent in its insistence on gender neutral language, but some questions feels uncomfortably like they are driven by an ideology rather than a desire to inform/entertain children.

AIBU?

Funny how the book talks about male nipples but 'a person's' tummy.
Agreed this sort of language is utterly pointless and infuriating.

I can't see anything wrong with it at all?
What book is it? Looks really good to me!

I can’t see anything wrong either

It’s known that men are usually physically stronger which means they can run quicker or lift heavier objects.

It’s why so many people are trying to stop transwomen from entering females sports. Because it’s not equal to competing against other women

Gosh, why can’t we say woman or mother? Particularly in a science book

But why one adult's sperm and a person's tummy?
Why don't they use the word 'woman'? Genuinely confused.

That answer to where do babies come from is atrocious! I'd be really annoyed to see that in a child's education book.

What a weird mix of mentioning sex then not mentioning sex

@Heckythump1 this is supposed to be a science book for children. I’d expect it to at least be accurate (it is seemingly deliberately misleading) and not confusing.

Dd is a prolific reader, with a biologist relative. She found it confusing and thankfully came to me.

But knock yourself out, it is entirely possible that it is mine and dd’s autism that has made the unclear wording so uncomfortable It is called ‘Everything under the sun’.

But some men do have nipples and produce milk - (not my actual belief but there was a thread somewhere here about chest feeding being used as a term).
Falling over themselves to not upset transwomen but sod everyone else.

I thought the use of the word adult was to emphasis this happens to adults, and not children. It should have been worded as woman and man, as it would make more sense to a child.

@Soubriquet I know! I believe that answer seems to be implying that it is only testosterone that makes a difference, which isn’t true. It also seems to imply that women will always win a long distance race.

It confused dd as we had already explained to her why she couldn’t beat her slightly older male relatives in a race (she is competitive and it upset her at the time before we explained about skeletal structure/muscle mass etc.)

And only adults have babies...

It's so odd how men and women are mentioned in the running but as soon as it gets to reproduction they aren't it's all sex neutral

Yeah that’s far too confusing for a kids’ science book

I see nothing wrong with it either. It’s factual that testosterone makes males faster and stronger as they go through puberty, compared to females. My DD is faster than all the boys in her class and would just comment that if she read this book. She understands the impact of testosterone too.

I would definitely send it back with a strong complaint on the "where do babies come from" answer alone. It's appalling.

While you are at it send a link to this paper and add some quotes to your letter.

internal-journal.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fgwh.2022.818856/full?fbclid=IwAR1GmMyg9yC58i3SargXSSpsw1NgaVoD6raB8cz40YuEgx9VxFTr5A4m4OQ

A few contenders:

"we would recommend that clarity in terminology and avoiding conflation of terms are important. "

"We suggest consideration of the following questions: How can I be clear?"

"How can I ensure that people understand what I mean and can readily recognize themselves?"

"How does language usage support or undermine the rights of women and children?"

"Am I engaging in cultural imperialism or improper use of privilege by requiring others to use language in a particular way?"

Thank you, I’m glad I wasn’t just imagining it! I felt gas lighted as an adult reading it, no wonder poor dd was confused!

I’ve never returned a book before but have now sorted that with Amazon and will take dd into town to pick a new one tomorrow.

It really is a shame, as I said, some of the answers I read were funny and factual in an age appropriate way. But I just feel too uncomfortable with the confusing and clearly ideology driven elements (strangely, this was only on answers referring to human biology)

Only women have uteruses. Only women can make babies. Only men produce sperm.

Embryos only grow in women's bodies.

This isn't a science book. It's a woke bullshit book

YANBU this sounds like a lot of mumbo jumbo - I don't think women are faster over the longer-runs - at all distances male runners are faster than women what nonsense. And the rest sounds like a odd mix of woke-non gender then highly sexist. Perhaps different bits written by different people.

@HikingforScenery but the answer makes it seem like testosterone is the only thing that makes a difference. Which isn’t true? Skeletal (pelvic) differences are completely omitted. As are the differences in organs size, muscle mass in certain areas.

It seems to be trying to suggest there isn’t that much in it, and also that women would be faster long distance (as I said, technically possibly true but only for very very long distances).

The testosterone part is fine. The cancelling and erasure of women is abhorrent and I'd return it for that reason alone

YANBU. Not good enough for a supposedly scientific book to not make reference to male or female when explaining reproduction to children.

To me, the running page is fine but the absolute bullshit woke avoidance of the terms man and woman - or even mother and father, are worth sending the book back for.

I don't think women are faster over the longer-runs

Women have won some really, really, really long ultra fell running events.
The gap between men and women is relatively smaller the greater the distance.

Their answer isn't wrong, it's just not comprehensive. And much of science teaching is like that (probably all teaching actually). You can't launch into the thousands of reasons.

@rattlemehearties

That answer to where do babies come from is atrocious! I'd be really annoyed to see that in a child's education book.

That’s definitely the worst. Makes it seem like two men could have a baby!