Gluten free

[Grapeuk]

Not an Aibu, posting for traffic. My son is having a birthday party in a few weeks and one of his friends mums has told me her son has coeliac disease. At the moment I will be providing the food as the kitchen at the venue is closed due to no chef, however that may change. But, if I do end up doing the food, what sorts of food could I provide for this child so he doesnt feel left out? His mum did say she's happy to provide food if needed but I'd like to try, however I have no experience in anything like this so worried I may get it wrong.

As a mum of a child with coeliac I would honestly prefer to bring the food myself unless you have pre packaged food. It’s the fact that whilst people really try it’s the tiny things they may not know: like cross contamination, ‘may contain’ labels, not using products that have previously had gluten in them, like margarine or jams etc

I always preferred to provide my own. I had a parent recently bake a separate cake for DD but she wouldn’t touch it as she is very aware of contamination (she gets very unwell). I felt sorry for the mum but I had tried to explain before.

I’d just like to know what you were serving and make sure the sweets are GF as mostly that’s what they care about. I’ve had parents offended we’ve bought food even though they have provided nothing suitable. I don’t miss kids parties.

If you want you could provide a token gesture of an individually packaged gf cupcake/ biscuits or something so he feels included and mum feels it is safe, then take her up on the offer to sort the rest. It's so hard to get it right. I'm coeliac and find it hard when I am given food I've not seen prepared as it's so easy for cross contamination to happen. Also it's hidden in so many ingredients (such as condiments and chocolate). It's really nice that you want to make the effort.
Someone made me bulgar wheat salad as they'd researched and found it was gluten free, but luckily I realised their mistake- it's buckwheat that's ok.
It's tricky!

As the risk is as much cross contamination as what is eaten, I would just make all that Gluten free. GF bread won’t be noticed at all if you buy a Genius loaf, or similar. M& S do nice sliced bread.
Pizza bases, the nicest are by Schar, Morrissons sell them. You can also get GF sausage rolls.
Cakes just substitute normal flour for the Doves Farm self raising, it works just the same.
It might sound like a faff but it isn’t, it just means buying the GF versions.

I can see why you'd want to try, because it feels more friendly. But if you do make a mistake it will be the other boy getting ill, which seems unfair. I'd take the mum up on her offer and make sure prizes and party bags are gluten free, for example no play dough as that has wheat in it.

Another time, if it is just the boy coming to tea, you might be able to provide some or all food then.

Although it sounds nice and inclusive to make it all gluten free you would need to let other people know you had done that as gluten free foods often contain allergens that are not in the gluten containing version of the food.

It would probably also be prohibitively expensive to only provide gluten free versions of the foods listed.

Honestly, as the mother of a coeliac child, I always happily provide food. I would always send him to a party with a packed party tea. Hosts have enough to worry about without coeliac disease.

Less so now he’s a teenager and he is good at checking his own stuff. His friends’ parents do get a bit stressed if he goes to theirs for a meal though. Which is totally understandable. I always offer food because I know it’s a pain in the arse.

Neither DS nor I would feel excluded by the need to provide him with his own food. Not in the least.

Don’t make it all GF. That’s a grim buffet scenario. 🤣

We have a local lady who runs a small entirely gluten free bakery from her home kitchen (her husband has coeliac disease so they're a completely GF house). If I needed to cater for a child with coeliac disease I'd ask her to make up a box for them, having given her a list of the party food we were doing for the other children so she could aim to match at least some of it. Then I'd not be worried about getting it wrong/cross contamination but I'd also feel like I'd have catered for all of the guests. I do think it'd be fine for you to ask him mum to bring his lunch though, and I'm sure she'd be fine with that too.

Thanks for all your replies. I'll probably just get a couple of prepackaged bits and get her to bring what she wants, she can then choose what she wants him to have. The worry of making him poorly just isn't worth it is it

There are plenty of options now re gf cakes. A really nice thing to do would be to buy a cake and serve it to everyone. It needn’t be snazzy. I would always pack a box for dd but would also offer to bake a whole cake (not the birthday cake itself) for everyone to share. No mum ever turned down an extra cake at a kids birthday.

Gf dc then gets to really be part of the party and the other kids learn that all sorts of things make perfectly good eating.

If you are interested in buying a GF cake Sponge do Piñata GF cakes and although I’ve not had that particular one they are our go to for cakes and they are the best gf cake in my daughters opinion .