How do I get over it?

[Yourcatisnotsorry]

Such a nonproblem in the context of everything else going on in the world. I know I am extremely lucky and spoilt really but I just can’t get over this…

I have a relatively ‘high flying’ career and have always worked hard and achieved career objectives. I’m now in a senior leadership team of 4 and lead a large international team. Year end appraisals have just come out and I’m the lowest rated of the 4. The rating was 2/5 all the others were 1/5. 2/5 is still ‘good’ but I’m devastated to be seen as not up to standard. My job is actually harder, more reports, more responsibilities, more technically difficult. I get great feedback from my team, clients, suppliers etc. Ive been in role the longest of the 4. I know work isn’t everything and i have a wonderful family, amazing kids, outside interests etc. a lovely full life but a lot of self worth is tied up in my career. How do I get over it? It’s been weeks since this came out and I’m still in bits.

My boss basically just said I’m not as good as the others but ‘fine’ so nothing really constructive to work on. I don’t do as much ‘self promotion’ as the others (all men) as I’m genuinely much busier and it’s just not in my nature.

Aibu to think fuck it and just scale back the efforts (stop the crazy hours and saying yes to unreasonable demands etc.)?

How do I just care less about this?

Yes. Only being out of the business for 3 months did they realise how much I did and when I returned I got a seat on the exec.

Yes it sounds like you are being taken for granted. If you have been saying yes to unreasonable demands for a long time, this becomes your modus operandi, and it no longer makes you special. It just makes you a workhorse.

Are you able to take your talents elsewhere? It never hurts to get some external validation - a few interviews could do your self-esteem a lot of good, and you might find a new opportunity that offers you a lot more than your present role/team.

It sounds like he is rating them higher because they are men tbh. Can you blow your own trumpet a little more? And definitely yes to turning down the unreasonable demands

Thank you all. I don’t think I can change the perception, I’m not into self promotion, I just can’t/won’t do it (it’s so obvious and cringy when others do I can’t lower myself to it 🤣). I just want to care less about it. I want to be happy ‘middling’. I earn plenty and love the work and company so no have intention to leave.

I think women who turn to this don’t feel that they are listened to in a medical setting. The UK itself is so stretched with midwives that some women don’t get the experience they are looking for and head to (the likes of Instagram) alternatives.

Both my daughter and I would have died in childbirth if we didn’t have medical intervention

Wrong thread! Anyone else having the glitch with mumsnet?

High flying members of the SMT should not need to be posting on Mumsnet unless they're completely out of their depth. You should be completely au fait with playing the corporate bollox game. Sorry to be harsh.