To be cross with the school?

[MrsPear]

Ok. H and I have debated this and agreed with each other. However I’m still debating if we are being ‘sensitive’ and therefore shouldn’t say something.
So equality act and hate crime both mention disability.
My child was called ‘disabled cunt’ as well as derogatory comments about his aids.
He complained to a teacher who was in his words dismissive.
Now if you replace the word disabled with say black. What would happen? We know as we had a letter about similar - internal exclusion and parents called.
So why are they not treated the same. Why is one ok - which a dismissive attitude is suggesting?
Am I wrong to address this and ask the school?

Who called him this?

How do you know nothing was done?

Absolutely not wrong to address it with the school. That's shocking!

You wouldn't know what the punishment was, if you are concerned your child is being bullied, you need to go and speak with the head to work out a plan to help your ds. They won't discuss punishments of other children though.

You are absolutely right to expect this to be treated as a hate incident in exactly the same way racist remarks would be.

Who called him this?

I would be contacting his teacher/head of year (depending on age) to discuss if the complaint was taken seriously.

Why is one ok

Eh? Who said it was ok?!
Calling any kid a black cunt, a disabled cunt, a stupid cunt or any other type of cunt is 100% definitely not ok. And you know that.

Yanbu follow up with the school

You'll should address this with the school.

All discrimination and hate is wrong. It's not a competition.

At my school if I didn't hear it myself but was told about it then I would encourage the child to ignore them and get on with the lesson and then at an appropriate point during the lesson or afterwards I'd report it on our internal system, the students who allegedly used the words would be picked up by a member of pastoral team, the incident investigated and the student sanctioned appropriately. Externally it may look like nothing was done as the students may not be picked up untill the next lesson depending on what else they were dealing with.

If I heard it myself I would tell the child off, have them removed from class and then make a statement, the school would investigate and again student sanctioned appropriately.

@MajorCarolDanvers sorry if it came across like that. I obviously meant they should be considered the same. That is what I want.

The child concerned was in classes as normal afterwards so obviously there was no action taken. The teacher with whom it was raised by my child and his friends didn’t see it as serious in their eyes - according to them they just shrugged. I will send an email.

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime ok that makes sense. I won’t go guns blazing I promise. I just want to make sure that it is not acceptable and it is taken seriously.

@MrsPear

Ok. H and I have debated this and agreed with each other. However I’m still debating if we are being ‘sensitive’ and therefore shouldn’t say something. So equality act and hate crime both mention disability. My child was called ‘disabled cunt’ as well as derogatory comments about his aids. He complained to a teacher who was in his words dismissive. Now if you replace the word disabled with say black. What would happen? We know as we had a letter about similar - internal exclusion and parents called. So why are they not treated the same. Why is one ok - which a dismissive attitude is suggesting? Am I wrong to address this and ask the school?

Here we go again. The only example you could give was to say "replace the word disabled with say black". These examples are wearing thin OP. You do not need to go there. It is not achieving anything but resentment. Which is no doubt not lost on you.

Contact HOY and/or SENCo.

The class teacher would have taken it further at an appropriate time, which won't be during teaching time. All teachers have to sit on things it doesn't mean nothing was done, it just means it wasn't done during lesson time. Usually, to avoid escalating incidents.

You're not being sensitive and it's not ok in normal schools.

My son was called a Nazi twat and the teacher heard and reacted immediately. Ds wasn't that bothered but appreciated the immediate reaction. Think it was just a bollocking as it was early year 7 but that's the only time he's faced that for being born in Germany

I agree with HP. In my school SLT/Head of Year would be informed, there would be an investigation/questioning of student(s) involved e patientuand certainly sanctions. Potentially internal exclusing and then possibly further (for Sixth Formers for eg they would be gated, lower school lunchtime detentions).

Definitely email in to make sure Head of Year etc aware -but but don't do the all guns blazing. Sometimes this stuff takes time (they need to get the right staff involved and they teach, need to get hold of parents, etc etc).

Replace the word disabled with stupid and teachers won't take it seriously name calling is rarely taken seriously even disabalist language isn't taken seriously homophobic language not taken seriously but racist language is taken more seriously I think it should all be taken seriously

Ita not acceptable. However, at the moment you donr know that the school thinks it is.

I am assuming your son is a mid teen if he used a phrase like 'the teach was dismissive'. How these things are handled will depend on age and many other factors.

I remember when dd was at primary a mother complaining that the bullying my dd suffered was taken more seriously than the bullying her son had suffered. What she didn't know is that my dd had, had to rushed to hospital after one incident, the police became involved, the boy (year 6) was dealt with by the police and then I complained to governors, DoE and wrote to ofsted. The school acted in the end after the police officer dealing with case told them they were failing to safe guard my dd.

This mother just had an assumption without knowing the detail, which is the situation you are in. You based your op on some assumptions. Speak to the school and get some more information. I hope they do take it seriously.

When you say aids do you mean hearing aids? If so it would be good to get your Teacher of the Deaf involved to speak to the school and offer training and an assembly.

You should definitely address this with the school but you really can't go around saying 'well if it were xyz it wouldn't be acceptable'. It's not a race to the bottom and it's very unbecoming because there are countless black students who suffer all manner of discrimination which gets dismissed. So stick to the incident with your child and the facts of that story.

I think you should expect the school to sanction the other child but for all you know they already have. The teacher will not have the authority to exclude the child from the lesson instantly. It will be reported and the HOY usually decides on the sanction. They may have been given a detention for unacceptable language and behaviour.

@VladmirsPoutine

You should definitely address this with the school but you really can't go around saying 'well if it were xyz it wouldn't be acceptable'. It's not a race to the bottom and it's very unbecoming because there are countless black students who suffer all manner of discrimination which gets dismissed. So stick to the incident with your child and the facts of that story.

This. All these posters who are so sure that if it was a racist incident, that it would straight away be dealt with. They really have no clue what they are talking about.