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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for gettign annoyed with my new neighbours?

24 replies

Ryhn · 05/03/2022 12:55

I have some new neighbours who've moved in (we live in a semi and they're in the adjoining house). I know I've been spoiled up until now as there was a lovely old lady living there, before she went to live with her daughter, and the house was empty for quite some time,so it's been really quiet. We're a pretty calm family, our household is generally peaceful, and I don't scream at my kids (17 and 13) because I don't need to. I struggle with my mental health from time to time due to an abusive ex husband. We had the garden improved over lockdown and I've created a lovely space for us to relax in. My 17yo struggles with anxiety and it's a great space for her to sit and read and calm her mind.

So, this new family moved in over Xmas. They have 4 boys aged around 5-11. I don't mind the typical boys' noise, although rowdy, its their house and that's fine. But the mum is constantly screaming at them - from really early in the mornings (waking us up) to late at night, she's yelling and shouting. During the recent storms, she locked one of the kids outside the house. The youngest child cries incessantly. The older kids cry a lot too. I'm sure the parents get physically violent too, but can't be sure. But it sounds awful When they're at school the parents argue a lot. I honestly feel really sad for these boys as it sounds like a very toxic household to grow up in.

On the weekends and school holidays, the boys play football in the back garden, but kick the adjoining fences with so much force, so it's a constant banging that I can hear from indoors. I get balls flying in at quite some force and they've damaged a few bits in my garden. My garden used to be my haven, now I'm worried that when the weather picks up I won't be able to sit out there because of the noise, but quite frankly I don't want to be hit by a football. I've also had shoes come flying in. If they know I'm outside they'll climb up the (6-7ft high) fence and ask me to throw their ball back over, or jump on their trampoline to look over the fence. So all my peace and privacy in my garden is lost. There's a grassy area very close by on the street where local boys play football, I gently mentioned that they could play there so they don't need to worry about losing their footballs, but they didn't really listen.

The constant arguing and shouting really overwhelms my daughter - my ex husband was mentally abusive so hearing this kind of screaming triggers something in her.

Besides moving house I really don't know what to do. We've spent a lot on this house and it's the perfect location for us. House prices around here have gone crazy high so moving isn't really an option right now.

AIBU? Should I just leave them be?

OP posts:
pickingdaisies · 05/03/2022 12:59

Hang on, she locked a child outside in a storm? She needs reporting.

GabriellaMontez · 05/03/2022 13:00

It sounds awful. I'm not sure what you should do... you could talk to the parents but it all sounds a bit volatile.

If a small child was locked out of the house in a storm I'd phone social services.

I'd plant some very prickly plants. Pyracantha.

I'd put trellis on the fencing.

Bunty55 · 05/03/2022 13:04

Yes it sounds awful and no matter what you do it won't stop.
If you make complaints you will have to admit to them when selling the house.

I would start looking for somewhere else to live if this were me

vivainsomnia · 05/03/2022 13:09

Good luck OP. We've been and there is nothing you can do. At best, the parents will pretend to make an effort but nothing will change. At worse, they'll tell you to F off.

Daffodil123456 · 05/03/2022 13:18

Report them to their landlord or speak to the mother

TellMeMoreHellebore · 05/03/2022 13:23

@Daffodil123456

Report them to their landlord or speak to the mother
maybe they have bought it?
TellMeMoreHellebore · 05/03/2022 13:23

@Daffodil123456

Report them to their landlord or speak to the mother
and why the mother and not the father?
lemongreentea · 05/03/2022 13:26

Sympathies OP my neighbours are like this. Infact I can hear them now shouting and making random strange noises.

BeHappy91818 · 05/03/2022 13:26

Nothing you can do.
Summer will be hell.

litlealligator · 05/03/2022 13:27

If they're locking children in the house and you think they are physically violent towards them then report them to social services.

thenewduchessoflapland · 05/03/2022 13:28

Do you know what school they go to?;you could talk to the safe guarding lead there.

Susu49 · 05/03/2022 13:32

I thought they might be by old neighbours (who were essentially lovely just shouty) but yours sound awful. Definite safe guarding concerns too.

KitBumbleB · 05/03/2022 13:35

Aw OP, I'm so sorry, what a nightmare. You manage to create a calm and loving home for your children and then this family comes along.

I can completely understand where your 17 y/o is coming from as well, loud male voices set me on edge, especially in a domestic environment like a home or garden.

Are the fences yours? I'd be telling the boys to get off them every time and next time their ball breaks something I'd be accidently popping the ball and saying it hit a spike.

PriamFarrl · 05/03/2022 13:37

@thenewduchessoflapland

Do you know what school they go to?;you could talk to the safe guarding lead there.
I agree. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to SS directly then talk to the school.
MintJulia · 05/03/2022 13:38

I'd report them for locking a child outside. That is not ok so err on the side of caution.

However boys playing football is normal. Footballs do stray. Kids making noise is normal. Parents calling their children down for supper is normal. You can't expect a deathly hush. If you aren't sure, get a family friendly friend round, and ask them their opinion

I moved into a semi where an old lady had lived. Within a couple of days, the neighbours complained because they could hear my quite quiet alarm clock which was absurd. People need to get up for work.

There's a balance to be struck.

icelolly12 · 05/03/2022 13:40

Noisy neighbours are the worst. Other than having a quiet word or moving house yourself, not sure what you can do as they're not breaking any laws but I would hate to live next door to them too.

Susu49 · 05/03/2022 13:44

You can ask them not to kick the ball into the fence though, I had neighbours who did this and it quickly destroyed the fence

Ryhn · 05/03/2022 14:06

Yes, they bought it 😭

OP posts:
Ryhn · 05/03/2022 14:20

Honestly, I don't mind normal boys/kids noise but the parents aren't just calling them for dinner, its really violent and aggressive. The football kicking is again, unnecessarily aggressive.

OP posts:
BlanketsBanned · 05/03/2022 14:25

If you feel the children are at risk call the police and social services

Ryhn · 05/03/2022 15:27

Thanks for the feedback - I have been so on the verge of calling social services a few times when it's got particularly violent-sounding, especially when the child was locked out of the house. Definitely sounds like a safeguarding issue, and I feel so sorry for the boys. Think I will have to have a word with SS tbh Sad

OP posts:
BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 05/03/2022 15:32

Get one of those very high pitched mosquito devices.

They'll go inside if you play classical music as well.

Bryonny84 · 05/03/2022 15:38

I lived on a housing estate (bought houses) and I was surrounded by families like this, they seemed to enjoy being as noisy as they possibly could. They knew they were annoying some others but if you dared to say a word they just did it louder and for longer. One summer was the last straw and I sold up and moved away. The council weren't interested as the guy who came round said it was "normal noise" and acceptable as not late at night. There really isn't anything you can do about your neighbours except put up with it or move.

Ryhn · 05/03/2022 15:52

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

Get one of those very high pitched mosquito devices.

They'll go inside if you play classical music as well.

Haha that's a brilliant idea
OP posts:
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