Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I the miserable one here?

50 replies

Newbie44 · 05/03/2022 07:58

Sorry long one, new poster, please be patient! So, I have pretty annoying neighbours. Nothing too major- screaming kids, visitors part blocking our drive, howling dogs and general inconsiderate behaviour. They’re young with four kids so I just put up with it with a sigh. We say hello/ engage in small talk.
We live by a school so neighbour’s friends park here and they all walk to school. Neighbour’s friend often parks inconsiderately, as do random others who seem to pick up and drop off kids at neighbours house, usually part blocking our driveway.
Anyway, when they all return from the school run, they often congregate on the garden and open the car doors and play the music loudly. Very loudly. General screaming and larking about, sometimes accompanied by kids beeping the car horn followed by mothers shouting at them to stop (which they don’t) As I say, annoying, but I just sigh and think how others don’t really consider those around them anymore and it’s just kids having fun (even though I wouldn’t have allowed my two to do it)
Yesterday, heard beeping horn continuously. It woke my dh but his fault for napping in the day lol. It went on for quite a bit. I just rolled my eyes. DD, a primary school teacher, was unwell and asleep upstairs. Eventually I heard her come down. She opened the door, looked for the adults, couldn’t see anyone so looked over to the car. A little girl (about 3?) was on her own in the car on the road, beeping the horn. She smiled and waved at dd who put her fingers to her lips in a shush way (think primary school teacher!) She came back inside and sat down, and all was peaceful! She said it woke her up so she had idly started counting how many times the horn peeped before it would have been worth getting out of bed, and got to 54 times before she eventually came down.
Two minutes later, door knocks. DD answers to see ndn, small child in her arms, and car friend waiting at the bottom of drive. I think she was expecting me to answer, as dd obviously isn’t usually home at that time. She asked if ‘someone here had told my child off’ (I know she thought it was me) Dd said no, not at all. She just put her finger to her lips and the child stopped. Ndn said ‘in future you speak to me’ Dd said she did look for an adult but couldn’t see one.
At this point, my bad, I went to the door and unlike me, raised my voice and shouted that dd was poorly, and asleep and the noise was annoying. Ndn said not to shout (fair enough) and she has been told to ignore child’s behaviour. I’m assuming she’s having parenting input. I do understand ignoring certain behaviours (teacher/mother myself) but small child shouldn’t be in car doing that, only to be ignored. Actually she wasn’t ignoring it, she kept shouting at child to stop. Friend has now walked up my driveway to join neighbour. She said I shouldn’t be commenting on neighbour’s parenting skills. I admit I told her it was nothing to do with her and to shut up. I said I love children, never have any problems with children’s behaviours but I do have problem with adults. I said child should not be left on her own in a car to annoy others, let alone for other safety reasons.
Anyway, you get the picture, to and fro comments on my driveway. Not my style to argue on the doorstep, never raised my voice to a neighbour in the 26 years I’ve lived here. When it was obvious that these people had no idea what my point was, I realised we were all embarrassing ourselves and wasting time so I told them to get off my driveway, which to be fair they did. I also said never to come on my property again, for any reason. I guess I was annoyed, defensive of my poorly daughter even though she’s an adult and surprisingly territorial at having randoms knocking on my door frankly spoiling for an argument when I personally had ignored the behaviour originally.
Anyway, am I being a miserable old git? I’m so annoyed at myself for doorstep arguing and realise the need to try to get along with neighbours for everyone’s sanity.

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 05/03/2022 09:07

Isn't it an offence to honk car horns when they don't need to be honked?

Ponoka7 · 05/03/2022 09:10

I don't agree with this idea that you can't tell children off. However in this case you should have tackled the parents. The noise is unacceptable, but unless the child has parental input they won't know. Your neighbour sounds she's been overly strict when it bothers her ie indoors, but let's them run feral at other times.

Newbie44 · 05/03/2022 09:12

@LadyEloise1
It’s an old car so unlikely to start accidentally and guessing parents had keys
@DontBeMean
I agree and annoyed at myself

Thanks for all the comments

OP posts:
MrsReeves · 05/03/2022 09:17

I'm having deja vu 🤔

Newbie44 · 05/03/2022 09:22

@MrsReeves
Meaning you’ve heard the same story before? My first ever post, although I’m sure loads of others have had similar experiences? Or do you mean something else 😊

OP posts:
Daffodil123456 · 05/03/2022 09:22

I would find out if they are SH & then go to the landlord

Sparticuscaticus · 05/03/2022 09:24

I agree with others you have the patience of a saint putting up with their antisocial behaviour

Not surprised with her aggressive approach to your door that you ended up raising your voice in frustration and told them to go away.

They are lucky that all DD did was put her fingers to her lips from the door when the child looked up . The fact their 3 year old was in a car beeping horn 54 times and no one saw , no one stopped it nor saw DD come to the door, shows they'd abandoned child in a car unsupervised. They are lucky you're didn't call children services.

I'd be videoing it next time and sending it to children services as a safeguarding (neglect)

It doesn't matter that the car is old and may not start- a 3 year old is playing in a car unsupervised for long periods. It's neglectful and anti social.

It also happens often, so the parents think nothing of it. In the video I'd be scanning round to show no parent is near or paying attention to the child. Let them argue that with police and children services.

worriedatthemoment · 05/03/2022 09:26

I would of shouted at them
Long ago

Newbie44 · 05/03/2022 09:36

@Daffodil123456
Mix of council/ bought ex council. They’re private renters. Lovely old lady who used to live there died some years ago, been rented out ever since.

OP posts:
Daffodil123456 · 05/03/2022 09:37

Contact the landlord the last 2 years we have been dealing with people like this who see no issue in their or their visitors poor behaviour & make out we are the problem

Buildingthefuture · 05/03/2022 09:40

You are absolutely not being unreasonable here. Infact, I think you have been extremely reasonable and patient - far more so than I would have been. They sound god awful. Don’t let it upset you, you are not in the wrong.

MrsReeves · 05/03/2022 10:04

@Newbie44 almost the exact same, ages ago. Only difference is I don't remember the DD being a teacher 🤷🏻‍♀️

LadyEloise1 · 05/03/2022 10:06

@Newbie44
Our cars are old and you can't beep the horn without the key being in the ignition hence my concern about the child.
Utter madness to leave her in the car.
Your dd did nothing wrong.
Do contact the landlord, you have been more than patient.

Newbie44 · 05/03/2022 10:23

@LadyEloise1
I hadn’t realised that- thank you
@MrsReeves
Definitely not me, although the only reason I mentioned the teacher bit is I’m sure we can all identify with exactly how she would have done the whole finger on the lips thing!

OP posts:
Velvian · 05/03/2022 10:43

I have 3 DCs and a dog. The dog does not bark and the DC have not ever sat in the car honking the horn. I would hate that for myself, nevermind my neighbours. You have been very patient and YWNBU.

LightSpeeds · 05/03/2022 11:42

Poor you. They sound like a rough lot. I'd never have let my kids or animals disturb my neighbours without intervening but some people really think they're entitled to do anything.

I hope this altercation doesn't escalate. They sound like a shower of b*stards! 😬

D0lphine · 05/03/2022 11:49

What CF let's their child get in a driving seat and repeatedly beep a horn? 🤣

Absolute madness. Any normal parent would take kid out of car, lock car and walk away. Not very hard is it?

lanthanum · 05/03/2022 13:05

Well, next time obviously you'll know that a quick and silent request which was understood and followed by the child is not the way to go. Calling the police it is...

Interesting that the child so readily responded to the finger on lips signal.

the80sweregreat · 05/03/2022 13:50

In the UK , there are certain laws in the Highway Code about not using your car horn between certain hours.
I'll look it up.

the80sweregreat · 05/03/2022 13:55

In the UK , according to the Highway code , you can't use your car horn between 11.30 pm and 7am unless it's to warn other drivers about a danger or they are doing something dangerous on the road.
The child should have been stopped by its parents , taken out the car and the car locked and secured.
It's not hard.
Most people would do this as they must have found it annoying too :(

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 05/03/2022 14:18

I'd have gone round to have a weird ages ago instead of stewing silently about it for ages then blowing up...

They sound beyond annoying though. And the beeping would drive me mad. Entitled rude twats.

Furrydogmum · 05/03/2022 14:22

My neighbour used to leave her young son in the car doing the same.. until he let the handbrake off and it rolled into another neighbour's car!!

Quitelikeit · 05/03/2022 16:39

I know you feel like you let yourself down but quite frankly you have been very tolerant for too long.

It takes a certain type of character to allow a child to do that.

Remember you can’t argue with stupid

clarepetal · 05/03/2022 16:47

I think you and your daughter were totally reasonable!! They were absolute idiots x

Newbie44 · 05/03/2022 18:32

Thanks everyone for your support. I still feel bad about it, I guess that’s just my character, but I am grateful for your views, they really have helped me feel better and some of them made me smile. Thank you x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page