I was friends with a girl who I met in uni at 18. She immediately referred to me as her best friend, though I don’t think we were ever that close. She was quite clingy and would often have feuds with random people for little reason. She’d never confront the person, but would just be extremely passive aggressive around them.
When we were around 22, after a summer break, she suddenly ghosted me. She wouldn’t respond to any messages and would avoid me in person. She created social events and made sure that I was the only mutual friend excluded. She used to take photos of a group of us in a lecture hall and then crop me out and post it on Facebook. If I sat at a table for lunch with our mutual friends, she’d get up and leave immediately. She referred to a new girl as her best friend. I didn’t know why this happened. A year later, a mutual friend told me it was because I didn’t contact her enough over the summer as she had gone through a rough time. If I’d checked in enough with her I’d know. Fair enough, I was sorry.
At age 24 and about to graduate, she suddenly started to talk to me again but it was awkward. Whatever. I wasn’t interested in drama.
At age 28, she invites me to dinner. It’s very unexpected. She tells me that she’s getting married and I’m going to be her bridesmaid. I didn’t say anything but I really like having friends so I thought it’d be a fresh start. Following this, I tried to keep up with her regularly with texts and calls but she’d either not reply or respond with a vague message. We arranged to meet up five times and every single time she cancelled hours before. The other bridesmaids are mutual friends and I know she was happily hanging out with them.
Covid lockdown number one - my dad died. We were going to meet up on the day. I said I can’t because my dad is unwell with covid (bear in mind this was when we knew barely anything about covid, it was scary). She didn’t respond.
Next day, she then texted me a copy paste job which detailed how sad she was to postpone her wedding. But couldn’t even respond to my message.
Months pass. I’m struggling. It’s 8 months until the wedding. There hasn’t been any planning, bridesmaid dresses, hen do etc. I can’t be her bridesmaid and I tell her that. She doesn’t respond. She then sends out another copy paste message to say that only close family and friends can come to the wedding and she is so very sorry that I can’t be there.
Now it is 6 months after the wedding…according to her best friend and husband, I’ve ruined her wedding. I should’ve been more grateful to be a bridesmaid and I should not have cancelled with such short notice. I saw her wedding photos, she started off with 4 bridesmaids and in the photos, there were 6. There was zero planning from/for the bridesmaids at the time that I left. She also invited a lot of mutual friends to the wedding who she actually isn’t even that close to. They want an apology. I’m 30 years old and sick of this. AIBU?