To think that really nobody gives a shit

[Crocmonsieur]

… about your wellbeing as an adult?

When you’re young people are interested and feel caring, even protective towards you.

When you hit around 25, and definitely by 30, people just expect you to just get on with life taking the rough with the smooth and keep it to yourself. If you’re having a tough time of it other people are more likely to get tired or irritated than concerned or helpful.

It makes sense I guess- once a fully mature adult, we’re means to be self sufficient.

I understand it but it still makes me a little sad!

About 15 years ago I removed the toxic people from my life and spent more time cultivating strong friendships with a smaller circle of people. This has certainly helped with my mental well being and general support network. I agree with some comments insofar as people generally have a low threshold for only hearing about negatives in life.

Agree OP. When people say talking is good for your mental health. Everytime I've opened up I've come away feeling worse so I don't anymore. Life is really hard. People expect you to get on with it. It's one of the biggest reasons I don't plan on having children.

I do know how you feel. I had good friends in my late 20s but could often feel lonely too. I think by that time of life people just have a lot going on. As a student there’s lots of time to sit around and navel gaze but by your late 20s people are working pretty hard, maybe in serious relationships, commuting etc. Can you arrange dinner one in one with some good friends and really take the time to find out how they are? And properly listen. Then share how things are with you

Well, I grew up in a toxic family where absolutely no one cared about my welfare. The school also never bothered supporting me and turned a blind eye to bullying as well as the obvious signs of parental neglects.

So for me it has been the opposite, but probably because as a grown-up I can at least advocate for myself and cut off/stay away from people who don't have my best interests at heart.

Nope. Nobody gave a shit about my well-being as a child, and I had no access to resources. At least as an adult I am able to access professionals best equipped to help me. Plus, I am better able to evaluate friendships and stay closer to people who are better for me. Mental health issues in children and teenagers tend to be minimised.

I think your friends are lacking in empathy and sympathy op, sorry. But I wouldn't not ask how someone is if I knew they weren't happy. Currently worried about a friend as she's going through a hard time, but when I try to help she is either too anxious to let me or says she's fine and not to worry and I know it's not true.

I think having a 'significant other' makes the big difference. There are degrees of closeness and parental and love relationships in my experience are the most close and the people in them are alarmist contractually obliged to try and help you a bit 😀 Friends not so much.
That's my experience.

@longcoffeebreak

I think having a 'significant other' makes the big difference. There are degrees of closeness and parental and love relationships in my experience are the most close and the people in them are alarmist contractually obliged to try and help you a bit 😀 Friends not so much. That's my experience.

almost not alarmist 😀

I don't think that - lots of my work team are late 20s, early 30s and I feel very protective towards them, especially if they live on their own which more and more seem to do now. Humanity is humanity - irrespective of age.