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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate my stupid life

17 replies

tswizzle · 03/03/2022 22:28

I booked flights and tickets for an event in Spain later this year... a ridiculous extravagance for me as I never spend any money on myself, but in reality about £450 for flights and event tickets for 5 days away. I haven't been abroad for 5 years and I got invited and thought fuck it I deserve it. Life is been awful in recent years, my partner committed suicide a few years ago and I've been in a real hole ever since.

Dd was going to spend those days with her dad, everything would be fine... or so I thought. He has now done something so awful that she will no longer be having contact with him ever again as she would be at risk, this decision comes from both me and her. I now have no one to have her which means my trip can't go ahead. No family and no friends that can have her that particular time. Obviously I don't resent her this and I would do absolutely anything to keep her safe. I'm not even that sad about the fact I can't go, I'm just absolutely devastated that I've wasted £450 I can't get back and can ill afford to throw away and could have spent on a really nice break for me and her had I known my plans would go down the shitter thanks to her feckless father. Aibu to want to have a little cry?

OP posts:
TheHoptimist · 03/03/2022 22:30

Can you take her with you?

ShirleyPhallus · 03/03/2022 22:31

I’m so sorry OP- for the loss of your partner, what’s happened with your daughter, and now the trip too

Is there absolutely any way you could make it work? Could she go with you? Could you find a local mums group and make friends with someone? Could you reconnect with old family or friends to help?

Original poster
tswizzle · 03/03/2022 22:36

@TheHoptimist

Can you take her with you?
No unfortunately it's an over 18s only music festival!

I don't really have any family, mum has late stage dementia and dad is dead. No close relatives at all, haven't seen anyone else in my family since I was a young child. I only have two friends she really knows as I've been a bit of a hermit since my partner's suicide and one is the one I'm going with and the other is on holiday that week as well as it's half term.

OP posts:
Russell19 · 03/03/2022 22:39

Could you sell on the festival ticket?
Could your friend get someone else to go and they pay for your place?
Can you still use the flights with your dd then you've only lost the ticket cost?

SuperSocks · 03/03/2022 22:42

How truly shit, I am sorry. How old is she? Could you look into adventure holiday type things if it's during the school hols?

Original poster
tswizzle · 03/03/2022 22:44

@Russell19

Could you sell on the festival ticket? Could your friend get someone else to go and they pay for your place? Can you still use the flights with your dd then you've only lost the ticket cost?
I could probably sell the festival ticket as it is sold out however that was the cheapest part of the trip, the flight was the real expense. I can't change the flight and an extra ticket for her would be £700 now as the prices have gone up dramatically since I booked mine, as she's old enough to have to pay adult prices for on air fares but def not old enough to leave alone overnight, let alone for several days!!
OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 03/03/2022 22:47

Put the ticket amd flights on sale on your local FB selling page/gumtree and anywhere else you can think of

Original poster
tswizzle · 03/03/2022 22:48

@SuperSocks

How truly shit, I am sorry. How old is she? Could you look into adventure holiday type things if it's during the school hols?
This is a lovely suggestion but she would truly hate that unfortunately. She just wants to be connected to the WiFi 24/7 GrinShe's 14 and she probably wouldn't even notice if I was gone for 5 days as long as the WiFi didn't go down and she had a source of money for Deliveroo Wink(obviously I'm not going to do this!!!)
OP posts:
Cantstandsmugness · 03/03/2022 22:49

Does she not have a friend she could stay with? You could reciprocate another time and the friends mum or parents could have a trip away whilst you had their daughter to stay?

Original poster
tswizzle · 03/03/2022 22:53

@Cantstandsmugness

Does she not have a friend she could stay with? You could reciprocate another time and the friends mum or parents could have a trip away whilst you had their daughter to stay?
She only has one girl friend, who is awful and I won't let her stay there in a million years, she'd probably come home with a drug habit. The rest of her friends are boys so not appropriate for her to stay with them..:
OP posts:
labyrinthlaziness · 03/03/2022 22:59

Oh that is really shite. Your DD is very lucky to have you.

Could you ditch the music festival and try to get her a flight to Spain?

If not just write it off and use the days off for a really relaxing time with her. At least you know she's safe with you.

PeakyBlender · 03/03/2022 23:02

We had a girl to stay when my son was 14. Not inappropriate as they were just mates. Might be worth trying.

Original poster
tswizzle · 03/03/2022 23:20

@PeakyBlender

We had a girl to stay when my son was 14. Not inappropriate as they were just mates. Might be worth trying.
If they were boys where they'd been friends for years, I knew the parents etc it might be different but they are friends She's made in the last couple of years since being at secondary school so I have never met their parents etc. plus she's a raging bag of hormones so fancies every one of these boys Blush
OP posts:
BoldMove · 03/03/2022 23:36

Could you take her on the holiday but just not go to the festival? And sell the ticket? Sorry you're having a bad time. Yes, you can have a little cry of course but the main thing is she's safe with you and lucky to have you as her mum.Flowers

XelaM · 04/03/2022 07:07

Could you hire a "babysitter" for those days?

spotcheck · 04/03/2022 07:17

Sell the ticket, see if you can rebook your flight to a much later time, maybe to somewhere else, but take your daughter.

Yes, they don't like being away from WiFi at that age, and they pout about it, but it will be Good For Her

resuwen · 04/03/2022 07:34

Sell the festival ticket, rearrange the flight to some where or some time more affordable when DD can go too. The two of you can have a lovely holiday.

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