Social media and Virtue signalling

[ValerieCupcake]

I don't/haven't update(d) my profile picture on Facebook or have ever made any posts to show solidarity with Manchester, Ukraine, Covid victims, Charlie Hebdo, Captain Tom Moore, Emiliano Sala, racial or gender equality, disabilities, Arthur/Star/Madeleine McCann, Sarah Everard, London Bridge, any of those things. And more. This doesn't mean I don't care. Doesn't mean I haven't supported these things with either money or time. I just don't broadcast it to the world to show that I am a good person. Is anyone with me or am I weird.

I don't do it either and nor does my DH. Neither did we put the 'vaccinated' announcements up even though we're all fully vaccinated in this house.
I do care very much about the injustices going on both in this country and others but I don't think changing my FB profile picture is going to change things.

No problem at all with Facebook posts telling people how they can help, where they can make donations or where they can join a march or vigil but just inform me - don't share it and tell me that you're doing it so I must too. I do my charitable giving silently.

I hate that now if people want to show they care or do something nice or good its virtue signalling.

Those people might just want to let people who are effected by these disastrous things, that they are being thought of, and especially when there is not really alot people can do to help, a little sign that those people are in our thoughts is not a bad thing.
I dont do it,as im mostly not on social media, but i definately would not think badly of people trying to do something nice.

I’ve seen quite a few posts of people in Ukraine who want us to engage by liking posts or sharing their flag or something because it makes them feel less alone. I’ve been doing this. I’ve shared donation links for charities too, it helps get them more money and if I’m going to actually donate then I think it’s an important cause that could do with a share. None of us are in the wrong here, nobody cares more I’m sure but it’s just doing what you feel is a good thing to do

It’s a bit judgemental to decide that everyone doing it is only performative. It helps to keep something like this in peoples minds and show we do care.

#bekind annoys me though because it’s disingenuous attempt to shut woken up.

I hate virtue signalling.
But I have a Ukraine flag on my profile picture….purely to show my support. I know people who have family in Ukraine.
Virtue signalling would be donating money or items and posting pics and status’s about it.
I’ve donated but nobody on social media needs to know about it. Nobody gives a flying fuck…but a little flag on your profile can show support and hope without putting on a big Facebook rant about your feelings or opinions.
The covid vaccine ones are more virtue signalling.

I literally don't care if people don't like what i do with my SM. If they don't like it, they can move along, unfriend, unfollow, unsubscribe. I don't give a flying fuck.

Sometimes i do things for charity and don't tell anyone, or buy homeless people food or whatever. And sometimes i do things and do tell people. The company i work for takes CSR very seriously and we're sometimes able to take a day off to help at some event, or where there's been a catastrophe. It is not signalled to the people or organisations we as individuals are helping, but we are asked (not forced) to put a photo and brief description on our intranet, so people know it is there if they want to use that time.

It never occurs to anyone to snipe from the sidelines about virtue signalling. (which in any case is not actually doing something)

Each to their own

I hate the “be kind” message. You shouldn’t need to be told to be kind particularly by women who are never kind.
Or post constantly reminding people how kind you are. One woman I know always shares photos and comments from people she has sent gifts or flowers to, just to encourage others to comment on how kind she is. Definitely seeking ego stroking.

I get what you're saying that you not doing that doesn't mean you don't care, and in the same sense people sharing these things doesn't mean they 'do' actually care.

But I do think there are a large chunk of people who are sharing these things on SM because they genuinely do care about the situation and aren't just virtue signalling.

Plus I think regular sharers on social media could be concerned about looking ignorant by continuing to share day to day stuff (kids world book day costumes etc) but not ever referring to Ukraine (for example). It could almost appear like they don't know there is something happening there.

@BabbleBee

I had a massive rant on my Facebook before I deregistered about a special needs awareness post that was during the rounds. I have a daughter with SEND and have little or no support from friends or family. I was livid and posted along the lines of instead of copying and pasting this shit why not include kids like DD, invite her to tea, to a birthday party, understand her but don’t post bullshit without doing something in real life. The ‘care’ and ‘love’ reactions I got to my post infuriated me even more

I can see how this would be very infuriating. The other annoying thing about Facebook is posting things with "I bet I won't get any likes or shares". I just ignore them.

@betwixtlives

this post is the mn version of virtue signalling to be fair

Yep.

Change your icon and post, don't change your icon and don't post, but don't complain that you're not being praised to the skies for consciously not drawing attention to yourself. You wanted to avoid attention and praise, you avoided it. Clever you.

I wish I had time to fuss over what other people choose to post on Facebook. I bet the Ukrainians do too. How exhausting to question people’s motives behind every post they make, maybe they really do care and are trying to express that somehow, which is basically what social media is for.

I never normally change my profile picture but added the Ukrainian flag after my Ukrainian SIL added it to her profile picture.

Her cousin's wife, his SIL, MIL and their dd are being processed at the Ukrainian border, fortunately in a car, and will be driving across Europe to stay with db and SIL. Db only has 3 bedrooms and has two 11/12 year old kids, so it's going to be a squeeze. Fortunately they live in the EU so the refugees are being welcomed . Our deleted words government wouldn't have let them have visas as they're not close enough relatives.

SIL's cousin isn't with his family as he is staying behind in order to defend his country. That brought it home to me

You're not weird. I don't really have a problem with flags on profiles etc, I don't but it doesn't mean I Don't care. What does annoy me massively is people marking themselves as "safe" when there is a big disaster somewhere in the world (those who do this are usually in Stoke on Trent or some such place) 🥵

Did you win a prize for being so superior?

I don't generally do those things either.

The people on my fb divide between those who don't really do it, and those who do it for every one from the "my cat got a thorn in its paw once day" onwards.
Some of the latter rarely post anything so is fairly easy to ignore.

What I really find annoying is the little memes like "kindness is the most important thing to me" from someone you know who avoids kindness unless they can't avoid it.

@VladmirsPoutine

Did you win a prize for being so superior?

Not yet but I'm still hoping. What about you?