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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - family making birthday plans for me?

3 replies

GreenTeaMom · 03/03/2022 12:46

I’m not big on celebrating birthdays anyway. I’m not a fan of celebrating my own.

My birthday this year falls on a weekday - my child will be at school all day which gives me the time in which I usually run errands, take a breather, do the things that need to be done (I’m a stay at home carer for my child, no partner/father around, I also have my own disability problems) and quite frankly because of my health conditions I usually need a lay down before my child comes home from school to have the energy to do bedtime routines for them etc.

I was planning just a quiet evening alone with my child when they return home, maybe order a takeaway, watch some tv and do a birthday cake (because my child would enjoy doing this - 7 years old).

My family have just announced that they have booked the day off to come over without even checking with me, because they want to see me on the day. I know this is sweet of them, but am I being ungrateful in thinking that it’s also not their place to basically decide how I spend the day?!

I’ve explained to them that it’s a weekday, my child will be at school all day (doesn’t get back until late) then I wanted a quiet evening and I will do something with them either the weekend before or the weekend after instead.

Am I being ungrateful or are they over-stepping the boundaries in basically planning my entire day without asking and just assuming that I would want everyone over?

OP posts:
Catnuzzle · 03/03/2022 12:55

You already have plans. Just tell them that. Doesn't matter what those plans are. Have a lovely day.

LawnFever · 03/03/2022 12:58

Tell them you’re not available that day and suggest a day/time that works for you.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/03/2022 13:09

Yes, tell them! You don’t have to be grateful for something you didn’t want

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